To feel sad some women are forced to go back to work

[JTT95]

I think it is messed up that these days a lot of women have to go back to work after maternity leave whether they like it or not. It seems like everyone is sending their babies to nursery at 1 or even earlier. I know that some women want to and are happy to go back but there are many women who are heartbroken to leave their babies so young. I wish it was like the olden days where a man’s wage was enough to suport the whole family.

I'm sorry that 25% of women are discriminated against for getting pregnant or having a child, when they want to work.

If men don’t work they are useless tbh

What was that opening line from 'Jenny from the block'? "Children grow and women producing, men go working, some go stealing, everyone's got to make a living".

As much as it angers the feminists, the reality is that men are providers, women are care givers and homemakers.

Blimey reading the last couple of posts is hilarious. Not sure I’m going to read back the ten pages I haven’t read if they’re all going to be explaining to me that the numerous female breadwinners (including myself) and male carer/homemakers I know are all a figment of my imagination or a sign of societal collapse.

No. The reality is women put themselves in a vulnerable financial position when they don’t work. We see it on here time and time again.

Thankfully no longer true as it’s no longer the 1950’s. If DH wasn’t around there wouldn’t be a drop in our standard of living because my salary can pay the bills, school fees, cleaner, foreign holidays etc.

And why not women?

You can’t imply that on Mumsnet!

Women who don’t work tend to give back to the community, if not to their own families. Men who don't work tend to focus exclusively on themselves. So worse than useless tbh

Oh. I'm sorry 🙁Should I delete my post?

I too wish that people had more choice, free time, and the cost of living was lower.

But framing it as all about the man being the breadwinner and it being terrible to put your child in nursery is nonsense.

Haha what a load of shite.
Thankfully now women have more choices and can also choose to provide financially for themselves and their family. You don’t need a penis to be able to do that.

You’re funny. That line was cringingly out of date when the song came out in the late nineties/noughties.

Bless. It’s really sweet that you think a lyric from a song by a woman who had a simultaneous number one album and film, and has fashion and beauty lines, a production company as well as an acting and music career, is some kind of constitutive proof of women’s natural place in the home.

In our house (and the majority I expect) both parents are providers, caregivers and homemakers. It’s certainly what we’ve taught DD and DS. Both parents should be equally responsible for their home and family.

Just do what you want or what you need to do. Women have different personalities and motivations in life - who knew!

There is no "should" about it.

@BluePeril

Bless. It’s really sweet that you think a lyric from a song by a woman who had a simultaneous number one album and film, and has fashion and beauty lines, a production company as well as an acting and music career, is some kind of constitutive proof of women’s natural place in the home.

I know right? Jennifer Lopez, with an estimated net worth of $400 million from a portfolio career of different showbusiness roles and you think she’s an appropriate way to make a point about women not being cut out for work… ridiculous.

Just as well you don’t work in communications.

You don’t think both men and women should be equally responsible for their homes and families?

You must be a chauvinists dream.

Don’t bother the men folk, they can’t iron or clean!

I didn't say that obviously @SleeplessInWherever. Very rigid thinking you seem to have.

I think it’s interesting how society perceives mums going back to work too.

When I had my first baby (he is now 27) a single parent would be supported to stay home on income support until the child was 12yo. Over the years this has dropped bit by bit until now the support is for a mum to work from when the baby is only 9 months and if you are out of work the pressure is there to be doing so from when the child is age 3yo.

I think that shift is reflected in the ‘you chose to have children’ attitude rather than seeing children as something that will be a net benefit to society in the future.

A lot of support for families has been reduced between me having my first and for young parents today. Child benefit is no longer universal, parents expected to work when their children are babies, two child cap on support. I think I was very lucky to have had my children when I did. I was left with four children when their dad had his affair and left. I was working term time but if the two child cap had been in place I’m not sure I could have survived on my wage and only half the help.

@Tumbleweed101 I am a parent and personally do believe it is my responsibility, alongside my husband, to provide financially for my daughter. It isn't the responsibility of the government - we chose to have her. And, as much as we would have loved another child, she is absolutely and categorically our last becuase we couldn't afford another one, even though we both work.

Of course there is - why should one parent take the burden of working each day to financially support the family. What happens if they get sick, lose their job or want to reduce their working hours.

There is no ‘should’ here either.

A couple must decide what works best for THEM. In some cases it is indeed in both parties’ interest that one of them focuses on their career while the other takes care of all the housework and childcare. This enables them BOTH to better off together than they would be otherwise.

I must be imagining the fact that I'm the higher earner and breadwinner and love providing for my family.

Silly me.