To encourage my dd into high paying careers?

[AleaEim]

Silly and lighthearted since my dd is still a baby but lately I’ve been reflecting. DH and I come from disadvantaged backgrounds, we were never encouraged to go to uni or choose something well paid. It’s recently dawned on me (in my mid thirties) that all the wealthy or at least comfortable families I know seem to have chosen money over love for their jobs (or in some cases where my female friends with careers in the arts married men who were in finance) therefore they can afford to live in wealthy parts of London comfortably. I used to think that I’d encourage my DD to chase her dreams but now I’m thinking it’s money she needs to chase which is sad because it goes against my values. I just don’t want her to struggle like we did/ do. We live in a small place, and have very little disposable income. We’re moving up in our roles gradually but we’ll never be loaded as I’m in the public sector and DH in hospitality.

This is exactly what our families were like when we were growing up. They were just happy if we got a min wage job and they didn’t understand the difference between college and university qualifications. They still don’t. It’s only in recent years I’ve realised certain degrees make you more protected financially as such (accounting instead of maths etc). I am more informed now and want to pass that down to dd while I also respect her interests and abilities

Oh there are many many factors which contributed to my lack of ability in STEM. Probably the toys I was given (mostly or always dolls and never Lego or similar). Probably the fact my parents aren’t good at them either or didn’t think it was important for me (a girl) to pursue such interests. Probably the fact that my single mother to six children didn’t have time or energy to sit with me and do homework. She was also quite lazy in many ways and I remember her saying ‘you won’t be good at maths because I wasn’t.’ There was never really encouragement to do hard things. I also went to a disadvantaged school with overcrowding and if you didn’t appear academic then you were forgotten about (turns out I was quite academic and my career change recently has proved that 🙄) Also my career advisor advised me to go into childcare because it was easy even though I told her I had interest in fashion and business at the time.

also edited to say my school didn’t have chemistry or physics, only biology.

And actually to add, I remember MIL making fun of her brother because he is quite ambitious, he had notions as MIL would say.

Yes poverty of expectation, as anyone involved in education will tell you, is a real thing and will affect children more than any thing else. I would say rather than specific careers which may change, give your DD a love of learning and respect for the value of education. Also the expectation that she should only rely on herself- not a rich husband, not the benefits system, both of which can be pulled from under you.
I don’t earn megabucks but I enjoy my job, it pays the bills and allows me to be financially independent. I made good investments when I was young, I love learning so I have loads of qualifications and am happy doing more so I have a good pension, am comfortable and mortgage free. I come from an immigrant family who worked hard but didnt have tons of money at the start but partly through luck ( housing boom/shares) are now fairly well off. My H is the same age, came from a wealthy for generations university educated family. He got a large inheritance, decided to spaff most of it renting in Hampstead and coasting along in a job with no prospects instead of buying in a shitty area like I did and spending all my time getting qualificstions and going for promotions. So even though he was born in a 6 bedroom house to a wealthy ( but troubled) family and I was born in a council house, our mortgage free house is down to my investment largely ( its kind of evened out as I had 2 mat leaves and worked part time)
I think if I had my time again I would put a little aside into a stocks and shares isa for my kids from when they were born. They have savings but just in cash isa's as I was too cautious. There is a distinct possibility that children today won't have a state pension or a house that has loads of equity in in 60 years time. So if they can work, be self reliant and have enough to live on and have luxuries while they are young, they will have a nice nest egg when they are older and security for just in case.

Can I just say that maths and accounting are TOTALLY different qualifications. Like comparing History to Philosophy. Someone good at one may have zero talent in the other.
Both contain numbers, just as history and philosophy include words.

This is what I thought as I didnt really know about investments when I was younger. It was a mistake.

On the investment point. I’ve never been a big earner and have lived within my means having moved out of home and had to budget on a very low wage for years. I’ve always invested regular if small amounts in pensions and stocks and shares isas (just in a global tracker fund). It’s snowballed massively over the years and though I’m still working I feel financially secure. I’m not confident trying to give my teens careers advice but can encourage them to invest regularly and sensibly.

