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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Single so I never go away on holiday

150 replies

JNicholson · 13/09/2025 18:03

I’m realising I’ve become completely crap, since post-pandemic made travel abroad a thing again, at booking time off for myself and actually going away somewhere. I seem to have got into an awful habit of basically just spending annual leave at home (and not even away somewhere else in the UK), sleeping late and eating crap and watching TV. Which can be enjoyable, sometimes, but it’s definitely not uplifting and it makes the whole year feel sludgey and samey and as if you haven’t really had actual holiday. I feel like one of those empty nest divorcees who says she doesn’t feel it’s worth cooking a proper meal when it’s just her. I never thought I’d be like this, but I feel like I’ve become really bad at giving myself permission to have an actual holiday. My job is stressful and full on (although I mostly wfh) and it’s so easy to go ‘oh I can’t afford to take time to actually plan and book something abroad, it will be easier to just have a staycation and then I won’t have the post-trip adjustment either, it will be easier to just go back to work’. But it’s meaning I really don’t feel like I have much of a life outside work. I kind of think how much easier it would be if I had a partner and had to go away because they wanted it. Has anyone else experienced this? How did you pull yourself out of it?

OP posts:
Chilliprawnpls · 13/09/2025 18:20

How old are you?

friends? Weekends away?

Chilliprawnpls · 13/09/2025 18:21

Also single

I take two holidays a year with my teen children
1 weekend away with friends

Chilliprawnpls · 13/09/2025 18:22

I seem to have got into an awful habit of basically just spending annual leave at home (and not even away somewhere else in the UK), sleeping late and eating crap and watching TV.

is this similar to weekends too?

any hobbies that have holidays? Ie runner? Walking? Sailing etc

SunnyDolly · 13/09/2025 18:23

I have a holiday with friends every year, we book the following year as soon as this one is done to secure the time in and gives us all something to look forward to. Can you go away with some friends instead? Or even some solo travelling?

Iris2020 · 13/09/2025 18:24

Holidays when single are really hard. I used to volunteer or do group trips connected to my hobby but it was exhausting. At least I felt mentally refreshed if not physically.

A single friend of mine does these great organised group trips and has a blast. It sounds like a good idea.

MrsTerryPratchett · 13/09/2025 18:24

I am the married travelling companion to my single friend. We have a whale of a time. We go places my DH would never go. You could try tours. I think G Adventures so a specific ‘solo travellers’ one.

ToTheStarsToTheSea · 13/09/2025 18:25

Gosh I'd hate not to have holidays to look forward to. I go away with my family and also with friends, but I wouldn't hesitate to go away on my own either.
DH and I did a multi-day hike in Scotland recently (West Highland Way) and I was struck by the number of solo women doing it.
What kind of thing do you enjoy? Get something booked and do it!

shinysocks · 13/09/2025 18:25

Go on a cruise, a massive amazing ship like Iona, there are loads of single people of all ages with organised events if you want them.

Fleetheart · 13/09/2025 18:26

go with Explore or Exodus or similar. They are great and no pressure- lots of different kinds of people on them.

MinnieCauldwell · 13/09/2025 18:26

I travelled solo for years, I. Groups that were friends, couples and loads of solos. Great holidays

BuffetTheDietSlayer · 13/09/2025 18:28

An organised the group of single travellers might be something for you to look into.

Left · 13/09/2025 18:28

I hear you OP!! I‘ve just been on holiday with strangers (through an adventure travel company who organised everything) and it was fab - might be worth considering if you’re too exhausted to put together an itinerary ☺️

(edited as I’m still jet lagged and missed out key info 😆)

Isis1981uk · 13/09/2025 18:29

I'd recommend booking a short holiday through Journee! You don't have to plan a thing, just show up at the airport at the right time! My manager is a single woman in her 50s and she did this alone and had an amazing time!

ToddlerMumma · 13/09/2025 18:30

I was single for 8yrs in my 30s. I went on loads of holidays with friendship travel. I was brilliant and I had a really fun time. It’s going in holiday on your own but not having to eat breakfast/dinner on your own. You can make plans with your fellow singles or be on your own. Try it!

ListOfJobsKeepsGrowing · 13/09/2025 18:30

I'd start small @JNicholson, but booking even a short break away would probably be lovely and just the boost you need.

You say you often spend you annual leave at home, late starts to the day etc.
You could have a lovely city break still having a relaxed morning, breakfast in a nice cafe. Take in the sights, history, culture (what ever interests you), have a chill reading a book in a nice coffee shop etc.
Many cities have market hall style food places which are great for solo travelling.

I love getting away on my own, no one else to worry about and no clock watching!

DinoLil · 13/09/2025 18:30

I'm an 'empty nest divorcee'.

I love cooking new recipes and share them around my large friendship circle.

I volunteer. I go on holiday with fellow 'empty nesters'.

I'm 54. My DC are late 20s. I live alone. I've never been happier!

So off you pop with your misconceptions and you 'do you' as they say.

Doggymummar · 13/09/2025 18:32

I am married and travel alone as my partner doesn't like holidays. I've been to Egypt Antigua Greece Spain Sri Lanka I prefer it to be honest.

Cinaferna · 13/09/2025 18:32

Make a list of places you'd like to go or things you'd like to do. Work out when in your working year you are most likely to have time free to book a holiday.

Then look at groups tours by people like Exodus or Explore, G Adventures and loads of other companies that specialise in tours for solo travellers. Pick one you fancy and book it as soon as you can. Go for an easy one first - not one that needs you to have vaccines and visas in advance. Once you have done a couple, you could start to do more intrepid tours.

If you'd rather have something laid back, book a health retreat somewhere gorgeous like Greece or Spain - with yoga and walks and meditation and massage and lovely food - again these exist for solo travellers.

I did this when DC both left home - a solo retreat and a solo tour with a group. Both of them were really great fun in different ways.

OtterlyMad · 13/09/2025 18:34

You can go on group holidays. If you have any sort of hobby or interest, there’s probably a group for it - cycling, walking, painting, canyoning, scuba diving, etc. Be adventurous, you have nothing to lose!

BMW6 · 13/09/2025 18:38

My niece is currently Kayaking and camping on a 4 day holiday in Scandinavia with a singles Adventure group.
I used to go abroad alone twice a year - never had a problem.

Buffysoldersister · 13/09/2025 18:40

I have to agree with everyone else. Also - I completely failed to book a family holiday this summer for various reasons and we managed to plan a fab couple of weeks in the UK with a mix of travelling about and visiting friends / family, most of which was arranged about 3 days before. If we could manage it in the school summer holidays I'm sure it's very doable the rest of the year if you are a bit flexible about where you go.

Chilliprawnpls · 13/09/2025 18:44

DinoLil · 13/09/2025 18:30

I'm an 'empty nest divorcee'.

I love cooking new recipes and share them around my large friendship circle.

I volunteer. I go on holiday with fellow 'empty nesters'.

I'm 54. My DC are late 20s. I live alone. I've never been happier!

So off you pop with your misconceptions and you 'do you' as they say.

well it sounds like you need some kind of relaxation retreat.
Urgently!

IMissSparkling · 13/09/2025 18:47

I'm single. In the last year or so, I've been away twice by myself, twice with different friends and once with my parents. Not long, far away or expensive trips but a nice mixture of city breaks, country cottages, seaside etc. Just pick something you fancy and go for it!

Menopants · 13/09/2025 18:55

I go away on my own and occasionally friends join. This year I dated on holiday which was brilliant . It very freeing you can do as much or as little as you like.

Clarinetiu · 13/09/2025 19:04

Cruise ship