Husbands can’t clean kitchens

[dreamornot]

Me: Who used the last piece of kitchen roll without getting a new one out?

DH: smugly probably the person who cleaned the kitchen.

Me: Looks left at the unloaded dishwasher next to the dirty sink with a pile of stacked dirty kitchenware that doesn’t go through the dishwasher… Looks right at the saucepan with last night’s mashed potato in it sat on the stove …. Looks down at the dirty work surfaces that nobody has attempted to wipe.

In what world does this constitute a cleaned kitchen?

YABU- Husbands are excellent at cleaning kitchens, this is a clean kitchen
YANBU- Husbands live in an alternate universe where this is considered clean, but it isn’t.

Ps my husband is better at me at cleaning the kitchen but only does it when he has visitors coming so doesn’t really count

My DH is much better at cleaning the kitchen than I am - he just doesn't do it as often as I do it.

He genuinely thinks he has done a good job ! He tries hard so don’t like to discourage him.

My df is fanatical about tidying the kitchen. Every evening he does a full clear and wash down of surfaces, clean of the cooker etc. He'll even clean all the black bits off the bottoms of pans.

I remember well the time we came back to him proudly showing his neat kitchen cupboards arranged in height order. This meant that the Christmas cake decorations were at the front, and the mixer Dm used every day were at the back, so not practical, if well meant.

My dh does most of the cooking, but does tend to leave it looking as though there's been an accident in an icing sugar factory at the end. I'm still training him.

What, do you think this is some sort of chromosomal deficiency? Of course men, being humans just like women, can and do clean properly, unless they’re a: kind of shit or b: employing weaponized incompetence.

Mine is fantastic at cleaning the kitchen. But he does leave it till the weekend and then spend 3 hours on it. It looks great when's he's done though!

Mines shite at cleaning!! Last night I started cleaning the worktops. He said he’d done them?! I asked him if he’d done them with his fecking eyes shut!!
He leaves the dirty water in the washing up bowl full of cutlery. I don’t get it at all!

Yeah. Right

weaponised incompetence

au contraire, OP, my DH is the one who does our kitchen to the point he disassembles the oven door to clean between the glass front pieces.

I'll give it a wipe round etc, but it's his main job and he does it well.

ETA: am going to assumed you laughed in his face and told him it's still a mess and to get cracking?

au contraire, OP, my DH is the one who does our kitchen to the point he disassembles the oven door to clean between the glass front pieces

Sounds like my husband. Every Thursday the cooker gets a knobs off deep clean.

Mine is a grown up so perfectly capable of cleaning as well as I can. As is my 17yo DS

DH has been in the kitchen again tonight, better job this evening, but he did miss the work surfaces again, which is the hallmark of a clean kitchen in my opinion, he also missed the rice cooker bowl.

Responses here have been enlightening, so many perfect marriages with perfectly equal domestic task distribution. Who would have thought from the responses here, that we live in a nation with a divorce rate of 42%? Nothing says “I’m in a great marriage” like slating other people’s relationships on Mumsnet.

Mine can. I was in hospital unexpectedly for a few days recently. I am the usual ‘house work person’ as husband works crazy hours/shifts and I work PT from home…
Did wonder what I’d come home to…house was bloody immaculate and organised, washing done, and I was swiftly tucked into bed with a hot water bottle and snacks.
My sisters house is a shit tip and she lives alone! Can’t even close a drawer!

I find it helps to get on the same page about what needs to be done and also developing a system for doing it. So I go top to bottom, left to right, when I am cleaning a room. I do underneath everything, every time I am officially cleaning, but not if I am just wiping up some mess.

It's usual on MN to conveniently ignore other types of jobs in a home other than Kinder und Kueche!

According to my DP, cleaning or any other type of housework - including putting his dirty clothes in the laundry basket and putting his freshly washed (by me) clothes away - is, and I quote “not my job”

Would it really make you feel better about having a lazy husband if everyone else did too?

You are the one slating your husband on here, it’s a bit rich to complain that people are agreeing with you that your marriage has flaws.

Mine cleans the bathrooms!

You don't need a perfect marriage to have a husband who can clean, it's a basic expectation.

Sorry dude, it's not a husband thing. It's a your husband thing.

My 18 yr old then I'd agree. If I say wash the dishes, he'll wash the dishes and now pans. If I don't specify cutlery then they don't get done. He has ASD and we're working on it.

And you said and did?

Yuck. What a sexist pig.

LTB

It’s my job to load dishwasher as he is frankly useless at it , we would then wipe surfaces but difference is he wipes around clutter whereas I will move it. BUT don’t get me started on mashed potato - the mess he makes with that is ridiculous , starch welds itself to every surface so I’ve taken to making sure I go straight in and rinse sink etc

My husband can.