To think working parents get more workplace sympathy than single, childfree staff who are expected to pick up the slack?

[PlainTealCrow]

Parents get flexibility and understanding when life is hard. Childfree staff? Expected to stay late and cover gaps. AIBU to think this double standard is rarely acknowledged?

The ability to WFH and/or come in late and leave early absolutely are examples of flexibility though, regardless of whether you are doing the same amount of work, unless everyone in your workplace is entitled to do that? I very much doubt that someone without kids would be looked upon favourably for asking to come in at 10 and leave at 4.30 even if they said they would log on at night. Also, it is extremely unfair to always prioritise parents for leave over school holidays. I have two kids so I know it’s a hassle but it’s things like this that make people think that parents are prioritised / get more sympathy / more flexibility etc.

I should have also added that the flexibility is open to all. While im at the school run childless employees are welcome to go to appointments / visit their parents / to a gym class. Our flexible working policy is for everyone

That doesn’t happen in my place of work.

I have never worked in a place where parents got preferential treatment for Xmas leave. Nor in the Summer. It's absolutely not the norm.

where does the poster suggest that parents don't do their job. Flexibility doesn't mean not working, it usually means a slightly different working pattern but still working all your hours. Why do you feel the need to sweat?

If parents wouldn't do their job, nobody would employ them. You obviously have a chip in your shoulder about something but there is no need to be rude.

I’m retired now but I think it was the opposite. One boss openly stated that he thought working mothers were unreliable, and the way he spoke about me, it made my family sound like the bloody Waltons! I ended up having to take him to tribunal for disability discrimination, and during the course of the investigation for that he said that I was always “taking time off for her kids” - I had one child, and the only time I left work was when she broke her arm at school.

For my single friend it took SIX appointments to fix a leak from the toilet Housing association some of you wont be surprised to learn Good job hes retired. As he pointed out to them if he was still working it would have been a disciplinary at best and a sacking at worst.

Honestly anyone who works somewhere where they are expected to stay late and finish OTHER PEOPLE’S work who have left- and they actually do it- are such massive MUGS they should be embarrassed to tell anyone about it.
Grow a back bone wimp. They’re probably the kind of person who will crack one day and murder everyone in the office.

Good.
Disconnect emotion for a moment...

Societally speaking, those with no children benefit massively from the labour and hard work of parents.

We aren't indipendant people capable of existing on our own. We exist because of the support and care of the last generation of parents and we all get to live and grow older in a functioning world because of the next generation of parents are going to provide the people that keeps society going when we can't.

unless you were born in a cabin in the woods with no one around you, then you have other parents to thank for the hard work of raising the people who keep the world around you running.

So yeah, given that parents get very little back as it is for such an essential task and effort of labour. I am quite happy with them getting a few bits of benefits or preferencial treatment here or there.

(Also I know some people can't have children, I'm sorry for them, it is sad, and obviously not their choice to not contribute to the next generation directly, but it doesn't change the fact that their life is supported by the parents in our society)

(Also I know some people can't have children, I'm sorry for them, it is sad, and obviously not their choice to not contribute to the next generation directly, but it doesn't change the fact that their life is supported by the parents in our society)

Im child free by choice so i suppose in your eyes i havent contributed to the next generation. Now.............have you ever heard the saying The world doesnt owe you a living. It was a saying that was used a lot years ago and is sometimes still used today.

Now .................if the world doesnt owe me a living why do i owe the world a child?

I don't believe anyone has remotely suggested that, just pointed out a reality that we have experienced.

Yep same. We have flexibility but within the context of always needing to have phone cover and have someone physically in the office - we work it out between ourselves. Sometimes I have to do the school runs on a day I wouldn't normally, so someone else will make sure they're in for 8.30am. I will cover another day when they want to leave early to meet a friend, or have an appointment, or want to come in late after a weekend away, or whatever. It should be the norm where possible. It doesn't matter at all what anyone wants the flexibility for.

Societally speaking, those with no children benefit massively from the labour and hard work of parents.

Oh Fuck off with this old rubbish. The tax I pay ( the equivalent of the uk average salary) pays for the medical care you received while pregnant, the birth of your child, and their education.

