To encourage my dd into high paying careers?

[AleaEim]

Silly and lighthearted since my dd is still a baby but lately I’ve been reflecting. DH and I come from disadvantaged backgrounds, we were never encouraged to go to uni or choose something well paid. It’s recently dawned on me (in my mid thirties) that all the wealthy or at least comfortable families I know seem to have chosen money over love for their jobs (or in some cases where my female friends with careers in the arts married men who were in finance) therefore they can afford to live in wealthy parts of London comfortably. I used to think that I’d encourage my DD to chase her dreams but now I’m thinking it’s money she needs to chase which is sad because it goes against my values. I just don’t want her to struggle like we did/ do. We live in a small place, and have very little disposable income. We’re moving up in our roles gradually but we’ll never be loaded as I’m in the public sector and DH in hospitality.

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Vanguard funds are a good place to start as they are very low fee (0.2% ish a year) and if you make a regular monthly payment you don't need to worry about timing the market when you invest.

Why would you want to be in your 50s earning less than what grads in good corporate careers do?

Although obviously earning enough to live comfortably is important, I'd say just as important is finding something you don't hate as a job. I think people are more likely to excel in what they enjoy so within reason encourage my kids to do what they are most interested in. You be rich and miserable.

You did amazing by the sounds of it.

Maybe because for some people a job means more to them that just money?

Rather than career, encourage learning and curiosity.

when they were young we talked about “when they went to uni” it was never a question of “if”.

I also tell them to make sure they’re careful about who they choose to have a relationship with.

Yep there is a very stark difference between me and DH and his 3 siblings. My parents are immigrants from a poor country and I was encouraged to do well at school, told that what I liked didn't matter, and that a profession was more important than anything. I was only allowed hobbies as long as I had straight As. Any sport or hobbies were taken away if I ever got a B.

DH and his siblings are from a working class British family and were encouraged to just do what they want and be happy.

Now we're all in our 30s/early 40s, the difference between our lifestyle (funded by me, mostly, although DH has retrained and is catching up) and theirs is extreme. I used to envy their low hours in our 20s and their exciting travels (while I was working 80 hours a week) and the fact that they loved their (mostly creative) jobs and had so much fun (doesn't help that they all used to bang on about how life is for living) but honestly, now I have money and seniority (in my very boring corporate job), my life is infinitely easier in many ways. They're the ones doing extra hours now, worrying about bills, saying they can't afford a family or to travel. Turns out being poor is not the way to happiness, not in 2025 when the social care system is falling apart and a standard job doesn't cover the rent.

I feel sad for them as I love them dearly. But it's made me understand my parents much better to be honest (I obviously struggled with such a strict upbringing etc) and it has validated some of my life choices (which I struggled with often when I was younger).

I've encouraged her to choose subjects that lead to high-paying jobs, and gives her options.

She's also started putting money into a pension and ISA, so will learn the benefits of investing early.

With time, good health and fortune, the intention is that she will lay a solid foundation in her 20s and early 30s, that will allow her freedom by her mid 30s - 40.

I think it’s a good idea. I know some people who were encouraged to follow their dreams (from privileged backgrounds, incidentally) and who are really struggling now, and not through lack of talent. They chose fun/exciting industries but these industries are also extremely saturated and pay is terrible unless you’re in the top 5% or so. The ones I know are literally working in coffee shops and on reception in fitness studios to make ends meet. These are the children of highly successful professionals who received a very expensive education.
We seldom talk about downward social mobility but it’s definitely happening in some pockets of society.

i rarely meet people with good jobs who don’t like them.

sometimes they dislike elements, or certain times of stress, or a situation but on the whole they enjoy them even if doesn’t set them on fire. That’s how I feel about my job.

well paid jobs often come with certain advantages, beyond the cash: I’ve never had an issue working from home or attending a school event, I can take a holiday at the time of my choosing no squabbling over rotas or conflicts. I’ve never had anyone behave rudely or aggressively at work.

and that’s before you get to the cash which means you can enjoy every minute out of work. That feels like a better trade off than doing a job you love but constantly worrying about the car breaking down, whether you’ll ever move of a grotty rental or whether you can put the heating on.

