Is this ignorance or just 2025?

[Andonemorething25]

We live in a posh bit of the SE . He’s been to a top 10 Uni. It’s not an Exeter/ Durham type place though and he’s nerdy not sporty.

He’s been invited to a black tie event. I asked him if he had a DJ and he didn’t know what that was. He thought it just meant wear a black tie.
Turns out he has never worn a dinner jacket or been to a posh do.
As a rural child of the 80’s it was just something that happened at the end of every year.. , Young Farmers, Secondary School, College, Rugby, Uni. Grew up with James Bond etc
Is he just actually a bit odd or is it not a thing anymore?

How old is he?

I don't think I went to any black tie events before I was at uni. I don't think it's that unusual tbh.

I know what a black tie event is ,I have never been to one though
I trained as a nurse though so whilst affiliated to a university it certainly Wasent a Russell group( only ever mentioned on mumsnet)
Different people have different experiences.

He’s 22.
I’m just a bit taken aback. I just assumed he would know what black tie meant. It’s fairly mainstream. How does he not know?

I'm 50 and don't really know exactly what "black tie" clothes would be.
🤷

I wiuld be more surprised if a typical 22 year old did know ( outside of the world of mumsnet of course)

I didn’t know until I went to uni where there were lots of black tie and some white tie events. If he didn’t have any interest in those sorts of events at uni, I can easily see how someone would not know what it meant. I don’t think it’s mainstream, I think it’s pretty niche actually to a certain social demographic.

He's 22. Chill. Pass him the Debrett's, lol.

I’m pretty sure my 18-year-old son wouldn’t know what DJ meant in this context. We live in a ‘nice’ part of a major UK city, although I wouldn’t necessarily call it posh.

I am actually trying to figure out what the "DJ" means in this.
It's not the guy doing the music...but what?
Edit : oh wait...Dinner Jacket 😂

Dinner jacket

Yeah.... I was a bit slow.
(Hello fellow Lego fan 👋)

Although I’m a lot older than 22 and think I’ve only ever been to one black tie event - they really weren’t very common when I was growing up. I only know what a DJ is because that was what all the boys / men were constantly reminded to bring for orchestra concerts!

Who is the 22 year old? Your son? Your boyfriend?
I dont think its unusual to not know about formal dinner wear at 22 if its not been part of his upbringing

He didnt know the phrase, now he does.

I don't think it's a big deal. There will be things he knows that you don't.

I doubt most 22 year olds would know, it’s something you would go to for a charity event or a fancy party - not something the typical teen is exposed to unless they go to a very fancy school/uni.

Who is “he”?

If you called it a tuxedo he might know what that is.

Because if everyone knew everything think how shit a pub quiz would be!

Who are you talking about, your son? If so, why haven’t you told him what a DJ is?

Dinner jacket and bow tie for men, dressy (usually long) outfits for women.

I wouldn't have known DJ meant dinner jacket
I'd have thought DJ as in music

But is that "nice dress from M+S" or a dress like they wear at the Oscars?
(what exactly is a dinner jacket?)

I think you're odd phrasing the post like this

Urgh the snobbery in your post op. He'd only know what black tie is if he'd been exposed to those kind of dos growing up, which it sounds like he hasn't. That doesn't make him odd

I went to balls and black tie dinners a lot as a young adult but my father was in the military and so perhaps it was more a thing...plus we did have balls at (boarding) school and uni (graduated mid 90s).

My now uni students/young adults haven't really been to as many black tie events - their (state grammar) does a 6th form ball after A levels which is black tie, but that's about it. DS1 is at Oxbridge and so has been to May Balls and formal black tie dinners/events but DD (RG but neither of the one you mention) doesn't really have black tie events.

I think it's probably a sign of the times...generally people are less formal in their dress and mores nowadays??