to report every man who lies about his height on hinge

[PoliteEagle]

i've really had enough of it. Had another hinge date this week where the guy claimed to be 5'8. He was 5'5 at most, more towards 5'4. I reported his profile to hinge for lying about the height. How they expect to build a relationship on lie, I dont get it

The truth is most women like tall man (do look it up) but for some it’s not such a dealbreaker. It definitely wasn’t for me. My DP is not super tall but he’s caring, successful and perfect. I am thankful to women who only want men 6ft+. My deal breakers were several- intelligence, empathy, good job into fitness and ideally with a STEM master/phd (I know niche). I got what I wanted. The lying thing is ridiculous but I wouldn’t report

Badum - tish!

I like that game - you have a good attitude to OLD!

I've had a fair few shockers in the past too, so much so that it has put me off, but I think if I dip my toe in the bog of despair pond again next year that I will follow your lead!

Dishonesty is so disheartening though. My best ever OLD-turned relationship was a guy whose main profile picture was him eating a sandwich. Not even remotely flattering, so when he turned up it was like I'd won the lottery, he was flaming gorgeous.

deleted as commented on the wrong thread!

Height is something a person can't help though and the problem is the sheer number of women that are looking for 6ft+. It'd be like if 80% of men decided tomorrow they didn't want to date any woman under 5 foot 4. I'm not sure the short women would be too happy about that.

The specifics aren't even important, the crux of it is that for whatever reason he's not attracted to her, men wouldn't say to other men 'oh you're not attracted to her, well don't be so shallow, you should date her anyway'.

My problem is not that other women have preferences, thats absolutely fine, its how they are vocally derogatory about short men that i don't think sets a nice example.

Yanbu

Height is something a person can't help though

And attraction to height is also something that a person can't help.

and the problem is the sheer number of women that are looking for 6ft+.It'd be like if 80% of men decided tomorrow they didn't want to date any woman under 5 foot 4. I'm not sure the short women would be too happy about that.

Except the real life figure is nowhere near that high, perhaps on certain apps is is but that's just an app, loads of people don't even use apps and most couples meet in real life, and real life experience should show you that men under 6ft often have no issue finding girlfriends and wives.

A lot of tall men like small women. Dh is 6'1 I'm 5'4. A lot of his tall friends are married to short women.
DH was the first tall man I dated.
I find men 5'8 attractive. Confidence definitely plays a bit part in it, as I also know many tall women who date shorter men.
Everyone is entitled to their preferences, excluding 80% of men will reduce their chances of finding Mr Right.

You said Its absolutely fine to have height preferences, but it's no wonder so many women complain about the terrible treatment they get from men when they are the same women constantly telling men, and especially young men who are still forming their worldview, that nobody will ever want them because of a physical feature they have no control over.

Some women are derogatory, many are not.

I only like tall men, I don't constantly tell men and young men that nobody will ever want them because of a physical feature they have no control over, I say that plenty will want them, and some will even prefer them, which is true.

And the people who criticise women for a preference are often the ones who go on and on about how X amount of women will never date them, because X amount of women only want , you're seen as less than, you're seen as this and that, blah blah, destined to be eternally single etc etc even though it isn't true, they're the ones who are often cementing the worldview, which isn't in any way based in fact, because they only need to step outside the door and look around and they'll see men of all heights in relationships.

If it wasn't a huge thing men wouldn't be lying about it. If anything I'd be wary of the tall men and why a seemingly attractive tall man needed to do online dating. They're probably all married. There are all sorts of risks doing OLD.

I’m not attracted to short men or fat men, so I never dated them. If short and/or fat men had a problem with that, then too fucking bad. Dating isn’t an equal opportunity endeavor and no one is owed a turn.

Similarly, if a man isn’t attracted to short/tall/fat/small breasted women then that’s totally fine too.

If anything I'd be wary of the tall men and why a seemingly attractive tall man needed to do online dating.

Well that says more about you doesn't it, you're the one judging based off height, not me.

And yes you're absolutely right, there are all sorts of risks while doing OLD, you women in the UK are very lucky to have Clare's law at least, we unfortunately have nothing like that in Ireland, they could be abusers, they could be married, they could be rapists, they could be all sorts of things and any time we choose to date we are potentially at risk, and on top of that there's people who try to tell us that we're not even allowed to choose only people that we're attracted to, give me a break 😂

As @InterIgnis just said, dating is not an equal opportunities endeavour and no one is owed a turn!

