Old-ish man on the route to the Co-op who keeps saying hello

[RogueFemale]

I moved house last week and already have noticed this man. He lives on the short (7m) walking route to the local Co-Op. He's maybe mid 60s, tall, heavy build. He is always standing outside his front door, and he loudly says hello every time I go past. I ignore him.

I'm 60 and am used to being invisible.

So it's not a leering hello. I also thought maybe it was accidental he was standing outside before, or something, and just a cheery 'local' hello.

But I went past twice today (to Co-Op) and he was there both times, hello-ing, and I'm finding it quite weird, that he's always standing outside his front door.

I'm going to be going to the local Co-Op a lot, so what do I do?

AIBU to continue to ignore him and just doggedly go past for years pretending he's not there?

Why does he need to be “normal” anyway.

As long as he’s not unsafe. Which according to the OP in her OP, he’s not.

Technically nobody owes anybody anything, but a decent society works on mutual good manners. It’s so much nicer to live in a friendly community and be friendly, rather than being scared of one’s own shadow. I depends how much you want a nice lovely life I guess.

I also think people who are rude deserve others to be rude to them (but are the first to complain when that happens)

Our paper shop is about seven minutes away, and I say a cheery good morning to everyone I pass on the way there and back, which is reciprocated. Are we strange? I do not live in the North.

It's almost like OP is secretly relishing the attention and inflating this interaction to make it seem like this man is obsessed with her.

Yes, I am fully aware I owe nothing to men, and have been punished for refusing to obey men in the past.

As for the hello man in the street, it is really a faint thing, he shouts faintly just over the road, which I ignore as I pass. I didn't notice the first trip to the Co-op, but then noticed the second time and third time, one of them a very rainy day.

Then the fourth time, oh for fuckssake.

I don't need this in my life. Men can fuck off and leave me alone.

Amusingly, this makes MN very angry.

My grandparents neighbour used to stand leaning on his garden gate for hours watching the world go by.

It's up to you if you want to respond to his "cheery local hello" interesting you say if it was a woman you'd speak! Don't really get that.

God, op, why do you feel the need to go to the bloody Co-Op every day, even in the rain?

I don't have daughters

I routinely say hi to various characters around the neighbourhood, they are usually a bit older and maybe some have a slight learning disability - but they're actually kind and friendly, and none of them has tried to stalk me yet.

There is no problem with saying hello. You can make sure it doesnt go beyond that if you feel uncomfortable.

You just say hello, I’ve got a similar older man who says hello to me every time I walk past his lovely garden that he works on all day. I say hello and smile and he smiles, what’s the issue?

This would make me feel uncomfortable, too. Whatever people are saying on this thread, it is unusual for complete strangers to randomly call out to you from across the road. I’ve never had anyone I didn’t know call hello or anything else when I’ve been going to my local Co-op!
In fact, if it was happening regularly, and it made me feel uncomfortable, I’d pretty soon find an alternative route.

How come he’s suddenly in the street??

You don’t need someone saying hello in your life?? Do you not think that’s a little dramatic?

She’d also say hello back to a transwoman

It doesn’t make me angry OP @RogueFemale - just a little sad. For both you and this man.

A smile, a nod, a cursory “morning” or just a small wave (hand up) would just acknowledge but not engage.

Try it, it might just take all the worry out of the situation.

You’ve never had a stranger say hello to you in the street?!

There is a few neighbours who like to say hello from their gardens, others while passing, it's normal around here.
Some days I feel like the Queen waving on my walk greeting people.
A quick hello won't hurt.

Lol

I think this would be best

Brilliant. 👏

Or he might decide that as she’s acknowledged him, he’ll accompany her to the Co-op one day. That’s presumably what the op’s worried about. And who’s to say it’s without foundation? What’s suddenly happened to ‘trust your gut’/‘spidey senses’/‘we have instinct for a reason’?

Many Londoners do say "hello". Especially us chirpy cockneys.

I’m really sorry to read that.

Have you (and I mean this genuinely) tried to get some help to process your trauma? Because honestly, your reaction levels are off the chart, and it doesn’t sound like a fun way to live. I found EMDR very helpful.

Obviously we all have interactions with strangers out and about, but they usually happen organically, not randomly, out of the blue. It would be very unusual in my neck of the woods for someone to say ‘hello’ when passing you in the street if they didn’t already know you. Just doesn’t happen. And I’ve never had strangers standing on their doorstep and calling out to me across the road, no!

It would be weird round these parts if someone ignored you passing in the street! Shows the breadth of cultures in the U.K. I guess