to report every man who lies about his height on hinge

[PoliteEagle]

i've really had enough of it. Had another hinge date this week where the guy claimed to be 5'8. He was 5'5 at most, more towards 5'4. I reported his profile to hinge for lying about the height. How they expect to build a relationship on lie, I dont get it

If you've had a bad experience in the past with someone who you weren't attracted to I'm not sure that's the fault of short men. You won't be the first to start dating someone you later realise you're not attracted to (for whatever reason) I've done it too-and he was tall. No one needs to "respect" me for it. I gave it a go and it didn't work out.

Did I say that that's the fault of short men?
Do you think that by only dating men I'm attracted to that I'm somehow punishing short men because I blame them?
Or what do you mean??

Respect womens choices means that you leave them to their choices and stop trying to tell them what they should or shouldn't do.

Yes, you make a good point there that it increases the likelihood that those men can be like a kid in a sweet shop!

But personally I wouldn't want a man who is a 'kid in a sweet shop' type anyway. My type is tall, big cuddly teddy bear, a genuinely nice person, so that limits my options more.

We can't stop some people who are considered attractive from having so much choice. I'm considered very attractive myself so I would have plenty interested in me.

But my issue is when people have an issue with someone limiting their own dating pool according to what they want for their own relationship 😂

And when they also have an issue with other peoples dating options being limited, like there's some kind of entitlement that if Mark has 100 options then Peter also feels entitled to have 100 options, and if he doesn't then women are to blame for daring to not be attracted to him and women need to change.

No but you seem to be implying it's a massive deal that you dated someone and it didn't work out and if you've not found "the one" immediately it's some sort of tragedy and people should "respect what you've been through" lol.

We can't stop some people who are considered attractive from having so much choice. I'm considered very attractive myself so I would have plenty interested in me.

Wow, that's some confidence you've got there.

No but you seem to be implying it's a massive deal that you dated someone and it didn't work out and if you've not found "the one" immediately it's some sort of tragedy and people should "respect what you've been through" lol.

😂😂😂 That's nothing like what I said at all. I said people should respect womens choices, how do you not understand that very basic phrase. Instead you completely twist it 😂

My point was that it seems that some women who think women should give men they're not initially attracted to a chance don't seem to realise they're talking to adult women with life experience and their own dating story and who know what works for them and what doesn't, instead they offer patronising 'advice' telling them they should give other men a chance. I'm saying they probably already have.

Wow, that's some confidence you've got there.

I wouldn't call it 'confidence' but it's always been my experience.

The PP was saying that sometimes you don't always know who you're attracted to at first and it takes a while. Nothing wrong with that. It's happened to lots of women. And I know myself there are plenty of men I've thought "not my type" at first and then completely changed my mind weeks or months down the line. If that's not you and you can tell immediately by a photo and the knowledge a man is 6 foot+ then great just say that.

I wouldn't call it 'confidence' but it's always been my experience.

Men have their own preferences though so maybe you're not as highly sort after as you think. Your "tall man" is their "under 30 woman" but presumably you're fine with that sort of preference.

Yes and everybody knows that for some people attraction does grow, so why does that need to be repeated? We all understand that.

It's like mansplaining but from women.

The thing that doesn't seem to be understood is that for some if attraction isn't there initially it doesn't grow.

I actually am fine with that preference, and if his preference was for very young women late teens/early 20s I think that's gross anyway so he's definitely not the type of man I would want anyway.

@Firefly1987 Yes you are correct that there are not many men around who are over 6ft 3 especially as men seem to shrink with age anyway. I did fall in love with a 6ft/5ft 11 tall man after my divorce but he died almost three years ago so maybe i'm just finding excuses not to get involved with anyone again

YANBU OP, the amount of women falling over themselves to defend these liars is quite depressing.

I would imagine from what you’ve written is that 1 picture of him wasn’t a current picture and the rest of the 5 were more recent pictures? If that was the case, did you not think that he would look like the rest of the 5 pictures rather than picture number 1? Surely people start to look older rather than younger as they age 🤔 I would think it was common sense that if he looked a certain way in one picture but different/ older in the other pictures then you go with how he looks as he’s got older?

Yes and everybody knows that for some people attraction does grow, so why does that need to be repeated? We all understand that.

