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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to not want to decide what’s for sodding dinner?

166 replies

MellowPinkDeer · 21/09/2025 06:20

By far, the worst bit of being an adult is decided what’s for dinner. Ask the kids ‘ I don’t mind’ when they do, because they are pretty fussy. Ask DH he ‘isn’t bothered’ but of course SOMEONE has to be bothered or no one is eating anything??

I’m so over being the only person who has to think about this daily nonsense - are these responses from others just purely laziness?

AIBU to just serve up toast every night?!

OP posts:
SushiForMe · 21/09/2025 07:55

Personally I don’t mind but I also meal plan according to what I want to eat and then ask DH and the DC if they wish to edit my plan.

Vroomfondleswaistcoat · 21/09/2025 07:55

My mum used to have set meals for each day of the week. Monday was shepherds pie, Tuesday was stew...you get the picture. Growing up I HATED it, the boredom and predictability, but I was part of the problem because I hated potatoes and, this being the 60's and us being poor, a large amount of every meal was potato.

Then I had to cook for a family and I found out why she did it. Meals for five kids when you've got no money and they all hate every single thing you make, it feels like. But now they're all grown up and gone - and I've gone back to meal planning! It makes shopping easier and cheaper, although now I only plan meals that I like, obviously. But I look back on those years of screaming hell where the only meal they'd all eat was pizza and they spent much of every mealtime trading food over the table ('I'll eat your peas if you have my sausages...') with horror. But they've all grown up healthy!

JustStopItNorasaurus · 21/09/2025 07:55

BitOutOfPractice · 21/09/2025 06:22

It’s absolutely the pits! Could you all get together on a Sunday to decide for the week ahead? If nobody wants to do that, cook what you want and if They don’t like it, they can have toast.

Yes this. I'd be tempted to just do toast anyway for a bit.

Or breakfast for dinner every night. I'm lucky though- none of mine complain and DH gets his own because he only eats salad at night.

TallulahLikesHoola · 21/09/2025 07:55

I'd think fuck it all, make what I like, and they can make themselves soup/sandwich/toast!

TattooStan · 21/09/2025 07:57

It's a never ending slog and I don't even have kids!
DH is going away for work this week and I'm going to eat chicken breast, packet brown rice and broccoli every single night! I don't care if that's boring - it's nutritious, doesn't require thought and doesn't create washing up.

peanutbuttertoasty · 21/09/2025 07:57

God save me from another spag bol! 😭

Mintearo7 · 21/09/2025 07:57

We have been weekly planning for a long time. Plan Friday, if one of us is out we plan on Thurs. DH does weekly shop on Saturday first thing so it HAS to be done. It’s painful for the 15 mins we are trying to come up with what to eat but then we don’t have to think about it for a whole other week.

JustStopItNorasaurus · 21/09/2025 07:59

Oh and my other top tip for when you really are out of ideas is to look at the lunch menu for a local school. They often have them online. Then just follow that. No thinking involved.

But truth is other family members ought to be alleviating some of the mental load. Sometimes I find it easier to crack on without them though.

Chipsandricetonight · 21/09/2025 08:09

I got so fed up of meal planning and then being told they didn’t fancy that or don’t like it that I refused to do it.
Now if they want me to buy and cook the food, DH and DD1 have to come up with the meals they want to eat or I’ll just buy and cook something for me and DD2 if they want to be fussy! Seems to be working so far

Original poster
MellowPinkDeer · 21/09/2025 08:10

Well this thread has cheered me up no end!! Thanks for the replies! I’m glad it’s not just me! We do need to do something different!!

OP posts:
Original poster
MellowPinkDeer · 21/09/2025 08:11

peanutbuttertoasty · 21/09/2025 07:57

God save me from another spag bol! 😭

AMEN!

OP posts:
Dillydollydingdong · 21/09/2025 08:11

Have a shoebox and put in all the meal ideas you can think of - shepherds pie, Mac'n'cheese, baked potatoes beans n cheese, sausage/mash, fish/ chips, ham egg/chips, risotto, curry, salade nicoise, spag bol, chicken dinner (winner winner!). Ask the family for suggestions and include as many as you can. Then on a Sunday pick out seven for the week.

Original poster
MellowPinkDeer · 21/09/2025 08:12

Survivingnotthriving24 · 21/09/2025 07:53

Put the types of things you like into chat gpt along with a weekly budget and ask it to give you a 4 or 6 week meal plan and cycle through it, life changing!

