To encourage my dd into high paying careers?

[AleaEim]

Silly and lighthearted since my dd is still a baby but lately I’ve been reflecting. DH and I come from disadvantaged backgrounds, we were never encouraged to go to uni or choose something well paid. It’s recently dawned on me (in my mid thirties) that all the wealthy or at least comfortable families I know seem to have chosen money over love for their jobs (or in some cases where my female friends with careers in the arts married men who were in finance) therefore they can afford to live in wealthy parts of London comfortably. I used to think that I’d encourage my DD to chase her dreams but now I’m thinking it’s money she needs to chase which is sad because it goes against my values. I just don’t want her to struggle like we did/ do. We live in a small place, and have very little disposable income. We’re moving up in our roles gradually but we’ll never be loaded as I’m in the public sector and DH in hospitality.

Lots to think about on this thread

ultimately I want my kids to be happy.

what’s the point of life if you spend 50 years in a job you’re miserable in for a bit of brass ?

however , although money doesn’t buy happiness, it buys you choices which is a lot of life’s happiness in my opinion

also important is teaching good spending and saving habits . It’s all very well earning more money , but if you’re spending it on large car and credit card repayments … again why ?

as children we didn’t have a lot of money and were actively encouraged to work and move out at 18 . I have made sure that my children know while they are in education I will support them, and university is definitely an option for them (possibly not the youngest because of ability. But other options for further education could be accessed)

The most important thing is trying to start paying in as early as you can. There’s really interesting figures on the power of compounding (which is basically just that the interest gets more interest year on year).

My DD is in a high paying career on another continent. I see her once every 18 months.

Not quite sure why you are thinking about it, your child is a baby, heaven knows what state the world will be in in another 18 years or so

Look how the world has changed since Covid

AI is not going to solve what is probably going to be an overpopulated planet..

Not sure how to translate this into specific advice but I try to encourage DD to chase “choices” rather than a specific career/dreams.

For example I left a £40k job to pursue a hobby business. It has loads of benefits it terms of lifestyle and mental health but unfortunately I work harder than I ever have for less than minimum wage. I love what I do but I’m also secure that if I ever needed to, I can return to my previous profession

Email, Internet, streaming TV, online betting, online shopping services did not exist when I was at school

How can someone plan a career for something that does not exist ?

I would be unhappy having to worry about money.

How to feed my family good quality food, how to do repairs in my home, how to make my home comfortable, and warm.

How to pay for a car, world travel, fun trips and days out with friends. Quality of life.

I am firmly in the camp of my DC will be encouraged to pursue a high paying career.

Having no money sounds very miserable. You see hundreds of posts on here about people struggling.

I was encouraged to work hard and aim for a good income. My DC will be encouraged likewise.

Suggest to live within their means

There are lots of temptations

My ExH encouraged our kids to do this.

he didn’t grow up poor exactly but his dad always banging on about having no money and he went into a high paying career.

one child is now a Buddhist monk who plays jazz drums and teaches music.

the other is severely disabled due to autoimmune disease which she got in her teens.

he is terribly disappointed in both of them.

you can encourage all you like but life happens regardless.

I don't want my kids to be poor either. But personally I cannot do a job unless I enjoy it. I found working jobs I didn't like absolute hell. Felt like a prison. I want to be happy and I want my children to be happy.

That doesn't mean I don’t tell them that they will struggle unless they can make money. I think the way to go is to find work that you enjoy that doesn't pay poverty wages. I recoil when young people want to go into childcare. It's a disgusting wage and you'll be unable to eat in this economy.

I love my job and that makes me happy. It's not well paid but my main mission in life is to create JISAs for my girls so that they can have house deposits, and it's doable for me too, even on an income most of mumsnet would be baffled that I even survive on.

I nurture my girls’ interests and will encourage them into apprenticeships if possible. University would only be for vocational roles. But I'd still rather see them poor and happy than rich and miserable, and both are possible. If you do go into a demanding profession for example and don’t enjoy you become very stuck and are not really able to drop it all and start over. This isn't the case for more all rounder career choices. I have been able to chop and change and try things out and actually find something that I enjoy that pays me, and I do believe this is the way to win life.

I'll encourage the same of my children.

This is so interesting as it’s something I’ve been thinking about too recently. I always tell my kids (primary age) to do what they want as long for work as it’s useful and helps the world. But actually I think I need to add ‘and ensures you are financially independent’, especially for my daughter. I’m mid-forties and working in a low-paid job compared to my peers despite being reasonably well educated. This is because I choose to work in the charity sector and am not career ambitious. I’ve hopped around a lot and never really ‘climbed the ladder’. I’m reliant on my partner as he earns well, and this creates an awful imbalance in our relationship that I resent more and more. It’s like a vicious circle: he earns more so his career is prioritised, meaning that I never have the opportunity to aim higher. Anyway, slight derail, but my point is yes - absolutely encourage them to earn well as long as they don’t trash the planet or other people in the process!

We teach our children that working hard at school and pursuing a good career will give them choices and the freedom to go after their dreams. I appreciate this is quite simplistic but it’s adaptable to their maturity level and hopefully sets the foundation for them to live a fulfilling life without financially struggling.

Apparently a full time minimum wage salary is around £22k so more than that is good! I’m on over £30k in my 20s but not everyone is on £80k+ like everyone seems to be on mumsnet.

Money isn't everything. Support her in making her own choices

We have after some trial and error ended up trying to get our teens to think about what kind of lifestyle they want and what kind of income they need to have that, so they can make study and job choices based on that.
One knows that they want a high income life and is looking at business careers that would get them there in time.
The other wants much less materially and feels that they would be content with a teacher level of salary for example.

As a child i believe it is difficult to think about work, when a child has no experience of work.
What really helped me growing up is listed below;

I did well at school & gained good qualifications
I took part in school, college, uni clubs
I did chores round the home
I did chores at Grand parents homes
I started my first paid part time job at 16 & worked FT during holidays
I volunteered
I learnt to drive
This gave me a good social & work ethic foundation. I learnt about; respect for others, time keeping, doing a job well, progression, managing money & goods, rules & regulations, health & safety, saving, communication.

My degree was not related to the career that I started, but that it provided me with a solid foundation & a willingness to train & progress.

Was I happy ? Yes

My life has had its ups & downs, the same as everyone else
I have started again a few times

I am strong & independent

Retired early

Lots of people earn less than that in jobs that require skills and training.

What, dream of a low paid job?

I know it’s hard to believe but this just wasn’t a thing we talked about growing up and even now our families just have no concept of money. We have only copped on career wise in the last 5 years, saved hard, retrained to earn more etc. Our families were very much happy with us having minimum wage jobs and education was just not something that was important to them, it is to me.

I agree, it’s what got me out of poverty, it’s what helped me retrain and although I won’t be a high high earner, it’s a world away of what I would have been.

That’s interesting that you encouraged life long hobbies. I think I’m in two minds as i want to instil confidence and some people do make big money on their hobbies so I wouldn’t want to shun it.

My mother had an illness & wanted me to have what she did not have in life
She tried to push me towards a nursing career, but it was not my calling
Once she became a parent, she only worked PT

However I had

An excellent career
Independence
Travel the world

Sometimes, it depends what your starting point is in life

I do not believe in pushing people to do something that they do not wish to do

Excuse my ignorance but what is a global tracker fund (I will Google when did down for a nap)? we save into a normal savings account, is that not a good idea?

I agree, that we never stop learning

Yes I have read to her every day since she was born.