And the work I pick up to cover colleagues who are parents. And the unpaid overtime I work in the education of your children.

Statistically speaking, parents with children are nett takers from the social system. Working people who are not parents are nett contributors.

So bugger off with such an unbalanced opinion.

The whole concept of 'net takers' and 'net contributors' is some Linkedin bullshit.

It's an unpopular view on here but I think some people's circumstances mean that they should be given more flexibility and understanding. Having caring responsibilities (whether for children or an elderly/sick relatives) is a valid reason so extra consideration IMO.

A parent can hardly refuse to collect their sick child from school because it's 'not fair' on their colleagues 🤷‍♀️.

I think it depends a lot on who you work for, the business needs, and then individual managers. I grew up on a farm, and no one went away in the summer, because it was harvest, just as retail staff are often quite restricted over Christmas. Some jobs have pretty set hours - school lessons, shop opening, etc. Others can be far more flexible with hours. Many jobs can be done from home, but certainly not all. Usually it varies within teams/departments.

There is no point me asking to WFH in my current role, because i could only do a tiny bit of the work I have to do. I cannot take leave at the same time as one of my colleagues, because between us, we provide full time cover for the service we support; we have others who can cover some of it, but because we're the only two full-timers, we have to coordinate.

There are plenty of employers who could be more flexible in terms of hours and work locations. There could definitely be better childcare provision. But flexibility is better for everyone - we don't all have children, but we might have elderly parents, pets, car break downs, plumbing emergencies, etc, which need dealing with. Some people take the piss - but however you organise things, some people always take the piss. Good teams are what counts most in supportive workplaces, regardless of whether the people are parents or not.

I'm not sure. Before I had children I was the one covering until late Christmas Eve, New Year's Eve and many Fridays, whilst others had gone home, taken annual leave or gone off sick.

Fast forward to becoming a parent, still the same despite wanting to pick DC up from nursery. Holding the fort whilst both younger staff and empty nesters, had long gone.

Flexibility at work is a good thing, but it depends on the role whether that is going to affect colleagues or not. In some jobs it will make no difference because the work can be completed later in the evening or whatever. In other jobs, an employee being allowed to start late or leave early means that others are having to work harder in more stressful conditions to get the work done when it needs doing and any service users just have to put up with a slower service. The former is fine, the latter is not.

Tbh, the colleagues I resent covering for are not the parents but the ones who are just generally crap at their job. The people who need to be directed to do every little thing instead of paying attention, the ones who do the least and only just meet basic standards instead of making the effort to do their job well. These people that are carried by others usually claim mental health problems or ADHD so employers are afraid to sack them. If employers can’t support employees with conditions that affect their work output without over burdening their colleagues, then they should be allowed to let them go without fear of legal repercussions.

Not in NHS.

IME working mothers get very little sympathy, where as 💫 SINGLE DADS 💫 are practically lauded as heroes.

We had a single dad of five kids at my work. No mum involved at all. He was always being allowed to leave early, and skip mandatory training sessions etc, because of his kids. Which is cool, but the single mums knew better than to ask.

One day, one of the older women said to me "isn't Darren amazing the way he looks after his kids on his own?"
And I was like "Yes, Darren is amazing, as are all single parents like Amelia and Lindsey and Sophie that also work here" and she wrinkled up her nose and looked away.

Quite right too. Their lives are way harder. I never minded working school holidays before I had kids. They will be paying your pension.

I used to work for a large county council. It was really noticeable how non parents had it worse.
CC’s are hotbeds of piss takers anyway but parents were the worse. Lots of.the higher roles were parents on job shares which meant it was never straightforward to get an answer or something sorted given the amount of child based days off, additional sick days etc.
Most of the actual work was being done by older women, strangely geeky men and youngsters.

There’s no expectation to work late in my workplace but i find the staff who use flexi the most for early finish/full flexi day are those with it children as it’s easier for them to start early to build up flexi. They usually want a flexi day to have a long weekend away or a fancy shopping day somewhere.

That's A Management problem not a Colleague problem

That's disappointing. :(