Is it really true that some people just ‘ can’t remember dates’? Very upset right now

[BarbaraVineFan]

My DD’s 6th birthday is coming up. I was gobsmacked today to be asked the date of her birthday by my exH (her dad!!). He know the month but not the day… Is this at all normal?! He always used to say he was bad with dates, and that’s the excuse he gave today, but SURELY you remember your own child’s birthday? I’m so upset with him.

OP I have ADHD and am also "shit with dates" however I know my own child's birthday! Any other dates like birthdays, nephews, in laws (and embarrassingly anniversaries) even bereavements, that I can't quite recall, I shove in my phone calendar and just put the reminder on to annual! It's not difficult to put systems in place when you are genuinely shit with dates. But forgetting your kid's birthday is crap!

Ask him when bonfire night is. Or American Independence Day. Bet he fucking knows those, prick.
I would tell him for your daughter's sake but in future tell him to fucking write it down.

Even those really struggling have no excuse. Calendars exist and now even is smart fprm with reminders

My narcissistic mother claims she doesn't remember my birthday (bollocks-she remembers her own and the birthdays of my golden children brothers)

She once went mental at me for getting June and July mixed up and accidentally getting the wrong month

I bet hes the same-doing it to get a rise out of you

Twat

Well that's just shit and not remembering is just another example of how uninvested he is.

Both of my parents forgot my birthday one year (I think it was my 15th), funny thing was, so did I!😅 My mum realised the day after that we'd all missed it and produced my present. They'd never forget the actual date though.

I've never met a woman who couldn't remember important dates.

I really struggle with dates. Don't think I'd forget my own child's though.

I have no idea when American Independence Day is - why would I care?

Yes people are bad with dates. No it’s not acceptable that they don’t manage that themselves - just put a reminder in a calendar, it’s easy!

Yes they are. I struggle to remember the exact date my father died though I loved him dearly. The year I left school or graduated college or started college or bought a house. Dates just don't stick in my head at all.

I very regularly forget my wedding anniversary. Luckily the date is engraved on my ring, but every year I have to check. I do remember the month.

On the bright side - he knew it was important enough to admit he couldn't remember. If he hadn't asked you, that would've been worse for your daughter.

I'm terrible at retaining dates. I do generally know my immediate families' birthdays, but I've had to swallow my pride to check my step mother's birthday several times.

I am terrible with dates. Can't remember my parents birthdays (but I have them in my phone). Sometimes I get my daughter's birthday muddled up too when I'm thinking of it for a form...although I can vividly remember her birth! And of course get it right so I can organise her party, presents etc etc. I can't remember what year I got married, what year I bought this house, when I started my job etc. I am otherwise functional, well qualified etc. I am not too bad at maths, got an A at GCSE. Some people are bad with dates!

I deliberately don’t remember the date my mother died. It doesn’t matter. I remember her birthday and on Mother’s Day. Why remember a sad day that isn’t connected to any positive memories at all. Some people just enjoy making themselves miserable.

My children are in their 40s. My DH (their dad) still doesn't reliably know when their birthdays are!

I remember birthdays but I can't for the life of me remember what school year ds is in 😳

There was a brilliant thing invented to remind people of important dates.

What was it now . . a cauli . . . a colon . . a colander . . . a CALENDER!

Get him a calendar, write all the import dates on it, and stick it on his forehead, I mean fridge.

It's really true.

I’m 37, I’ve taken to reminding my dad it’s my birthday the day before, so that he remembers to wish me a happy birthday lol. He would be very upset if his birthday wasn’t remembered or marked but he doesn’t reciprocate

The bar is low.. you remember to your own child's birthday surely! I've know a few close family members and the rest are in the calendar.

I get my dads birthday wrong without fail every single year. He either gets a card a day late or a day early it’s almost a family joke now. I also forgot my wedding anniversary this year and we have only been married 4 years. I always remember the date of my grandads passing but only because it’s the same date Lady Diana died (although different year). I can however randomly remember numbers - I’m 46 and I can remember the home phone number I had when I was 7!!

I get my dads birthday wrong without fail every single year. He either gets a card a day late or a day early it’s almost a family joke now. I also forgot my wedding anniversary this year and we have only been married 4 years. I always remember the date of my grandads passing but only because it’s the same date Lady Diana died (although different year). I can however randomly remember numbers - I’m 46 and I can remember the home phone number I had when I was 7!!

That’s the point of this thread.

American Independence Day doesn’t matter to you, so therefore you don’t know the date.

However, if it was something you cared about then you would remember the date.

Most parents would care enough about their own child to remember the day that they were born and would know when it is coming up and to make plans to buy them a present and see them for it.

No decent parent just completely forgets their child’s birthday.

I've been in a relationship with my DH for nearly 20 years and I always have to ask him what date his birthday is.
I know the month. I do have the date written down obviously but if I'm not near it to look at then I would have to ask him.
My kids as well. Apart from one who was born on a public holiday so I always remember that.
I have them all written down multiple places tho so I've never properly forgotten on terns of planning and getting gifts etc...
But no I would not remember off the top of my head if put on the spot.
I can't remember any phone numbers either other than 999
I'm told I couldn't remember my own birthday exact date until I was in my teens!!
I'm not good with numbers at all.
I sympathise with your husband. At least he has asked you well in time.