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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

What would be the one thing that put you off hiring someone?

449 replies

greyrabbits · 17/09/2025 14:26

Of all the things that would put you off giving someone a job, what’s the one thing that’s a definite no thanks.

OP posts:
Mokel · 21/09/2025 14:32

Those who refuse people because of including pronouns. How do you deal with candidates that use names that can be used by either gender? Including Alex - a friend was registered as birth as Alex, not Alexandra. Also parents are registering DC's names more with shortened/nicknames.
Other examples include
. Charlie
. Ashley
. Morgan
. Taylor
. Frankie

Those 5 names in the examples, I know/knew at least one person of each gender with that name (and spelling)

autumnsessions · 21/09/2025 15:01

Mokel · 21/09/2025 14:32

Those who refuse people because of including pronouns. How do you deal with candidates that use names that can be used by either gender? Including Alex - a friend was registered as birth as Alex, not Alexandra. Also parents are registering DC's names more with shortened/nicknames.
Other examples include
. Charlie
. Ashley
. Morgan
. Taylor
. Frankie

Those 5 names in the examples, I know/knew at least one person of each gender with that name (and spelling)

What to you mean? - candidates are treated the same regardless of sex - nothing needs to be dealt with.

Mokel · 21/09/2025 15:31

autumnsessions · 21/09/2025 15:01

What to you mean? - candidates are treated the same regardless of sex - nothing needs to be dealt with.

If someone with the name Morgan applies for a job and puts him/his or male in brackets after his name on CV, would you reject him because he put his pronouns? Over somebody with an obvious male or female name?

TheKeatingFive · 21/09/2025 15:33

Mokel · 21/09/2025 15:31

If someone with the name Morgan applies for a job and puts him/his or male in brackets after his name on CV, would you reject him because he put his pronouns? Over somebody with an obvious male or female name?

His sex shouldn't be relevant to the job, so why would he even bother doing this?

TheKeatingFive · 21/09/2025 15:34

I mean, people coped with this for many years before putting pronouns on CVs were a thing

RainbowBrighite · 21/09/2025 15:35

Getting argumentative or visibly affronted and cross when asked to develop answers in the interview.
For example :

How would you manage xxxx challenge?
I’d ask the office?
Can you explain how you may initially approach the challenge or manage the situation whilst awaiting support ?
I’d ask the office
Ok… for example there was an injury and the person affected was being crowded?
I HAVE SAID I WOULD ASK THE OFFICE FOR SUPPORT

Sadly, working with children had a number of variants of this…

Kuretake · 21/09/2025 15:46

Outsideitsraining · 17/09/2025 14:51

Tattoos, coloured hair, stating their pronouns. Any of these three would be a straight no from me.

This would be wildly discriminatory against women my age (middle age). I think pretty much all the women of my age and of my close acquaintance dye their hair!

Mokel · 21/09/2025 15:55

Kuretake · 21/09/2025 15:46

This would be wildly discriminatory against women my age (middle age). I think pretty much all the women of my age and of my close acquaintance dye their hair!

I think they are talking about hair coloured bright blue, green, rainbow hair. Not hair coloured to your pre grey colour or similar

Challenger2A7 · 21/09/2025 15:57

Nobody would hire me! I'm right-wing, but with purple hair, a nose ring and tattoos, and perfumed like Cleopatra's barge. Yes, we do exist, though people are usually very surprised at my political views. 🤔 😂

autumnsessions · 21/09/2025 16:17

Mokel · 21/09/2025 15:31

If someone with the name Morgan applies for a job and puts him/his or male in brackets after his name on CV, would you reject him because he put his pronouns? Over somebody with an obvious male or female name?

The inclusion of pronouns is something I have never seen on a cv. Pronouns are not relevant, I don’t care what sex you are, highlighting your pronouns would not result in me dropping your application but it will make me see you in a more negative way. I would think you’re potentially a pain in the butt. It’s a red flag.

Moreteaandchocolate · 21/09/2025 16:38

pickywatermelon · 17/09/2025 14:35

Not seeming to realise it’s a job where work is required - ie it’s not all about what you get from it and how this helps your own 5 year plan … it’s also what you can actually do and are willing to contribute

Lack of communication skills - clarity & preciseness vs waffle waffle waffle, answer the question I actually asked vs the one you prepped

(I hire grads)

Yes! So disheartening to interview endless shortlisted candidates who don’t have the insight to realise that we need to know what benefits they can bring to us, not just what we can do for them!

And candidates who don’t really listen to the question, just tell you how brilliant they are.

ruethewhirl · 21/09/2025 18:47

CherryLaine · 21/09/2025 13:37

someone being able to fit in to the team and get along with no drama/disruption is almost equally as important in recruitment, as much as HR would like to argue otherwise.

Pretty massive assumption that someone who states their pronouns is dramatic/disruptive by nature. As with every other stereotype, some people will fit it, others won’t.

ruethewhirl · 21/09/2025 18:48

Thinkingaboutmoving · 21/09/2025 14:02

Behaviours and emotional resilience were always listed on job descriptions and interview criteria as both were important to the roles. It wasn't about wrecking prospects but about building teams who would function well without drama.

Someone putting their gender identity and pronouns above any of that wouldn't be remotely suitable.

So you say. Do you actually know anyone who states their pronouns?

