to ask you to tell us something you’d never admit IRL

[GooseAndSandals]

I’ll start with one of my less dark ones. I didn’t care when my father died.

I work full time over 3 long days so have a lot of days off. On my days off i do literally fuck all but lie on the sofa and watch TV / browse the internet (aside from cleaning the house). I feel a bit ashamed of this as I should be doing something useful but I absolutely love it and treasure my days off. I live alone mostly (just spilt with OH, DS at Uni and DD just graduated and living away) and after years of a busy house adore the solitude and peace. When I retire I fear I will just rot away on the sofa all day 😅

I have stopped all medication and screenings so I dont prolong my life.

My best friend hates her husband and has done for years..she talks about it all the time but finds reason after reason not to go. I love her but it drives me crazy..

I am reasonably certain my friend is entering into another abusive marriage but I don’t want to say anything because I’m scared she will cut me off and I won’t be able to be there when she needs me. I know she won’t listen to me now as she’s besotted.

There’s nothing I can quite put my finger on, but I can see his mask slipping. He comes across as laid back and affable but he has been very successful in a job you couldn’t do unless you were absolutely as hard as nails. He’s mid 50s, and has never lived with anyone, been married, or had kids. There’s just something ‘off’.

My GP asked if I have thoughts of self harm. I said no, but I have no thoughts towards self preservation either. I'm more concerned about my grey hair than my health. I just don't give a feck anymore.

I can't say it as it's outing but by his failing to do it, when I was the most ill and vulnerable I could be, it's like a finger up to me and our marriage as he had loads of time and plenty of chances.

He knows he has hurt me and he is being super nice but he needs to actually look me in the eye and apologise. That time has passed and I have to assume he never will for whatever reason and thus he doesn't feel about me the way I thought he did.

I feel he has shown his true colours or he loves me so long as he doesn't have to burn off a calorie.

Maybe they are brothers or father & son 🤔

I was paid to have sex with men when I was 14.

I might admit that to my therapist one day but not yet. I can barely admit to myself.

For me, it was and I do.
And that in itself is a terrible grief.

There are dozens of relationships that should never be sexual. Society would condemn most of them more strongly than it condemns infidelity, though I'm sure all of them are agonising for at least one of each pair. Unfair to poke at the PP, s/he may be trying to get around to talking to someone.

@Taztoy I hope you are OK.........have you got people in your life who are supporting you?

I love my friends kids, but they are spoilt brats who take over and they get away with rude and entitled behaviour constantly. My friends husband is a complete drip when it comes to parenting them and friend isn’t much better. As a result, I barely want to see my friend because the kids are always with her.

I'm generally pretty happy in life - love my husband, adore my kids etc.

I am overwhelmed by the thought that I should have married an old friend and didn't realise I loved him until we were both married to other people.

I am not fantasising about an affair, we are both happy where we are - but I am certain that should we ever be single again later in life we will find out way back to one another and it will be the most natural thing. No fanfare, no theatrics we will just... gently finish our story.

Are you me??

I feel exactly the same about my dad's wife. I'm in my 50s and they've been married 30 years.

She is a bullying, domineering, sanctimonious hypocrite who went out of her way to make me feel unwelcome as a teenager. She absolutely fawns over men and looks down on women.

I've tried to be nice since I was a teenager just to get a long. Now I'm a peri menopausal 50 something woman and all the anger and resentment bubbles to the surface.

My dad is a mouse of a man who never stands up to her. She has no idea that he was at our house visiting mum a week before their wedding begging mum to take him back.

I actually love this 😍

Well done James for being such a good friend.

I hated my ex but stayed with him to get pregnant via fertility treatment.

My adult DD has ADHD/autism. I feel sad when I see other mums and daughters knowing how our relationship is. I love her to bits but just wish things were different for us both.

Oh gosh. That's a pickle and a half.
What are you going to do?

I also felt some relief when my dad died (when I was a teen). I don’t miss him now at all and haven’t for a long time. Still miss my mum though and she’s been gone 25 years.

I'm so lonely and miserable.I have no friends,and no partner. Been single for years.No one wants me.I never go out except when I see my sister a handful of times a year or to go to the supermarket. I can't work due to illness and I loved working.Lost all my self worth.Feel like a burden to the people who live with me I put on a happy face so they don't know how I really feel inside.Im pointless and no use to anyone anymore.

@careerchange24 It wasn't quite like that, rather more complicated. I did techically cheat on my first husband but he was gay and we had an open marriage for mamy years, as did the man I had the affair with, who was polyamorous. I have never, in 20 years, cheated on my second husband, we have a far more conventional set up. The thing I would never admit IRL is not the affair, that was common knowledge anyway (was a workplace thing), it is that all these years later I still yearn for him in my dreams in a way I never have for anyone else.

I am not exactly "irked" with my mother, I love her and I understand her decision, but I still get a perverse pleasure out of revealing other people's lies as part of my work, as I could never tell her I knew about hers.

Why poor dog? She's not harming it. I absolutely detest my boss's dog which i have to put up with every day, the animal is completely oblivious and in no way harmed by this. Dogs are no where near as astute as people make out, you can easily fake affection and give basic care and the dog knows no difference. I'd obviously never harm it in any way, so why poor dog?

Poor her for having put up with something in her own home that she doesn't want for 10+ years.

I'm only just turned 40, but feel like I've finished. Life. Done everything I wanted and seen everything. Achieved what I wanted to in my career. Now have chronic medical issues that affect my QOL. Wish it were over tomorrow tbh.

@careerchange24 and as far as I could tell this thread was working out by being quite judgement-free. This made it interesting as people are prepared to reveal things. By making judgements of me (and my mother), "apple doesn't fall far from the tree," it ruins that dynamic. Many people have come on here with a short description of something they have done, without being questioned enough that they felt they needed to go into lots of background detail, as I just did.

Eye colour and something my Mum let slip then backtracked on.