Should I stop what I’m doing to rescue him?

[Typicalwave]

My partner has gone out without his keys again and is knocking on the door. He does this every time he takes our dog gif a walk. We have a spare key in a lock box. He refuses to yse it. He thinks I should stop what I’m doing and find and let him in each time. He thinks im lazy and unreasonable to expect a man in his 50’s to take his keys or use the spare key tgat we have for incidents such as this.

AIBU to tell him to take his keys/use the spare?

@Typicalwave play loud enough music and you won’t here the door. Or decide to go out on the spur of the moment… on foot so cars still there.

does he manage to take his phone with him on walks?

Was there ever a time where you liked doing things for each other, or was it always point-scoring?

This would make be so stubborn, he can stop being lazy and either take his keys or use the lockbox.

I would tell him that you disagree with his point of you and he needs to either take his keys or use the lockbox.

I would make a point of being “busy in the bathroom”.

🤬

I think you’re missing the point of OPs frustration though.

If you’re happy at the thought of forever stopping anything you’re doing to let your DH in because he refuses to let himself in with the key from the lock box then more fool you. To me it sounds like a passive aggressive control thing and you wouldn’t find me jumping to nonsense like this!

Start wearing ear phones every time he leaves the house.
I cannot understand what some women tolerate just for a relationship.

He sounds like a total knobhead.

Is he still outside?

good god.

Don't put up with this. Leave him, it will only get worse.

Yeah, fuck that for a joke. I'd much rather be single than live with a bellend whose purpose in life is to make me 'in the wrong'.

why do you stay with him??

yes, all the boys will pick you.

IN the meantime the other posts OP has made indicate at least a mild need to control her and IME that always escalates.

People saying OP should go out to "teach him a lesson" have missed the point. The partner is quite capable of using the lock box when she is out. But when he knows she is in he stands there knocking, in a battle of wills - for up to 5 minutes until she gives in.
Dear OP you need to leave him. He is trying to control you (and seems to be succeeding so far). Imagine if he was stood there with your child in a buggy - you'd have no choice but to let them both in then.

He would be if he lived here. I'd also put the chain on the door so when he finally caves in & gets the key out of the lock box he still can't get in. I'd put my phone on silent & eventually drop a note out of an upstairs window 'I can be contacted via my solicitor on xxx xxx. I'll pop a survival bag in the doorstep in an hour IF you're not there'

Text him 'busy, use the lock box'

This wouldn't cross my mind, though I live in a small house, we often leave keys behind when going on the dog walk.
It's probably 12 steps to open the door.
If it bothers you, he should bring a key, he can attach a spare to the dog lead.
As he's controlling in other areas, that is different.

Just text him the lock box code and say “Fucking use it or stay where you are.”

Nope, I couldn't be that unkind. I'd have to let the dog in - but the bloke could stay outside.

He is either controlling or helpless. Neither are attractive traits.

I would be going out next time he does for a long shopping trip and if that didn’t fix it then ditching him
I couldn’t be arsed with that, let yourself in you lazy fucker

Time for a long bath

The issue is only when OP is in the house ! He is perfectly capable of opening the door , he is trying to control her .

He does this kind of thing with everything. To prove a point - that his way is the correct way and I’m in the wrong.

I couldn't be attracted to a man like that.

You're telling me there is a key right there that he could just use?

Lol, I'd put some loud music on and ignore him.

He's trying to break your spirit.

Yeah fuck that. Headphones and I’m having a very long bath. Especially if it’s raining
I’m not dropping everything to open a door that people can open themselves

it’s like when delivery drivers buzz and I answer and say come in, it’s open (use the bloody TRADE BUTTON) and then just stand there. Push the door, it opens!

This. Weaponised incompetence.

🤣

Both sound the same. He's doing something for the household and member of the family, you could just let him in. And he could just take the key.

Half of one situation here.