I'm 5ft 9 and I definitely notice this. I'm not any taller than that as I've been measured twice by medics over the past 6 months or so. So men claiming to be five eleven and are more like my height I know for a fact its untrue.

A lot of men do add a bit on in my opinion. Having said that, I'm not overly precious about height and it doesn't bother me at all if a man is a similar height to me because expecting everyone to be tall is a bit unrealistic.

Well that says more about you doesn't it, you're the one judging based off height, not me.

I'm not judging just wondering why he hadn't been snapped up yet...but there could be a few reasons for that I suppose. I just don't think women can be that shocked when a guy turns up and he's not some 6 foot Adonis...because what are the chances? Anyone like that is highly desirable and should have no trouble attracting women unless there's something else going on. If it's because he has zero social skills whilst being 6 foot and gorgeous then you're welcome to him!

No one is telling you to not date who you want, they're just saying don't dress it up as some sort of female empowerment thing where everyone should respect you just for having a preference.

I wouldn't just be with someone because of their appearance. I need a genuinely nice person and someone who is emotionally intelligent.

No one is telling you to not date who you want, they're just saying don't dress it up as some sort of female empowerment thing where everyone should respect you just for having a preference.

No, people repeatedly try to shame women for this by labelling them as shallow etc, many also condone men lying about height etc because it's apparently the only way they get dates, even though that's not true, so people very much are trying to tell women what to do, and telling men it's fine to override what women want, if she only wants a tall man but you want to go on a date with her, then just lie!

It is female empowerment to not be shamed into ignoring our own preferences and to call out this bullshit.
A couple of years ago on threads like this many women wouldn't have defended their choice because the other voices were so loud and it was just a pack of sheep saying 'it's so shallow', the other voices still are louder but now more and more women are happy to say 'Actually I'm allowed to have a preference', and that's a good thing, for women and for girls.

Everyone should respect that people have preferences, if you don't then that's a you issue and only says something about you. It's literally as simple as understanding that most people need a certain thing to be physically attracted to people, whether it's that they're tall or have a pretty face or handsome face or whatever it is and then going oh ok and accepting it as a fact of life and moving on with your day and that's it.

@Sunshine386
Who's expecting everyone to be tall?

Everyone is entitled to their preferences, and no one is entitled to anyone else's time or body - period. You want what you want and that's ok. Lying is a huge red flag which would not be ok by me - I think you're well within your rights to walk out based on that alone.

However if someone talks about specific body types giving them the "ick" or being "gross", or talks in derogatory ways about people whose bodies don't fit their preferences, or treats them as lesser people because of it, I would filter them out as friend material, and certainly would never date them. Shit happens in life, our bodies and attractiveness (and our attractions!) will change over the years - I want ride or die, people who love me even when and even if, not only if.

And as a big-breasted woman myself, men who state a loud and high value on big boobs as a must IME are almost universally creeps who think big boobs = porn star sex object ready and available to use and abuse. That's a run, don't walk away in my book.

That is interesting and could explain a lot. It definitely doesn’t seem to be like that in RL, I agree. My BF is 6ft, her DH is 5’9”.

I wouldn't just be with someone because of their appearance. I need a genuinely nice person and someone who is emotionally intelligent.

Yeah and that's what the vast majority of other women want too-how big do you think the pool of men that are attractive, 6ft+, nice and emotionally intelligent is? And why would they need to do OLD if they're that much of a catch? I just think some people have unrealistic expectations, but that's fine as long as you accept you'll be waiting a long time for Mr perfect.

I think it's a small pool!

Just like in real life when the height preference isn't that big of a deal for many, I'd also argue that emotional intelligence isn't a dealbreaker for many either, many might say they want that, but they still stay dating men even when red flags show up early on, it often isn't relationship ending at all. And unfortunately there are plenty who are only used to toxic relationships who are unfortunately drawn to emotionally immature men, so it's certainly not the case that most women go for the same men at all.

Yes the pool is smaller and people could be waiting a long time, but I think most people who know exactly what they want (or need in a relationship) know that themselves, so there's nothing unrealistic about it