Is this ignorance or just 2025?

[Andonemorething25]

We live in a posh bit of the SE . He’s been to a top 10 Uni. It’s not an Exeter/ Durham type place though and he’s nerdy not sporty.

He’s been invited to a black tie event. I asked him if he had a DJ and he didn’t know what that was. He thought it just meant wear a black tie.
Turns out he has never worn a dinner jacket or been to a posh do.
As a rural child of the 80’s it was just something that happened at the end of every year.. , Young Farmers, Secondary School, College, Rugby, Uni. Grew up with James Bond etc
Is he just actually a bit odd or is it not a thing anymore?

Needmorelego

Same here, thought the op was asking if he needed someone to spin some discs!!

I wouldn't know what 'black tie' means, precisely, without looking it up. Frankly, that type of thing is meaningless to a lot of people. Just an arbitrary set of rules that have little bearing on your life unless you move in circles where they are thought to matter.

I think it's perfectly reasonable for someone of any age to not have had to learn silly dress codes. What's the problem?

There is something a little bit Alan Partridge about being surprised that a young person doesn’t know what a ‘DJ’ is

I'm around double his age, been to two universities (including a "red brick") but never been to a "black tie event".

School proms hadn't caught on, my student union didn't do a graduation ball in my year due to finance issues and my post-graduate course didn't do a graduation or ball for my course. It's not something that I've needed to go to in my line of work, and DH's aren't open to partners.

I'm aware that I would need to wear an evening dress, but would need to check the finer details of what would be expected.

I grew up in a middle class home in a small town and went a top london uni (born in 80s).

I did not know the term "DJ" or dinner jacket until i met DH (from very plummy background). I would have known what james bond wore as a tuxedo, and no one i knew owned one. We did not go to any black tie events. There was a "ball" in 6th form but the boys just wore any dark suit.

In a way I am glad he did not know. It's the kind of socialising I would do a lot to avoid.

- A tuxedo is more an American expression. I thought a DJ in reference to a black tie event was obvious in the UK.

From DH and his circle, knowing it as a DJ is very much the norm among the home counties moneyed class/public school sort of thing. It really isn't in common parlance among other folk.

Op are you from surrey, sussex or essex by chance

Yeah I didn’t know until I went to uni.

school proms etc aren’t black tie.

i’ve always know it as DJ, and would know what a black tie event event was.

Tux/tuxedo was the American phrase.

I did go to Durham and there aren't half as many black tie events as you'd think. The dress code for formals at my college was lounge suits or a midi or maxi dress/jumpsuit. Half the colleges were the same, but you wore your gowns on top. End of year ball was optional and expensive.

I only started having to shop for black tie dresses in my late 30s for an annual dinner at a finance conference and yes, I did have to google!

I'm 63 and I have never been to a black tie event.

Dinner jacket is a very outdated term.
Tuxedo would be more familiar with younger folk.

We wore them a lot at uni 15 years ago. Did he not have prom? That was black tie at our (state) school and probably the first time most of us wore black tie which was age 16. Do kids not do that now?

I know that a DJ is a Dinner Jacket, but I've no idea what one looks like, or how it differs from any other jacket. I was unaware that a tuxedo is the same thing, and wouldn't know what one of those looks like either,

This is MN so more likely Dear/Darling Jacket

I’m 50 and not posh. The only black tie event I have been to was at university. No work event was ever black tie. None before I went to university. I think a typical 22 year old doesn’t know what a dinner jacket is.

It is certainly gone more casual over the years. Our Christmas do at work now is a hoodie and jeans event.

I'm in my 60s and I've never been to a black tie event. And I've been to university twice. A DJ is the person spinning the records 😎🎶🤘

My kids know because their school leavers ball aged 18 was black tie. We live in London if that makes a difference. I can’t believe you have posted this; I would not waste a single brain cell worrying about it!

Different people have different experiences. I remember the priest tying one of the groomsmen's ties at my wedding in the 80s. He had never worn one before that needed to be knotted. He was in early 20s.

How did you find out?

Did you think that at the age of 22 he had bought himself a dinner jacket? Really? Surely you would know if he had one. Surely you would know, too, if he had been to events like that.

🤣

I'm 58 and have never been to a black tie event in my life.
It wasn't a thing where I grew up and there weren't balls, formals or anything similar by a different name at my uni.

It doesn't seem at all odd to me that a 22 year old wouldn't know about dinner jackets.

Something a bit mean-spirited about this. OP starts a thread asking if "he" is a bit odd. Who's "he" - the cat's mother? I gather it's your son?

I'm 46 and if you asked me if I had a 'DJ' for an event, I'd be wondering why you thought it was my responsibility to supply the entertainment. . I also went to a 'good' uni, not Exeter or Durham either, nearly 30 years and still struggle to unravel the mysteries of terms like 'smart casual'.

I don't think it's that surprising that a young man of 22 hasn't been to a black tie event yet.