Comments because I don’t drive

[Waolom]

I’m 28. I don’t drive. I have no children. I do not mind the fact that I can’t drive one single bit. I enjoy sitting on public transport and switching off, listening to my music, I never ask anyone for a lift or to take me xyz place. In short, my inability to drive affects absolutely nobody but myself and I’m happy.

So why on earth do (some) drivers make it such a big deal and make comments when people can’t drive? I don’t ever ask for lifts so it just frustrates me when people comment on it as if I’m putting them out. I’m not.
AIBU to be fed up of these comments?

But why can't he get a train, bus, or taxi?

School swimming lessons put me off learning how to swim when younger, the teacher was awful with those who couldn't swim and called me naughty like it was something I could help.

I'm open to the idea of learning but it costs money and there's always just better uses of my money.

He can, but he can’t think oh I fancy a trip to the beach and just go. He can’t go fishing without seeing if the larger taxi (one in his area 20 minutes from a UK city) is available to fit his rods in etc. it takes a lot more planning and effort. To get to me (an hour’s drive away) would be 2-3 buses and a train taking 2 hours minimum.

Not driving makes life harder, especially in emergency situations.

This thread is like people who don't have a dishwasher and are totally convinced that having one will not save time/effort.

But this is the point that you are just not getting!

Those of us who do not drive (and have more than 2 brain cells) choose to live where there is plentiful public transport and local facilities!

You have chosen somewhere that is not well served. That's your choice but your fault!

Lol I don't have one.

I don't need one. There's just me. I wash up once a day using very little hot water.

A dishwasher would make no sense to me, but you do you. I couldn't care less 😂

But the point you are not getting is you’ve limited yourself to that place and places like it. I love a 5-10 minute drive to our country park in my lunch break or a last minute “let’s head to the beach for fish and chips” in the autumn. The flexibility is different. Plus, as many mn threads show, many people don’t drive but choose to live in places not compatible with that.

Another example, we went to Greece and the bus trip for 5 of us would have been £375 to see Olympia compared to the £67 car hire we actually paid. Then we went for a drive up the coast off the commercial track. Beautiful experience.

By driving I have flexibility to live and move as I please. I’m not criticising the choice but you have to acknowledge that not driving is limiting. You may be happy with that and that’s fine.

Feel free to reply directly to me.

There’s a big difference between never asking for a lift but always grabbing one when it’s on offer. I’ve seen o plenty of threads with people annoyed about non-drivers doing exactly that.

Am I not allowed to ask questions on AIBU anymore?

If fewer people drove, there would be better alternative transport options. It would be worth running a more regular bus service if the demand was there, worth setting up a taxi firm if people regularly took taxis instead of driving.
The terrible transport infrastructure in parts of the country is a direct result of excessive car dependence. If the majority of drivers only used their cars when there were no other options there would be more alternative options.

If you're happy, you're happy. Not for me. I like to cook and see things off the beaten track.

I agree it's limiting in that there are some places we couldn't live.

But I don't want to live in those places so I don't care. I love living in a big city. It would have been tricky to find a suitable family home in central London with parking TBH so it was less limiting for me.

I can drive but hate it - I would happily spend the money on the bus trip, enjoyed looking at the scenery, reading my book etc. If I had driven, I would have got stressed out by different road rules etc.

Depending on where you live.

I would spend more time finding a parking spot and in traffic if I drove than walking in my area and why would I need to drive if everything I need is less than 20 minutes walk away. I’m close enough to the shop that I don’t have to do a big shop. I walk enough where a gym is not necessary. If I drove to work, I would have to find a parking spot or park in the park and ride and then take a bus. I would be spending money I didn’t have to.

Why are you struggling to understand that for some of us, driving is not a necessity and doesn’t make life that much easier?

@ConflictofInterest I agree completely. Although I can drive, I rarely do, and my children walked everywhere. Couldn't believe the short distances some children were being driven. Like you I really don't like cars - being a passenger even worse than driver. The need for cars is greatly exaggerated.

Yep.

I have no difficulties understanding that some people's lives would be much harder without a car.

But some drivers cannot accept that it can equally be true that that's not the case for my life

I'm not a non driver, and not naive.

I am not bothered by people who don't drive. That's their choice and fine by me. But to be fair I have stopped socialising with someone recently because she doesn't drive. She never asked for lifts to the places we went, but then she never suggested going out anywhere until after I did - and we live in a area where there is little public transport. So she didn't ask for lifts as such. She just waited until they were offered. I got fed up of that.

Sorry, I can see I must come across as patronising, addressing both in one post. Not intended. My point is that it can sometimes be hard to refuse lifts without coming across as standoffish/ungrateful when people are being kind and can't understand that I prefer to walk. I've rarely accepted lifts, but on the few occasions that I have, I've never wanted to accept. Perhaps it's the same for the people you're talking about, but if not, then everyone should just stop offering lifts. Simple.

You don't have kids, that makes it easy. I rarely used a car pre kids but I soon realised how impracticable that was once I was pregnant. Midwife appointments were 6 miles away and buses were very infrequent. Same for health visitor appointments. The nearest dentist is a 30 in drive and not on a bus route. I need the car to get the dcs to sports lessons and matches. When the train is delayed/on strike/broken down (often) I have to drive the dcs to school. I have gone from never being using a car to never not using a car. It's been eye opening. At your stage in life I also claimed not to need a car.

That's probably why people comment. They can see how limiting/frustrating it will be for you long term.

No one has to offer though. It isn't the non drivers fault if a driver does offer but then gets fed up when a non driver accepts the offer.

Don't offer if it's going to bother you that much.

This thread is so weird, none of the drivers are willing to recognise that their lifestyle choices are forcing them to have to drive everywhere.
Limiting. In a different way.

I'm in my 60s and can't drive. People think it's odd (it is unusual) but only North Americans comment on it.

@augseptoct i think a few of us non-drivers have kids.

I think the issue here is the hospital patient's manners and sense of entitlement rather than her not driving. She could have requested later appointment or if not possible paid for accom the night before.

That sounds more about where you live though and OP doesn't plan to have kids.

For me.

Midwife appointments - I planned a homebirth and all midwife appointments were home visits.

Health visitor - home visits at first and then I could pop into the local doctors for weighing clinics which was a short walk away.

Dentist - Just around the corner.

Schools - Walking distance again.

I can drive now and the only reason I learned is because my son became disabled 18 months ago and he now has a lot of appointments which are doable by public transport but easier via car due to his disability. Otherwise, I doubt I would've ever learned due to the expense alone.

I love driving. I view it as freedom, and my current lifestyle would be significantly affected if I didn't have access to a car. But, it really doesn't take much imagination to see that that wouldn't be the same for everyone. So often people cannot accept there really are completely valid ways to live a life which aren't entirely in sync with their own.

In fact, as a driver I certainly don't want to encourage more cars on the road; I'm quite happy if everyone uses public transport and leaves with with no traffic on my commute.