AIBU to not want to decide what’s for sodding dinner?

[MellowPinkDeer]

By far, the worst bit of being an adult is decided what’s for dinner. Ask the kids ‘ I don’t mind’ when they do, because they are pretty fussy. Ask DH he ‘isn’t bothered’ but of course SOMEONE has to be bothered or no one is eating anything??

I’m so over being the only person who has to think about this daily nonsense - are these responses from others just purely laziness?

AIBU to just serve up toast every night?!

I do all the meal planning. I do it fortnightly. We take it in turns to cook, whoever is home first on a work day or whoever hasn't been at work. It's a loose plan, generally with really quick and easy stuff for days when we may be both home late from work. Sometimes I really can't be bothered, and we have a week of meals that require no thought whatsoever. I like to eat different things all the time though so tend to mix it up.

I feel really lucky when I read threads like this. I like cooking and planning meals, bit also everyone in my house eats what's put in front of them. When DD had a fussy boyfriend, it drove me MENTAL, because I had to take his pickiness likes and dislikes into account every time.

For people who hate cooking and planning meals, I would definitely do a seven day or even 14 day rotation. Always have a couple of no-effort days, like sausage and chips, and omelettes. Sometimes I just go to lidl and copy their country of the week! Greek week is great in the summer, Alpine week is awesome at this time of year because fondue is also easy (well, it is for me). The meal rotation is definitely the easiest way to manage it.

I love meal planning and organising meals. It soothes my disordered mind

This attitude was definitely a nail in the coffin of my last relationship. He had a long commute every day and I mostly wfh, so I was more than happy to cook dinner on weeknights - but anytime I asked him to tell me what he wanted that evening, it was "I don't mind, you decide". It was the lack of willingness to even allocate a fraction of his brain to contribute to our evening meal, just once or twice a week.

I ended up refusing to cook if he didn't tell me, and then he'd just order takeout which infuriated me even more (from a lazy-mindedness AND a health POV!).

He was (is) a lovely man, but so laid-back he's horizontal.

I sit down with a cup of tea and plan meals for several weeks at a time loosely based on the same type of food each week - one pasta, one Mexican, one fish, one meat and veg, one curry or stir fry, a roast or bbq for the Saturday, snacky supper on Sunday.

Then I find writing the weekly shopping list much easier because the planning is already done, just write down the ingredients we need and head to the shop.

Obviously it’s the same amount of work but it seems much more manageable to me doing the planning separately to the shopping stage.

We (loosely) meal plan and my 3dc all have to pick a meal each.
Our week tends to go like this:
Mon - chicken
Tues - pasta
weds - pork/beef
Thurs - freezer surprise (shopping comes on a Friday)
fri - beige
sat - changes weekly
sun - roast/stir fry/grill up depending on what we are up to

That's why I love Hello Fresh

I meal plan every week. I let each person choose a meal and then I pick the others from a list I have on my phone (separated into categories for ease). Then it’s easy enough. It’s also vastly cheaper because I can ingredient match so nothing is wasted.

Ughhh it is THE WORST!!!!!

It is definitely pure laziness at best. They all know Mum will do it, day in day out: all the planning, shopping, prepping, cooking, deciding. It pisses me off no end.

Feel your pain!

Here's a suggestion. Make a list of any meals they definitely like and just cook those on rotation.

We have a 6-week rotating meal planner. New things might get added every 6 months or so. But now there is always an answer to that question that requires very little brain power from me (at least on an ongoing basis)

I live in a house where everyone is very definite about what they want for dinner. They will also cook it themselves. I actually enjoy cooking and meal-planning, ironically! But I only really need to meal plan for myself.

I menu plan the evening meals with a recipe magazine or those cards from the supermarkets.
Lunch everyone does their own or when the kids were small it would be something on toast or sandwiches and salad.

I brought this up very early on with DP about something I couldn't STAND about my ex and he really took it to heart. In ten years he's never once said "I don't mind". DF on the other hand oh my god, "I don't mind", "whatever"... Arghhh.

This is exactly why I use Hello Fresh/Gousto etc

Yes I hate deciding on dinners too so my partner and I sit down and decide for the week what meals we’re having, make a list and go together to Sainsbury’s. I really don’t enjoy cooking though. Used to go every day to one on the way home from work and that took far too much time so we do our weekly shop now. Also, we have a list of dinners we make, and add any new recipes to the list, so if we’re struggling for ideas we look at that. BBC good food is also a saviour for recipe inspiration. Agree with you, OP, this is one adulting chore I don’t enjoy!

I did the ‘post it’ on a plate with the words for DH ‘I don’t mind ‘ and for DS ‘I’m not bothered’ - I thought it would make a difference (did I really ?) they thought it was funny and we still go round and round. Fact is, I don’t mind and I’m not bothered BUT they expect something, exhausting - 😂

The most favourite thing about going on holiday for me is that I don’t have to think what to make for bloody dinner.
I tell everyone I’m not cooking on a Sunday. We get a takeaway or go out to eat, so I don’t have to think !
Every Sunday DH will ask what I fancy for dinner then ? I couldn’t give a fuck.. you decide.. you think or book us something 😬

Its the worst. I also used Hello Fresh when I was about to loose my mind over it. A month or so off was like a holiday!

I’ve just gotten really basic. I plonk food in the centre rice, pasta, spuds, chicken thighs, salmon, beef brisket etc salad or a couple of veg. Theres always someone who doesn’t eat rice or doesn’t like something but there’s enough regardless. The 15yo does interesting cooking.

We get a Planthood box for 2 of us (3 meals) and have that Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday. It does my husband, daughter (small portion) and I and DS has pasta, pizza, beans on toast on these days (he’s still a little picky but growing out of it. Daughter then has supper after clubs too. Both kids have a hot school dinner. Thursday I cook a nice tea for us all and MIL including dessert. Then I cook or we go out/takeaway at the weekend but I shop again for this if we cook. We are not vegan but we find it reduces meat consumption which is a pro and I don’t mind cooking but can’t bare choosing what to have.

If people don’t mind, then what’s the problem. You get to choose what you want the whole time.

I have a cookbook that I’ve been adding recipes to for my DDs since they were were small. I usually go through that for ideas if I’m stuck.

Oh I agree. It’s the worst. I have been married 25 years. I was professional pre children. DH used to text me at court and ask what was for dinner. It’s become a standing joke.

now five of them ask me. I DONT KNOW OR CARE.

I now make up stuff. Worms and slaters in a pie.

frog leg dippers served with frog spawn dip.

the kids have stopped asking. DH, regular as clockwork, everyday.

saying that, if I lost him I would probably miss that ridiculous 7.30am question every day.

sometimes id take an 'i dont mind' as long as they then don't complain!
My issue is dd2 who has complex needs will only eat certain foods on certain days, with certain combinations! So i always have to ask her and cook hers entirely seperate so as not to 'cross contaminate'!!