To have had enough of my friend

[Spiritofeden87]

Friend of 30 years.

She has repeatedly given me a list of her expectations from me - is always telling me what she thinks friendship should be. Has recently told me that I have not been sufficiently excited about her new house to meet her expectations.

Thing is - amongst her constantly telling me how I am not meeting her friend expectations, she’s been a terrible friend to me. Constantly critical of my life, my parenting, the things I do.

I am being ghosted at the moment for something - not quite sure yet as she hasn’t informed me what I have done wrong yet.

Aibu to have absolutely had a fucking gutful? I really have- I think I am a bit of a people pleaser but menopause has taken that a way- a lot.

She just makes me feel shit about myself and like I am waiting for the next list of things that haven’t met her expectations.

@Spiritofeden87

Why the fuck is she still in your life?? Cut her loose & block her everywhere. Now. Don't give her a seconds thought & move on.

As you are currently being ghosted just don't respond when she tries to get back in touch. I had a friend who acted similarly. I put up with it for years as she really changed when she got together with her husband so I felt it was his influence. But after 10 years or so of her being really selfish and mean, I cut her out of my life. I still think about her and miss my old friend but I was definitely clinging onto the old friendship. Sounds like the scales have fallen from your eyes. Move on.

I’d lean into that ghosting and treat it like the gift it is.

Fill your life with nice people and enjoyable things and be too busy if she ever contacts you again.

Have you ever given her a friendship review.

give her a list of her failings? Sometimes you have to meet madness with madness.

in fact while she’s ghosting you it’s the perfect opportunity to send her a list on her own poor friendship and see her response.

in fact while she’s ghosting you it’s the perfect opportunity to send her a list on her own poor friendship and see her response.

I think it would actually be more satisfying to not respond at all. What she really wants is for OP to beg for forgiveness, but in the absence of that, a rant about how she is actually the bad friend would do, as it still gives her the drama and attention she craves.

Actually getting what she pretends to want - the end of the friendship - would infuriate her.

I used to have a friend like that. She did turn some other "friends" against me after I ended the friendship as she twisted one of the reasons everything came to a head and they believed her but honestly I've never been happier with a decision, I have some peace now. Get rid of her you'll thank yourself for it.

Sounds like you're better off without her.
Enjoy the serenity without her drama
Move on and spend time with real friends who value you.
If she does get back in touch (with some BS no doubt), just reply LOL and nothing else. Repeat

You know this isn't normal don't you? Friends dont give lists of 'expectations' and sulk about people not showing sufficent enthusiam.

Friends are there to build each other up & give supprt not put the other person down & stamp on their self esteem. She sounds like a very unhappy person who is taking her insecurities out on you. Walk away, no need to give a reason, simply say you're too busy to see her then stop responding.

Tell her to take a giant flying fuck to herself