Oh I’m going to try this!

OP posts:
mamagogo1 · 21/09/2025 08:13

dont you meal plan before going shopping? Saves money as far less waste. Ours isn’t strict but I’ll have basics in anyway then buy chicken, mince etc plus the fresh vegetables etc for meals at the weekend, grabbing more fresh throughout the week as required, but the structure is there, so much easier

OhNoNotSusan · 21/09/2025 08:13

my dh is a one for I dont like that which throws and annoys me so often i dont tell him

Original poster
MellowPinkDeer · 21/09/2025 08:14

Vroomfondleswaistcoat · 21/09/2025 07:55

My mum used to have set meals for each day of the week. Monday was shepherds pie, Tuesday was stew...you get the picture. Growing up I HATED it, the boredom and predictability, but I was part of the problem because I hated potatoes and, this being the 60's and us being poor, a large amount of every meal was potato.

Then I had to cook for a family and I found out why she did it. Meals for five kids when you've got no money and they all hate every single thing you make, it feels like. But now they're all grown up and gone - and I've gone back to meal planning! It makes shopping easier and cheaper, although now I only plan meals that I like, obviously. But I look back on those years of screaming hell where the only meal they'd all eat was pizza and they spent much of every mealtime trading food over the table ('I'll eat your peas if you have my sausages...') with horror. But they've all grown up healthy!

I think I ate fish fingers for about 3 years but now I love food, just draining with all the effort! Your mum was onto a good - no thinking required plan, but we’d all be so bored 🤣

OP posts:
Original poster
MellowPinkDeer · 21/09/2025 08:16

mamagogo1 · 21/09/2025 08:13

dont you meal plan before going shopping? Saves money as far less waste. Ours isn’t strict but I’ll have basics in anyway then buy chicken, mince etc plus the fresh vegetables etc for meals at the weekend, grabbing more fresh throughout the week as required, but the structure is there, so much easier

I do, but no one helps me with the bloody plan. I honestly almost cried in Sainsbury’s yesterday, like if no one even cares why am I bothering?!

OP posts:
QueenOfToast · 21/09/2025 08:16

I agree with pps about having a weekly or fortnightly meal plan. When the kids were at school ours looked something like this:
Monday - pasta
Tuesday - chicken
Wednesday - fish (usually breaded)
Thursday - stir fry
Friday - chilli or other slow cooker option
Saturday - takeaway
Sunday - roast

It was loose enough that we had variety, but also gave us enough structure so that we weren’t having the endless “what shall we have for tea?” conversations.

Mumptynumpty · 21/09/2025 08:20

I never asked when the children were young, not even exH.

I would only offer 3 suggestions when they were older and then I was out and they had to cook.

Anyone who didn't want what was cooked could have toast but there was no other choice. I couldn't afford choices.

Now I tend to cook like I still have 4 kids and an exH but I don't mind eating the same thing for 3/4 days, particularly as it saves on cooking etc. I've never manay to downsize the ingredients.

MidnightPatrol · 21/09/2025 08:23

God I hate it.

’I don’t mind’ isn’t you being flexible, it you making it my problem…!

niftyfuss · 21/09/2025 08:23

Me and DH split the cooking for the week so I decide what I make and normally different things on rotation. What drives me insane is when it's his cooking day and he asks me what I fancy for dinner, urghhhh just make something (it's always the same things anyway ;)

PersephoneParlormaid · 21/09/2025 08:24

As a kid I ate what I was given. There’s too much choice now!

shellyleppard · 21/09/2025 08:25

Drives me batshit tbh . I try and plan 3 days at a time so I can get stuff in or defrost from the freezer. Doesn't always work but.....

MagicLoop · 21/09/2025 08:26

Surely you don't have to think about it from scratch every day? I (or dh) plan a week's meals at a time. Sometimes I swap a couple of days around, but apart from that I don't need to make daily decisions. We literally never ask 'What do you want for dinner?'.

ScarlettSunset · 21/09/2025 08:26

I hate it too. It's hard enough deciding when it's just for me, but ten times more painful when needing to include others too.

And I've been fairly lucky. The people I need to decide for WILL just eat what's put in front of them without complaining, but it's still hard to decide what that should be

I really feel for those of you who are expected to decide when your family members really do have an opinion but just not voicing it, unless you fail to mind read and get it wrong!

Edited for typos