Should I stop what I’m doing to rescue him?

[Typicalwave]

My partner has gone out without his keys again and is knocking on the door. He does this every time he takes our dog gif a walk. We have a spare key in a lock box. He refuses to yse it. He thinks I should stop what I’m doing and find and let him in each time. He thinks im lazy and unreasonable to expect a man in his 50’s to take his keys or use the spare key tgat we have for incidents such as this.

AIBU to tell him to take his keys/use the spare?

YANBU.

Stick to your guns! Maybe go for a long poo or have a bath next time he goes out so you literally can't answer the door? Or go out yourself!!!!

He thinks you're the lazy one? Did he say that? I guess if you're in the house then I can see why he thinks you'd let him in but if he's suggesting you're lazy I wouldn't be helping him.

Quickly jump in the shower or bath and he will figure it out himself.

Petulant child behaviour... or is he senile and cant remember the number?

Weaponised incompetence, he’s expecting you to look after him. Useless. Next time he goes out, go out too….

Yes, I'd be doing the 'take myself out for a couple of hours when he goes out' option. He'd learn to take a key - or just use the lock box.

I would forget keys easily due to dyslexia, so I developed a leave the house routine to make sure it never happens. There's no excuse to do this repeatedly and he needs to fix it when it happens

Selective deafness or be busy elsewhere. He can stay there all day if he chooses not to use the spare key!

I feel sorry for the dog though.

I'd go out a few minutes after he has left and stay out till after you know he'll be back. That way you can't be guilted into opening the door or annoyed by the bell ringing.

Repeat till he gets it.

Actions speak louder than words. But at his age, they shouldn't have to. I feel like we are talking about a teenager.

He’s telling you his time is more important than yours. An embedded male trait of entitlement.

Nip it in the bud and do not give in.

I find the lack of communication really weird.
My normal enactment of the situation would be your partner saying" I'm just taking the dog out". And you saying " don't forget your key then".
I know he is an adult and shouldn't need reminding but if that's what it takes then surely it's easy enough to do and better than having him knocking on the door when you are busy.

Why won't he use the lock box key??

Frankly, I'd open the door for the dog and then shut him out after it's come it.

How big is your house op? 😂

He's not taking his key on purpose.

He could use the lock box if it was just a case of forgetting.

It's a form of control to let OP know she must do his bidding.

Just be aware he's the sort who would use the lock box key, put it in his pocket and forget about it. Then you're back to square one

Sorry I've just reread the OP and didn't really pick on the fact it's deliberate.

If he is refusing to take a key and behave like a reasonable adult but actually prefers to inconvenience OP then I would question what the point of the relationship is.
Why be in a relationship with someone whose go to position is to make your life difficult and deliberately annoy and upset you?

No. He remembers his keys/uses the lock box I’m not in and he takes the dog for a walk. It’s only if I’m in.
He just stood continuously knocking for over 5 minutes..

He does this kind of thing with everything. To prove a point - that his way is the correct way and I’m in the wrong.

Next time he takes the dog out go out yourself.

Good grief @Typicalwave , do you actually want to live with someone like that ? He is controlling you .

go get in the bath, nice long soak, or nip out the back door, couldn't hear you in the garden.

Dont put up with the BS, He does this kind of thing with everything. To prove a point - that his way is the correct way and I’m in the wrong.

That would drive me up the wall quickly.

What happens when you do the same?

Make today the last time, know your worth and leave this controlling manchild.

Everytime he does it, go out somewhere. Even just take the car and drive to the local garage/supermarket car park. Invent an excuse.

Do it on repeat. OR even better. Walk there (but make sure YOU take your key).

It'll retrain him. Treat him like a dog. On repeat.

And you are still with him why?

What would he do if he lived on his own, leave the door unlocked? He's an adult, surely he can manage to look after a key for an hour or so. If not, he's pathetic.