DurinsBane · 21/09/2025 21:08

OnlyMabelInTheBuilding · 21/09/2025 10:59

It’s a great filter when you’re screening CV’s though. Straight in the bin.

Well a lot of big companies now have their senior leadership and quite a few others choosing to put pronouns in their email signatures. So discarding those people straight away, you may lose a lot of very good people

OnlyMabelInTheBuilding · 21/09/2025 21:48

DurinsBane · 21/09/2025 21:08

Well a lot of big companies now have their senior leadership and quite a few others choosing to put pronouns in their email signatures. So discarding those people straight away, you may lose a lot of very good people

I am in senior leadership in a big company. My experience is that compared to a few years ago, pronouns are disappearing. Fast.

GargoylesofBeelzebub · 21/09/2025 22:39

Mokel · 21/09/2025 14:32

Those who refuse people because of including pronouns. How do you deal with candidates that use names that can be used by either gender? Including Alex - a friend was registered as birth as Alex, not Alexandra. Also parents are registering DC's names more with shortened/nicknames.
Other examples include
. Charlie
. Ashley
. Morgan
. Taylor
. Frankie

Those 5 names in the examples, I know/knew at least one person of each gender with that name (and spelling)

I don’t really understand the question. Why would I need to know their sex? What difference would it make?

GargoylesofBeelzebub · 21/09/2025 23:16

StevieAnnSENMum · 20/09/2025 08:28

Is that meant to be directed at me?

If it is, here is my response: I am more than capable of doing a job and getting along with people who have opposing views to me, as long as I don't feel like I'm being put in danger by their views.

But my tattoos, hair colour and sexual orientation/pronouns are part of who I am. They are part of my identity, for a multitude of reasons. They're specifically saying they wouldn't hire me if I stated those things - isn't not hiring someone based on their sexual orientation or gender identity discrimination?

“Put in danger”?! Yeah this is exactly why people are wary about hiring folk with pronouns on their cv.

StevieAnnSENMum · 22/09/2025 04:49

GargoylesofBeelzebub · 21/09/2025 23:16

“Put in danger”?! Yeah this is exactly why people are wary about hiring folk with pronouns on their cv.

Yes. Because people can become violent if they find out someone is trans or gay or anything that isn't straight and white. Have you experienced the world? Twat.

NeverDropYourMooncup · 22/09/2025 07:06

StevieAnnSENMum · 22/09/2025 04:49

Yes. Because people can become violent if they find out someone is trans or gay or anything that isn't straight and white. Have you experienced the world? Twat.

There may be other reasons why you wouldn't get a job.

Being female could be one of them. As could acting as though you expect people to attack you for not liking your body when they wouldn't have a clue (and wouldn't care in the vast majority of cases).

BlueSlate · 22/09/2025 07:59

StevieAnnSENMum · 22/09/2025 04:49

Yes. Because people can become violent if they find out someone is trans or gay or anything that isn't straight and white. Have you experienced the world? Twat.

In the workplace?

No. I also have tattoos and piercings, as do the majoroty of my colleagues, and I'm a professional. I also dye my hair. But I don't expect anyone to treat me as though I'm special and neother do my colleagues. I'm not going to complain if someone looks at me the wrong way or walks out of a room when I'm in there. I wouldn't even notice. And, if I did, I wouldn't assume it had anything to do with me.

I also have gay friends who have no trouble in the workplace. And I didn't even realise some of my colleagues were gay until they came up as people I might know on fb. Not because they're scared or in danger but because it's not something they announce about themselves.

In many people's experience, stating pronouns indicates that this is a very special, extra sensitive person who will view the world, their workplace and their colleagues through a very narrow lens in which everything everyone else does is directly related to that person. Everything is either validating or invalidating. Makes them feel safe or unsafe. When no one else goes through life thinking that and no one else is really giving any thought to that person at all.

Well, with the exception that we all have to use very special words around this person for fear of upsetting them and no one has time for that when they've got a job to do.

The 'danger' felt is very often little more than others not recognising someone's super specialness. The violence is very often little more than using the wrong word.

And if that perception is inaccurate, you have the very vocal members of your own community to thank for that because no one else really cares.

GargoylesofBeelzebub · 22/09/2025 11:18

StevieAnnSENMum · 22/09/2025 04:49

Yes. Because people can become violent if they find out someone is trans or gay or anything that isn't straight and white. Have you experienced the world? Twat.

I have several decades of working with people of all colours, sexualities and identities sweetie.

Your hyperbole is only reinforcing the opinions of people who don’t want to hire those with pronouns as they will bring trouble.

TheKeatingFive · 22/09/2025 11:22

I cannot imagine a situation where people might become 'violent' in the workplace on discovering their colleagues are gay or trans. Violent? Where are these workplaces?

Violence against another member of staff, regardless of the reason, is surely gross misconduct and instant dismissal, no?

GargoylesofBeelzebub · 22/09/2025 11:22

StevieAnnSENMum · 22/09/2025 04:49

Yes. Because people can become violent if they find out someone is trans or gay or anything that isn't straight and white. Have you experienced the world? Twat.

Oh and I would report your personal attack at the end there, but I think it’s better left up so people can see exactly what you are.

OnlyMabelInTheBuilding · 22/09/2025 12:31

StevieAnnSENMum · 22/09/2025 04:49

Yes. Because people can become violent if they find out someone is trans or gay or anything that isn't straight and white. Have you experienced the world? Twat.

Exactly proving the point about pronoun people here.

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