I'm encouraging stem and law subjects

Cos let's face it, an arts degree just doesn't cut it

I think just being aware of different ways of living and being, and then giving them the confidence and skills to do that? And managing costs/budget so the income isn’t spent up!

From a very working class (single income/disabled parent) upbringing, I have lived internationally in exceptionally high cost of living cities, earning good salary and really enjoying the travel. I managed to save a very decent amount as there was a lower tax regime vs Uk, put into a house deposit and pension that I wouldnt have been able to match staying in Uk. I have been shocked at how many people who’d done similar had no savings, or even debt because of lifestyle creep, and I’ve seen very high earners in the uk spent up at the end of each month too. So teaching financial basics to complement a hopefully good career path is just as important!

You can encourage your children to be ambitious and to think about their career or what their chosen courses might lead to, but what they do will depend on the person they turn out to be and what they want for themselves, which is difficult to predict when still a baby! My son has a very high paying job but it suits both his skills and personality (confident and not risk adverse). My youngest has similar skills but a totally different personality and I can't imagine him doing the same thing.
I've mainly encouraged them to study hard (with varying results!) and to believe they can achieve what they want if they work for it. But the one with the high paying job didn't work hard until sixth form, when the reality of adulthood was closer.
My parents didn't talk to me much about the future and they separated when I was A level age. Careers advice at school at the time was pretty much non existent and I think I would have done better in life in a different environment and with parents who were a bit more focused on my future. I ended up feeling a bit lost and not really knowing what to do or what I wanted, so communication is importantly, I think.

I’ve been doing the same. Youngest at uni but already has the mindset that getting a well paid job/career is going to be more important than doing something you love (that can be done in your spare time). All this nonsense they feed you about working at something you’re ‘passionate’ about doesn’t acknowledge that life is very expensive now and passions don’t tend to pay much. Principals are out the window, I’m hoping he’ll go into a lucrative finance type career. (I am so tired of being ‘poor’, I wish I’d focused more on the money and not on my job satisfaction).

Me and DH are immigrants from India. We had the exact same thing with our kids. As and A*s only none of this wishy washy "just do what makes you happy" nonsense.

I agree but just can't get my dd I to it even thought l read to her every day for years and years and l am an avid reader myself!

There are two important considerations missing from your thinking, OP. The first is values. The second is financial independence, because she is a girl. As your DD goes through her teenage years, you can encourage her to start thinking about what role money has for her, and steer her away from the idea that she can attain a good or high standard of living through a male partner.

For typo

Traditionally, male oriented jobs pay more

However, I believe that AI will change the world faster than the invention of the Internet in the future

New jobs will be created in the future

I sat with all my DC growing up and taught them maths.

With my DC I let them stay up an hour later if they spent the hour reading. I also had a policy where any books they wanted I paid for on top of normal pocket money etc. I think this helped, they are 20’s and 30’s now and love to read.

There are some jobs that simply don't pay that much, and they're often not unskilled jobs. I was working in the third sector earning a lot less than the average wage before I left paid work to concentrate on self employment and a lot of employees there earned less than I did. Not everyone is able to work their way up the ladder - not everything follows corporate paths.

Like what? Why choose a career path this way if you know there's no progression? You may get the fuzzies inside do charity work, but if it doesn't make ends meet?

Am I alone thinking you can earn a decent salary and have opportunities to climb in public sector jobs? (I’m NHS and dh is local government). We’re not millionaires but we live comfortably and have nice things.

I’ll encourage dc to do what makes them happy but get them to consider income. Being a high earner isn’t something i aspire to. It’s a different world and doesn’t interest me, but living hand to mouth isn’t appealing either.

That would be a total dream for me at 51 !!
but my sons are already on their way to exceeding it.

It wasn't my original career as it happens. My original career paid well but I had to leave it on health grounds.
What you define as "the fuzzies", I'd describe as working in a pleasant environment, being treated with respect and decency and knowing that the work I did made a difference to people. I also learned a great deal which has been immeasurably useful in helping me to carve a niche in self employment.

If people want to put money above everything else they are of course free to do so, but they shouldn't sneer at people whose priorities are different.