I am scared my husband will be beaten or worse

[Flightsandfeelings]

I am married to a man who is brown and from Asia, he's been in UK 10 years and is a citizen. I am English and have always lived in the UK.
We are leaving where we live to move closer to my parents, which I am happy about for many reasons one being where we live right now is an incredibly hostile and racist place. One of the worst in all of the UK and has been for some time.
The area we are moving to is nice enough and we should be safe in our home l, which we aren't really now.

I am scared everyday when my husband goes out that he will be assaulted for being brown with an accent. I am also scared the same will be the case for when we move with the uptake in angry, mindless fake-news concerning people who look like him.

He is shouted at and people are aggressive already and we've both seen how it has gotten worse. Where we live people are burnt of their homes for not being white so my view of all this is coloured by that but not unfairly so.

I'm amazed at how everyone assumes it is not true.
OP, I'm very sorry this is happening.
Pp's Google violence in NI. It is very much alive.
Speak to the housing association, ask for emergency accommodation, I'd cross the border.
It's a pity there's a housing crisis over the border. It's not as bad here, there's no where to live though.

I don't think anyone is in a position to question how OP feels. I'm British with a brown complexion. I grew up in a small town and experienced racism throughout my life, but what the UK is experiencing now is another level - the tone has changed from casual racism to a level of hostility and a desire to hurt those "who don't belong here". I feel it too and I've moved abroad but when I come back - I feel safe in the big cities but the small towns are scary - Northern England in particular, Hereford also. There is alot of disinformation out there, alot of hatred stirred up by the Daily Mail, alot of UK citizens who are feeling the cost of living crisis, fed up of multiple governments that have only caused more misery, people are feeling poorer and more disgruntled and everyone wants someone to blame. I read this morning that a Sikh woman was raped at 8.30am broad daylight on a busy road by 2 white men somewhere in Northen England and whilst being raped they told her "to go back to her own country". So yes I do agree OP it is terrifying.

He does drive and we do that now really. Sadly, it's no way to live not being able to walk to the shops or being worried you're being followed home.

I'm so sorry things are so frightening for you atm 💐 If you ever fancied a move to Manchester you would be very welcome here, it's very multicultural and mostly very friendly. Hope things start to get better for you and your family soon.

Exactly this.

Only on mumsnet can you join a thread in the hope of finding out about something you didn't realise was going on and getting ripped apart for not having the knowledge.

I've been 100% respectful on this thread and been hit with white privilege, shameful, insular etc.

Ballymena Northern Ireland

But Everyone is concerned for their loved ones. I’m not sure why your concern is any different to any others. My husband is currently on shift as a police officer. His role has been made increasingly dangerous by left wingers stirring up hate against the police. We had to move area because mass immigration into our area was making the area extremely unsafe and not a nice place to live and we felt forced out of our community we had lived in for 20 years. White men are unsafe. Young boys are unsafe, women are unsafe.

But the chances of anyone in any of those groups being attacked in still small (my husband is much much more likely to be attacked than your husband). As someone with a husband who is statistically very likely to either be attacked or be threatened with attack several times tonight my suggestion to you is you need to find a way to live with the possibility of attack, one which each of us faces. Otherwise you will find yourself consumed by fear. This is advice from someone who has great experience of dealing with this kind of worry.

I wish you all the best with your move.

I am so sorry this has been your long term experience.

I dont know where you are living OP but I live in England in a northern town with a large settled Pakistani community. Nobody is burning down houses or attacking people on the streets. There is crime, obviously like anywhere else but I have heard nothing about racially aggravated assaults, crimes etc. What all the communities including the Asian community are concerned about is the uncontrolled illegal immigration

I’m also shocked by the replies on here and can only assume that the barely masked defensiveness in some of the nastiness shows exactly why the OP has every reason to feel what she feels. It’s a f**king disgrace how emboldened people are becoming with their racism, xenophobia, I’ve come across it and I’m white but married to someone not from the UK and the things I’ve had to experience are off the chart disgusting. I blame not only farage but Brexit too. Ever since that point Britain has changed and not for the better. There I’ve said it!

So one incident of arson of cars Lots of people are targeted for various reasons, but hardlly indicative of what thd OP is describing

Just because you haven't heard of it doesn't mean it's not happening.
Ballymena, northern Ireland, there were many families burnt out.
Many of which were from the phillipines are worked in the local hospital and care homes.
People in the area were putting signs up in their front window declaring their nationality

Do some further reading. There are many, many examples.

So are the posters on here denying racism people of colour then?

There is a definite attitude of 'It isn't happening' on here. And most non-white people suffer racism in the UK.

It isn't stereotyping to point out that racists are mostly white. It's factual.

It must be so worrying for you knowing he's having to actively put himself in or near danger for others safety, I really take my hat off to him and you for the work. I hope everyday he comes home safe and unharmed. 🙏

My concern comes about different things but you're right is no different. Media on all sides stirres up people as it gets more views and does not care about the consequences.

This 💯

The racist activity in NI was really widely reported, across the BBC. You don’t need to travel around the country to keep in touch with what’s happening.

Northern Ireland not count for you then?

I can't blame the OP for being worried at the least. There's a lot of shitty people out there.

And thank you for that advice. Honestly, that's scary in itself but you are right. I will talk to my husband about a way forward.

There have been reports on the hotel arsons and more recently...

www.nytimes.com/2025/06/12/world/europe/northern-ireland-violence-police-ballymena.html

@Crapola25 I agree that day to day the small towns are worse. They're being stirred from outside sometimes. Eg there are a number of bad actors joining local online neighbourhood groups, and putting up posts about foreigners trying to abduct/groom kids.

But let's not ignore that as we speak there are over 100,000 people at a far right rally in central London. There may well be many more of them even than that. I have never seen in my lifetime this kind of number, so many fascists bold and unashamed in our capital city.

How to damage a potentially legitimate argument - vulgarity and aggression. Well done!

Really? A child in my DC's class at school wrote last week about having abuse hurled at her when she goes out to the shops. She's 11.

North of England ex mining town.

Agree 💯
Lots of.. I didn't see it, so it's not happening