Interesting - I came from a family of six - my Granny was very ambitious, really valued educational achievement but also ran a buisness and for a woman born in 1903 that was unusual - my mother would wax on about who got what exam results - it sometimes felt that she cared about little else. My dad left school at 13, never had a salary - turns out he didn't respect anyone who couldn't run their own business - that, to him was real success - he made quite a name for himself. The combination of my mother's obsession with education (we got little to no support - just a lot of expectation) and my Dad's insistence that success was measured by being your own man and working for yourself meant that even for the two siblings who didn't get degrees we all did very well for ourselves, with high paying jobs or runnning our own business. None of us will ever have money worries.
I was able to advise my kids on what degrees and careers they should embark upon (I didn't insist - I just advised) - because I know them - know their strengths, interests etc, I knew what would suit them - whether they make a success of it or now who can tell - they are both hard working, got good grad jobs and seem to be enjoying them.

As PP says I think you may have got some wires crossed.

My Dad has a maths degree and then qualified as a chartered accountant. He had a lot of option and could have done almost anything with a maths degree. My Mum enjoys telling the story about when he got scouted by NASA but turned them down...because he wanted to specialise in pensions and VAT. Which he's been highly successful at.

Maths can lead to being an actuary, a data analyst, a teacher or a number of other careers, and also as so many people are anxious about maths, they are impressed by a maths degree.

An accounting degree doesn't necessarily qualify you as an accountant and doesn't carry the same clout. You usually still need to do the professional qualification (ACCA, ACA, CIMA)

I've heard that more accountants have a degree in English than maths as there's a considerable amount of turning maths jargon into plain English although I don't have a source for this.

I agree. I would say you'd want something that is transferable to many careers rather than specific. A maths degree is far more useful.
Although your DD is a baby, all you can do is invest in hercfuture educationally, aspirationally and financially and give her the foundations. You dont know what she'll be interested in in the future.

I come from a very similar background to you but with fewer siblings around my age (there’s 5 of us in total but across 3 decades). My mum read to me and encouraged my interests through the library and free museums but didn’t help with homework or go to parents evenings/careers events/etc.

I I left home at 16 and worked in some awful minimum wage jobs but also went to college and did a vocational degree. I worked my way up from the bottom of the public sector and now have a well paid civil service job. Equally, my husband did an v academic degree at a better uni and now earns a very good wage in tech, despite studying nothing related to his field.

I think the key is mindset and opportunity. I’ve always worked really hard, I’m very curious and love to learn, and I grab every opportunity I get with both hands. I read a lot still in my spare time, mainly around politics and social policy which comes in handy for the civil service!

My focus for our child will be on pursuing your interests, working hard and having a growth mindset. I guest lecture, and provide guidance/work experience for colleague’s children, and my advice for them is always to try every opportunity or idea for a career, see failure as a way to cross something off the list/identify an area for development, and to be open minded.

Being comfortable is more realistic than loaded. We own our home, don’t worry about paying for essentials, drive a relatively new car, go on lovely holidays and still find it easy to save - that for me is enough. Financial literacy and impulse control are key for being comfortable so we practice that a lot in our life and hope our child will learn from modelled behaviour.

I also think working part time from 16 in a service role is important to know the value of money and be humbled! Some of my friends think this is bonkers but I stand by it 😂

Yes, this.

It's more advantageous to have a First in something you're passionate about, even if it's Tibetan basket weaving, than drop out of a degree in Astrophysics because you hate it.

And it's all very well to do a degree in something vocational, but only if you are really sure you plan to stay in that career for life. For example, being a dentist is a very well paid career, but once you have a degree in dentistry it's going to be tough to get hired to be anything other than a dentist, so if you're not sure you want to spend the rest of your career on teeth, perhaps do something a bit broader.

I don't think firsts are important.
A 2:1 is fine, I think most companies are looking for numerate grads with excellent interpersonal skills. Stem subjects are fine but we find their writing skills often need some work.

I don't know anyone with a first who hasn't gone on to be very successful in their field, although that could be just because someone who gets a first is very dedicated and passionate about their subject and will continue to be.

