Comments because I don’t drive

[Waolom]

I’m 28. I don’t drive. I have no children. I do not mind the fact that I can’t drive one single bit. I enjoy sitting on public transport and switching off, listening to my music, I never ask anyone for a lift or to take me xyz place. In short, my inability to drive affects absolutely nobody but myself and I’m happy.

So why on earth do (some) drivers make it such a big deal and make comments when people can’t drive? I don’t ever ask for lifts so it just frustrates me when people comment on it as if I’m putting them out. I’m not.
AIBU to be fed up of these comments?

I tend to think that those who say "oh I don't need a car" either don't travel off the beaten track much or, if they do, rely on other people for lifts..

Well I have no interest in going off the beaten track to do those things - so not driving is not an issue! If I knew you and you offered to take me on one of your excursions I'd be saying No Thanks Not My Thing

Personally, what I do is this:
I don't go to the gym (if I wanted to go it's a 5min cycle away). I run at the weekends and walk or cycle to work - keeps me fit.
B&Q does deliveries.
CAMHS is a 5 min cycle or a 15min walk for me from work as I work in the city, so can definitely visit during lunch, which actually have done as my son has ADHD. Trust me, it's quicker to cycle in the city than to drive. There is a cycle lane straight to CAMHS from my work.
If I have to take a prescription to several pharmacies, I'll just cycle. There are more than 5 pharmacies within 5 min cycle of my house. Might not take longer than driving and might actually be quicker with the traffic.

I am 48 with 2 teenagers who both either walk or cycle to their hobbies. What I can't imagine is living without a bike personally, I don't know how people do it. For example, on Sat night I went to the cinema with my 15yr old. We cycled there in 15 mins. Best way to get there as walking is obviously takes much longer and public transport probably also would have taken similar time. Would have had to pay for parking is driving and can't imagine getting the car out for a 15 min cycle. I'm glad my kids are not car dependant. I'll always encourage them to learn to drive as it's a useful skill to have, but it's possible to live day to day without a car and hire one if needed or there are plenty of taxis where we live.

Why do you need a drivers licence if you choose not to drive? I've never had one!, not much use without driving and expensive to obtain.

I don’t find it strange people don’t drive if they live in a city centre. I find it unusual if someone CANT drive especially if they have kids and can afford to. Driving generally makes things quicker and easier and it has widened the distance I can work, it has taken me all around the world, it had opened up opportunities to my kids, it has given me wider choice of schools for them, got them to uni quickly and easily and made supporting a terminally ill partner that much easier.

I use public transport frequently too but I think if you are not a driver you don’t realise how much the world opens up to you if you have the option to drive

I mean I rarely go to the tip. Who goes to the tip that much?

The Council pick up large items of rubbish for a small fee. If I get any building work done I ask the workman to quote for disposal in the price and the WEEE directive requires any retailer who sells you an new electronical item to offer to remove and dispose of the old one.

I can see why you'd believe that if you've never drove

I'm surprised it's coming up so much in conversation but I live rurally and don't know any adult who doesn't drive so that's probably why it never comes up for me. There's no public transport at all here.

It's an invaluable skill but it's not for everyone and since you live in a city you don't need to. It's no one else's business. As can be seen on this thread, some drivers are bit like people who drink who're uncomfortable with teetotallers and have to try and browbeat them. Poor boundaries.

But there is also a bit of anti driver sentiment on this thread too - not every driver is a lazy sod who drives a short distance instead of walking. And not every driver looks down on non drivers.

"Seriously… most drivers you know regularly walk/train?" The seriously...makes it very clear you think I was making it up.

If you genuinely don’t expect lifts, then YANBU. But as someone who has acted as an unpaid chauffeur for various family and a couple of friends for years, it does get annoying. Sad to say I don’t even suggesting with meeting one friend anymore because I have to inevitably offer a lift.

The only person I happily give lifts to is my mum. She wasn’t given the opportunity to learn. I give lifts to others but try to limit them, so it doesn’t become expected again.

Wow, that's fascinating! That is one job that I didn't actually expect to be doable. I guess it might help with client boundaries because you need to be very clear upfront about parts, waste disposal and inappropriate lifting. It's going to make urgent jobs easier too because no faff with parking. There's a cycling plumber in my neighbourhood, but he has a courier's cargo bike.

I did the exact same thing! I spent my maternity leave trying to pass my driving test. My biggest regret is not learning and passing beforehand, I feel sad when I think of the maternity leave I could have had. Just to be able to walk around a national trust place with my baby would have been amazing! And definitely so scary being a newly passed driver with a baby in the back 😢

In a nutshell, not driving is fine until it isn't. Like needing to be at the hospital 20 miles away at 8am, or ferrying kids, etc.

I have a car and still prefer to walk or take public transport when I can.

I use public transport frequently too but I think if you are not a driver you don’t realise how much the world opens up to you if you have the option to drive

Why can't you see that there is nowhere in the world I can't go because I don't drive?
Where your car can go so can taxis, local guides!

Your car isn't something "magical".

I'm guilty of that @saomiguel - and I apologise, it's just the weirdness on this thread. All my friends who drive, DH etc, don't bat an eye.

One or two school mums have reacted in horror which just makes me shrug. I do think they are weird, they drive kids such short distances to school, can't understand it.

Most pensioners i know dont drive eapecially those with health issues as it would not be safe to do so (cardiac,memory problems etc) - they use patient transport to hospital apps

You’d also need to add congestion charge to driving in central London, which could another £3k pa to your commute.

But I still don't understand what use it would be, other than as a form of ID, but I have a passport for that. It doesn't permit me to do anything except drive, which is not something I want to do.

Agree, in England at least, nowhere is that far off the beaten track that it can't be done with a combination of public transport and taxis. It obviously requires a bit more planning but it's not impossible. Opens up some great point to point walks too.

I drive but I've managed to get myself to Andorra via Barcelona to start walking a section of the GR11 and got myself back to Barcelona at the end point too. Pre smartphone so must be even easier to do the research now.

Quite.

Exactly!

But being a non driver I have been careful in choosing to live with 3 miles of 2 big hospitals and several schools within walking distance!

That's what some drivers on here are not getting - we choose our home location based on local facilities and Public Transport because we will be using it.

Yep, I have a Pashley tricycle with a box on it too for up to 4 miles radius, brilliant things!

I come from a long line of electricians, when my dad started on Southern Electric in the late 50s they got given a bike, canvass bag of tools and panniers - was like that up to the late 60s.

Yes same as @BMW6. Also chose carefully as may end up staying here forever and need a town that can get around when elderly and cannot drive for e.g. health reasons.

In a nutshell, living somewhere you need a car to get around is fine, until it isn't.

I'm a non driver. I live in london, and most people who are drivers in my circle passed their test in their late twenties or onwards because they chose to when they moved to more remote locations / had children. Where I live, tip runs aren't something I've ever done, I live 5 mins from a hospital and big shops and have no need to drive (excellent transport). It is something that comes up in conversations a lot - people like to ask when I'm going to do my test because they've done it. It's a lifestyle choice and driving makes some peoples lives easier, but it's also completely normal to chose not to (as long as you aren't expecting lifts from people)

Im aware of the congestion charge. I only go in twice a week so the congestion charge would be more like 1.2k, my car is ulez compliant so I wouldn't have that cost. Petrol cost c.£13 a day. Parking I can get for c.£12 a day using various sites. Total cost c.3-3.5k a year. Like I said, much cheaper than the train. But just so stressful it isn't worth it.