Is this ignorance or just 2025?

[Andonemorething25]

We live in a posh bit of the SE . He’s been to a top 10 Uni. It’s not an Exeter/ Durham type place though and he’s nerdy not sporty.

He’s been invited to a black tie event. I asked him if he had a DJ and he didn’t know what that was. He thought it just meant wear a black tie.
Turns out he has never worn a dinner jacket or been to a posh do.
As a rural child of the 80’s it was just something that happened at the end of every year.. , Young Farmers, Secondary School, College, Rugby, Uni. Grew up with James Bond etc
Is he just actually a bit odd or is it not a thing anymore?

More like Oscars than M&S but not quite that posh (or outlandish).

In answer to the OP, I don’t think it’s that weird not to know! Especially at only 22.

I'm in my late 70s . I kind of knew what a black tie event was, and what a DJ was. But to be sure,I'd have to Google, and I sure as hell have never needed to google, cos I've never been invited to such an I event, not would I care to go to one.

More floor length evening gown than dress from M&S (unless they do that kind of thing now, I only tend to buy school uniform, pants and tights there)

I’ve never in my 40 years been to a black tie event and I wouldn’t know what a ‘DJ’ beyond the person in charge of the music. I’m intrigued at the idea that anyone who went to a top uni would automatically be familiar with that. We didn’t all spend our degrees attending rugby balls or whatever.

There are plenty of posts on here trying to work out what is black tie suitable, so he's hardly alone.

I'm 46, never been to a black tie event. I'd know what it meant for a man and I'd pick out a dress I was happy with but I don't know for certain it would be considered black tie equivalent.

We had formals at university but they weren't black tie.

You don't have to attend them to be aware of them though.

I don't think people call them a DJ any more, OP. Maybe if you'd said tux / tuxedo he might have known what you meant.

Oops. Quoted the wrong post. Was meant to be this one.

I thought I had! Or the information had just passed on. It’s not unusual where I live.

Re a PP - A tuxedo is more an American expression. I thought a DJ in reference to a black tie event was obvious in the UK.

I’ve never been to a black tie event, I’m 33!!

Ok slightly reassured that it might not be so obvious these days.

I’ve never heard DJ in this context, and I grew up in a posh bit of the SE also.

Tbh it sounds like something David Brent would say.

@Andonemorething25 "DJ" to most people is the bloke in charge of the music.
(or female... obviously)

Same here 😂

This. OP just sounds like a bit of a snob.

It's purely lack of information. You don't know things you've never encountered/ heard of.

I grew up in that teeny tiny rural world of young farmers and hunt balls and rugby clubs young men who knew what black tie was and called girls totty - some of the least pleasant, most entitled, sexist, arrogant young people I've ever known. I'd be glad your son mixes with nerds (as you said he's nerdy) instead.

Why do you need reassurance on this? It's not a life skill or useful general knowledge he is missing. It's an unimportant outfit he might want to wear once in a blue moon. It's not something lacking in him to know about pretentious dress codes.

I don’t think it’s that unusual not to be interested in or aware of these things.

I don’t do dressing up (ordinary high street summer dress for my own wedding), and I don’t think my DS would have a clue either as he’s not into socialising in large groups. Didn’t attend the school debs. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Is “DJ” a common abbreviation for dinner jacket? Because it’s stupid.

Did he have a school Prom when he left? I thought that was pretty standard across schools now...

Dinner Jacket is a bit of an outdated term now, its usually "Tux".

When someone talked about a wedding being black tie about a decade ago, most of my friends (some are well-qualified professionals) thought of a literal black tie with an ordinary suit. Some older people I know say you're posh if you use the term, and common if you say DJ (they are joking).
Until quite recently, we didn't have proms etc here, and I doubt most working class people would have known the term-the only reason I did is I read a lot,

Just asked my son what he thought he would have to wear to a black tie event. He thought it meant you were going to a funeral and had to wear a black tie. He is 15. 🤣

I’ve never been to a black tie event. I’m 58, well-educated, good job, etc. I don’t think I’m unusual.

I'm early 40s and have never been to a black tie event. I wouldn't be that surprised at a 22 year old not knowing much about the concept. Presumably you grew up in the kind of environment where black tie events were frequent, while he didn't.

Do people who live in a posh area refer to it as a posh area?