I was pushed into Law because it was lucrative and had high status, I got a 2:2 and never worked in Law. I could have done something I actually wanted to do and got a solid 2:1 but I didn't because my parents had a picture in their head of me being a barrister.

That’s so interesting to hear your journey. We did think of doing a stocks and shares isa but dh and I thought it best to make a savings account in our names and give the money to her when we feel she needs it or is at least mature enough. With the stocks and shares it would be in dd’s name right? I worry about an 18 year old having access to potentially the only big savings we could give her. Maybe I’m looking at it wrong though.

Do you have any tips on where to educate myself in investing. I really haven’t got a clue and would worry I’d make a big mistake.

To be honest I still dont understand it so Im not sure! As I left it so late my plan is to get the DC's savings and open a lifetime stocks and shares ISA for them so they can save for a deposit. My ddad gave me the £6k deposit for my first flat. We wont have the £20k it would probably costvfor a 10% deposit now, so theyll have to save for it. Im not sure about the child ISA although my DS's child trust fund is about to mature and it just goes into his name. I also have to do the research as I still dont fully understand them but we have to bite the bullet sometime!

i grew up in a low income family.(mum single parent, dad died) my mum just encouraged us to do what made us happy, we either had to get a job or study, there was no other option.

dhs family expected every teen in the family to leave school at 16 and get a job, This makes me feel a bit sad as dh is extremely knowledgeable and if he had the support and encouragement could have done something he loved rather than the first job that he applied for.

with both of our children we encouraged them to follow their dreams and do what makes them happy however they had to either study or get a job there was no choice of doing nothing. However I think teens are pretty clever and know that money makes the world go around. Ds wanted to study history but knew he wouldn’t make much money, he’s now an accountant after studying accounting & finance. Dd doesn’t just want a job either she wants a career and is working her ass of At uni to achieve this, she is studying engineering.

Guidance and support, not pushing and demanding seems to have worked well in our family.

I need to find out if a JISA would forbid me to control it when dd is 18. If not, then I may open one and not tell her about it and give it to her when I see fit rather than automatically when she’s 18.

Guidance and support, not pushing and demanding seems to have worked well in our family.
Yes Ibthink this is the core of it. Pushing into high paying careers also runs the risk of the child completely pushing against it and deliberately doing the opposite.

The main thing with your degree is to have developed fantastic interpersonal skills along side your academic work (those service jobs from the age of 16 are often very good at helping young people develop those skills) - I think it often comes as a shock to grads when they've spent their entire lives focused on educational attainment that their employer is just as interested (if not more) in their interpersonal skills. The degree, never mind its grade, is not mentioned once the candidate has been invited to interview. It's all about their strong interpersonal skills, their ability to analyse data, present, problem solve etc. Thinking it all comes down to degree grade leaves too many grads unemployable.

Would you be happy if your DC grew up and stayed on a low payed minimum wage career for their whole life?

as of now, there is zero way of knowing what will be the high earning careers of the future. A chum of mine worried (but was ultimately supportive ) when her son went to art school. He’s 24 and out earns her & her hubby put together (concept artist at large gaming company)
so… who the heck knows. The days of law = massive income and creativity = dead end are long gone.

Where as one of our relatives did a degree in gaming programming, but didn't want to move from his provincial town or create any content for a portfolio, or gain any work experience (ever!) or apply for jobs till he had a lovely summer off - he was convinced that his degree would do all the talking for him - it didn't, even tech degrees won't walk you into a job if you dont' have the drive and the soft skills to get you through the door.

@AleaEim I just taught myself from books and YouTube videos. I’ve always been interested in the finance sections of newspapers. I did briefly try picking companies to invest in but it was too much faff so I just went for a set and forget global tracker.
I recommend a few YouTubers. James Shack, Damien talks Money, and Pete Matthews meaningful money. There is also a brilliant meaningful money facebook group (the only reason I am still on facebook). Perhaps as a starting point you could try the ‘meaningful money handbook’. Once you’ve worked out the basics you can come up with a simple strategy that works for you.
I have made some poor decisions in my life, especially around education and careers, possibly around relationships. But I am proud of how I’ve always had a grip on my finances. In many worst case scenarios I can think of, I would come out ‘ok’.