Well clearly not everyone realises if some women have never dated outside their type ever. And if they're still single then it's not a crazy idea to suggest it if their "type" isn't working for them. It doesn't seem like that applies to you, so great. I grew up with my mum and grandmother always saying things like "he's nice, shame he's short" (tho my grandfather was a mere 5'10-which would be short to some on here!) so I also thought I had to "find a taller man" in my youth until I realised I didn't care about their shallow opinions.

I wouldn't be into short men either but I can sort of see why some men are lying about their height when they are always seeing women lie too. There's no filter for them to get the type of women they want too. Just scroll in Instagram and Facebook to see the endless pictures that are totally filtered and photoshopped. If there's a filter for height, then there should be one for weight, photoshop, filter and body count.

Great, so you had your mind changed, because it seems like for you it was only influenced by what your mother and grandmother said.

For others, we are literally going by our own bodies response, we weren't influenced by others opinions....so therefore other peoples opinions or 'advice' are not going to change anything.

Great, so you had your mind changed, because it seems like for you it was only influenced by what your mother and grandmother said.

And the rest of society, until I realised it was total bullshit.

For others, we are literally going by our own bodies response, we weren't influenced by others opinions....so therefore other peoples opinions or 'advice' are not going to change anything.

Then it simply doesn't apply to you and you can scroll on by. Why the need to get so offended about everything.

Deleted

Are you a short man by any chance? 🧐🤓

God this OP is depressing. My absolutely gorgeous son is in his late teens and he's definitely stopped growing (he had paediatric endocrinologist appointments, they confirmed via x-ray that his growth plates have fused) and he's 5'3". Every mother thinks her son is beautiful, obviously - he really is. He's also extremely intelligent, articulate, compassionate, and deeply interested in the world around him.

He tries hard not to let his short height get to him. DH and I casually highlight the achievements or obvious attractions of short men in the media, or whom we know. We tell him that a decent and worthwhile woman doesn't give a shit about height, that only shallow people really care enough about the height of their partner that it could become a dealbreaker.

Obviously everyone is allowed to have their own type, but I think it's really sad to see that some women would just rule a man out merely on the grounds of their height.

Lying about your height is far more unattractive than being short.
It’s odd though as there are lots of physical attributes that you can disguise but men cant hide their height.

Is it similar to people who put very heavily filtered images or years old images up. Some look 20 years different.

You don't need to try to put other people down in order to big someone else up. Do you tell your son that he should give every girl/woman a chance whether he's attracted to them or not in order to be a decent/worthwhile and not shallow person.

Your son, like pretty much everyone out there will have something that is a dealbreaker for him, it might not be overly specific, it might just be that he has to think they're pretty, that means he's also instantly ruling out other women that he's not attracted to, would that make him shallow and not a decent person?

I hope you don’t encourage him lying about his height to prospective dates like that guy did

Why would she do that? She's already pointed out that her and dh encourage him to appreciate the qualities of other short statured men.

Its absolutely fine to have height preferences, but it's no wonder so many women complain about the terrible treatment they get from men when they are the same women constantly telling men, and especially young men who are still forming their worldview, that nobody will ever want them because of a physical feature they have no control over.

Listen to what you're saying please.....

You seem to be implying that women daring to have a preference is why they're being treated terribly from men.

Your views are incel-like.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with women only dating men who they are attracted to.

It's the people who say 'oh those women are just shallow and not deserving' who make it worse, they demonise women for not being attracted to some men, tell men that they're better than those shitty women (even though the man is allowed to choose who he is attracted to so what's the difference). These men are actually hearing 'oh those women think that you're less than', which isn't the case at all and actually fuels the complex rather than helps it. These boys/men would be a lot better off if people would just say, it's ok for people to only want a partner who they are attracted to, you are the same yourself and want someone you're attracted to, there is no difference. Some women only like tall men, some women only like shorter men, there's people out there for everyone.

Yes that’s what shocks me the most. Women telling another women that they are being shallow for having preferences.

imagine a man posting on men forum that he rejected woman who was 10pounds fatter than her pic or that he is attracted only to slim women. How many men will call him a shallow? Zero. Men feel very entitled to their preferences.

Good grief.
How appalling that some women dare have sexual preferences.
We are not living in the Middle Ages.