To think working parents get more workplace sympathy than single, childfree staff who are expected to pick up the slack?

[PlainTealCrow]

Parents get flexibility and understanding when life is hard. Childfree staff? Expected to stay late and cover gaps. AIBU to think this double standard is rarely acknowledged?

Maybe it depends where you work but my own experience on the whole has been quite the opposite really. Parents are expected to work as if they haven’t got children and are often refused any flex/understanding because “you chose to have kids”.

Now you're not even asking questions that haven't been done 1000 times and you've skipped the default misogyny which usually makes the threads more exciting for you (you should have accused working MOTHERS of slacking).

2/10 for frothability.

I think it is workplace specific but it is definitely the case in a lot of places that leaving work to attend childcare related things is more acceptable than any other reason.

A few few weeks ago my boss had a tantrum because I left work on time to attend an event. The event started at 6:30 pm. My work hours are nine till five. But he still threw a tantrum and said I should’ve put it in the team diary because he tried to call me and he couldn’t get hold of me. I am sure if I was at home looking after the children at 6:30 pm he would not have wanted me to put that in the team diary to let people know where I was. I also find it is worse in the UK for this or maybe I have been unlucky. In Oz, they had a much more progressive view on it.

Are all these threads just one person? They're so tiresome now

IME a lot of people think they are the ones being maligned for whatever reason, regardless of the actual truth.

I mean that’s fair though. The employer is employing people to do a job. If a parent wants more workplace flexibility they should seek it.

well, that hugely depends where you work. Finding an employer who shows flexibility to parents is really hard.

Our of curiosity, what flexibility is afforded to parents in your workplace which you don't get?

Can you give some examples OP?

Yes. Deleted several times.

Quote didnt walk but yeah, likely same poster plopping.

To be honest, I think we'd all be happier if we helped each other.

People who are single and childfree may also have significant caring responsibilities (such as elderly parents or family members). They can also have domestic emergencies and dont have a partner to share responsibility, So if you need a day off and your employer had an inflexible leave policy there is a temptation to take a "sickie" to get around (say) staying off for an emergency plumber.

I agree with @Lollytea655 , most parents I know are expected to work like their children don't exist. I have used AL in the past to be at home with my sick children.

I'm 41 and I've been in the corporate world for 20 years and I'm childfree by choice (not that I've ever shared that at work) and this is not something I've experienced even 1% of.

I don't need as much time off at short notice as my colleagues with kids (for sickness or childcare crises), as I have no dependents. But if I did need time off, I'd be given it gladly by my manager.

My colleagues with kids manage their time amazingly well to fit their workload into a part time week. Because they never offload work onto me or others, I always make it clear I'm available to help should they need it.

For holidays, I only ever want to go away during term time, when it's cheaper and quieter, so no problems there. And I've never struggled to take christmas off (we're often the hosts).

I pick up the slack for a colleague who is regularly off sick. It's called being a human and working together.
Join us.

On the contrary, working parents but mainly mums are treated with utter disdain. Thank god for the equalities act because getting pregnant would be a sure way to be sacked.

Work places need to be brought in line with childcare commitments so that working parents aren’t being fleeced for their money, time or sanity.

My team at work picks up for each other all the time and we've got a wide range of circumstances. It's not based at all on whether someone has kids, and everyone's home life carries the same weight. If you're feeling resentful because something is imbalanced, it's an employer problem and you should raise it with them.

also, I find that working mums feel pressure to proof themselves. I my workplace, they are some of the hardest workers, come in sick when many others would just stay at home. I have to take annual leave when my children are ill, so nobody has to work extra because of me and when I need to collect them early for whatever reason, I am expected to work the time back the next day.

Three things come to mind OP

Firstly everyone starts out childless unless they are a VERY young parent - so I did my share of 7pm finishes before I had my ds in my 40s.

Secondly, you can always say no. Invent a dependent elderly relative or an unreliable bladder brought on by tiredness. Or talk to your union. Or grow a spine.

Thirdly, 25% of women are discriminated against by employers if they dare to get pregnant or have children. I was 'made redundant' first morning back after maternity leave. I was the only person made redundant. It took me a year to drag them to a tribunal, during which I was regularly threatened. Come and join in all the fun !!

In my workplace people with children and people with elderly parents get more flexibility with time off for emergencies, or some set hours.
But nothing for holidays.

The arguments go:
people with children expect all the flexibility
or
mums should not sit at home, they should go to work like everyone else and contribute.

Its a lose/lose situation.

what is lose/lose about given staff with dependants more flexibility? @Coatsoff42 ? Isn't that a good thing?

Isn’t there a special childfree board on here now? Can’t you go and hang out there and bewail how dreadful and entitled parents are?

Jealous whinging. Always a good look OP.

As a parent, I actually agree. My work capacity has dramatically decreased since I've had children. My progression and learning opportunities impacted by my mat leaves. Honestly with 2 toddlers and lack of sleep, half the time my brain is mush...

It's evident that those without children do more, like I used to. But also those with older children (and those who cope better than me!), I think it's just a phase.

But my role is specialised l, so my performance doesn't impact anyone but myself (and my direct reports but I try my best to prevent that).

The opposite in my job. The other person that shares my job is a white male in his 50s who is absolutely unashamed at leaving early every day (leaving work unfinished for the rest of the team) as he needs to get home for his dog who has anxiety.

I’m not joking.

The very odd occasion I have rearranged my day so I could leave ON TIME (not even early, just not stay late) - for example working through lunch- so I can pick my kids up by 6pm and it’s met with eye rolls. (No one else has children)