Is this ignorance or just 2025?

[Andonemorething25]

We live in a posh bit of the SE . He’s been to a top 10 Uni. It’s not an Exeter/ Durham type place though and he’s nerdy not sporty.

He’s been invited to a black tie event. I asked him if he had a DJ and he didn’t know what that was. He thought it just meant wear a black tie.
Turns out he has never worn a dinner jacket or been to a posh do.
As a rural child of the 80’s it was just something that happened at the end of every year.. , Young Farmers, Secondary School, College, Rugby, Uni. Grew up with James Bond etc
Is he just actually a bit odd or is it not a thing anymore?

Surely dress and etiquette is something you cover in the family home.
We discussed suits etc. each grad season, so the boys would see the various style options.

Im in my late 30s never been to a black tie event when you said DJ I assumed you meant the person playing music and if I was invited to a black tie event id be doing some googling to find out what is and isnt appropriate

My DS25 didn’t know when I asked him. I think it’s the norm to be honest. He went to Uni but it was during Covid so no fancy do’s for any of them.

Have you ever taken him to a black tie event? Has he been seen you go to one? If not, then that explains it, surely?

OK I was completely baffled why your son didn't know what a DJ (disk jockey) was!
Now you have said you mean dinner jacket I can only assume its an outdated term for a tux.
I've been to a few black tie events and have never once heard the term DJ referring to a black tie suit. It seems like there's a big generational gap between you.

Exactly. This is such a weird thing to post about your own son. The op hasn't ever exposed him to this and is then surprised he didn't know about it.

I am 63 and don't really know what "black tie" actually involves, but I am aware of the phrase, mainly through novels and TV dramas.

What I do know is that if DH or I were invited to a black tie event, neither of us have anything remotely suitable in our wardrobes - other than the black tie DH has worn to a few funerals.

A DJ is someone who mixes music. A dinner jacket is a dinner jacket. Never heard of DJ as an acronym for a jacket and I'm old.
So no, not just the young. Must have been used very local to you OP. Maybe something just you and your friends made up?

I’m in my 30s, went to a RG uni, from Home Counties but never been to a black tie event. I don’t think it’s that common!! I definitely wouldn’t be surprised at a 22 year old not knowing. I also think a lot of people don’t follow proper black tie outfit rules to black tie events these days.

Is it ignorance?
Is it 2025?
Is it the parents?

Mix of all maybe?

Who he anyway?

This!

I’m 40 and haven’t been to a black tie event and didn’t know that DJ = dinner jacket. I haven’t just crawled out from under a rock. Plenty of people won’t know this and that’s fine.

I’ve been invited to one (a ball!) through a club one of the kids is part of. I’ve declined because I don’t have a clue what one is really, or what to wear or how to behave.

I am university educated (two post grads etc.) but from a working class background.

I was an undergrad at Cambridge of all places and went to exactly two black tie events. Never had any growing up. They just aren't particularly common outside of a very particular social circle. I'd associate them more with grey-haired men at a fancy club than anything teenagers might be involved in.

We had a couple of black tie events every year at uni (nearly 20 years ago) and tbh I think at least half the boys just wore suits.
Is a tuxedo and a dinner jacket the same thing, I remember my housemate had a tuxedo. DH I'm pretty sure wore his old sixth form suits.

Your world sounds very narrow.

Having said that, it'd be nice if there were more balls in my day to day life...the only fancy things I go to are out work Christmas party and weddings (nearly all my friends are married now sadly - for my going out)

I don’t think it’s odd that he doesn’t know. As others have said, far more young people would say Tuxedo than DJ. I also think this knowledge is really contextual. I went to a small independent school in the south west and from Y9 onwards, I attended quite a few balls. I went to a girls’ school; there was also a boys’ school in town. Each of the schools had a leavers’ ball at the end of the year. There were also Christmas balls. Outside of school, there were other balls such as the ‘Snow Ball’ every January and a later event in spring. Local charity shops did a roaring trade in secondhand DJs… but I don’t think my friends from outside school ever went to any of these events.

At uni, I went to one summer ball and my graduation ball. Some people wore black tie, but others wore lounge suits.

Your post is so confusing.

Interesting thread to read from a social perspective. I went to university in the 80s and black tie events were relatively common during that and at work events for the next few years, and even a few weddings. My friends were probably in the lower middle class bracket and buying/borrowing/hiring a DJ was the norm if you wanted to join in, just as I had a couple of reasonably posh (but very cheap!) dresses. None of us had much money - more the "nurse that pint for the entire night" group - but buying a DJ at that time was almost seen as part of your preparation for future work dos. And, we all called it (the jacket) a DJ for short - I have no idea why a PP thinks that's stupid, surely no more stupid than using it for "disc jockey"?! There were no school proms at that time. In terms of percentage of population at the time I think it was something like 8% of people went to university, and the black tie events were perhaps only generally fashionable for a few years so perhaps it's just one of those things that was incredibly common for a section of the population and unknown to the rest. The word tuxedo was very definitely non-British English until the noughties and the rapid spread of US English I would think.

I’d say dinner jacket not DJ. My adult children know all of the correct formal dress rules. They learned them from Downtown. 😂

I don’t think the DJ abbreviation is that bizarre that you could say her friends made it up 🤣. I’ve heard of it, and dinner jacket, and black tie, and tux, and tuxedo. I’m not in some upper class social circle! Tuxedo is more American, but the youngsters these days can be pretty Americanised in their language.

Woah, no! Not in this home. Other than 'make sure you dress smartly for a job interview' I have failed to coach my son in clothing etiquette.

Regarding the black tie event, @Andonemorething25 , I'd be wary of urging this person to go full DJ without checking what others are wearing. I'm hazy about these things (despite going to a posh university), but my best guess is that, these days, it just means that the dress code is smart, not that you need to go to Moss Bros and dress up like you were in a Hugh Grant movie

Why would young farmers equal black tie?? That is baffling to me. Young farmers here wear those outback shearing tops and 2 tone shorts, plus boots. Plus a mullet if they also play rugby

For plenty of 20-somethings, their first ever black tie event is a wedding or a work do.

Never been invited to a black tie event yet had two university stints and various jobs over forty years. Think they must be dying out a bit so wouldn't be at all surprised if people did not know this dress code let alone the DJ abbreviation.