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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be saddened that anyone would want to take away a woman’s right to safe abortion?

1000 replies

Balayagequeen · 13/09/2025 14:48

It makes me sad and angry that there are so many people who believe that a woman’s right to a termination is up for debate/political football.

It’s always privileged men too.

No woman should be forced to continue with a pregnancy that she doesn’t want.

An abortion is a very safe, simple procedure, it’s a personal and private choice, it’s discreet, no one is ramming it down anyone else’s throat or trying to persuade others to do it. The vast majority of the time is done very early on in the pregnancy. Evidence shows that there are no long term negative physical or mental effects on the woman.

As someone who works for children’s services, there are already far too many children in the care system and they can end up deeply traumatised, and having poor outcomes in life, adoptions often don’t work out and even when they do can be extremely traumatic for both the mother and child. That is not to take away from all of the wonderful adoptive parents and foster carers, but please let’s not romanticise it.

Most adoptions are because the birth parents are unable to care for the child, not because the mother willingly gave the baby up. Therefore to force a woman to give birth would potentially be the worse option for the woman, the child and any existing siblings. It isn’t a fairytale ending where a woman willingly gives up her baby to a loving couple to live happily ever after.

There are babies conceived in poverty, domestic abuse, rape, teenage pregnancies, older age pregnancies. These women should not be forced to give birth, it is not the better option for anyone.

If abortion was ever restricted in the western world then I have no doubt that it would result in unsafe illegal abortions, risking the woman’s life.

Women take all the risk with pregnancy and childbirth. They take an enormous toll on a woman body, her mental health, her life outcomes. We are not living in the dark ages, women deserve the choice.

What right does any privileged male who has probably never experienced any of these things and has probably done very little child rearing, who can never conceive or give birth, have to try to restrict a women’s access to abortion?

Are they themselves going to care for the babies born? Or will they expect that someone else will do it?

OP posts:
Lelophants · 14/09/2025 14:34

pointythings · 14/09/2025 14:31

However, I am also aware of women (personally) who treat abortion like an option to 'sort it out' afterwards. Reaction rather than prevention. This, for me, is a huge issue

And how would our society benefit from these women being denied abortions and forced to carry to term?

im not saying this is right, but a friend of a friend kept doing this. Fourth time her parents said she was selfish and pressured her to keep the baby. She hasnt had an accidental pregnancy since. 🫣

ProfessionalPirate · 14/09/2025 14:34

LayerCakeOfStrangers · 14/09/2025 11:29

It’s punishing women because it’s saddling them with a child they can’t look after when they could have a safe and legal alternative

If 24 weeks was initially chosen for reasons of viability at the time, how can you argue that ‘no medical advancements have ever supported a reduction in this’?

Because they haven’t. 24 weeks is still considered the age of viability. The off anomaly where babies have been born before do not change this.

Or can you show me evidence that I’m wrong?

As it happens, I do have reservations about lowering the legal limit, but that is purely because of my concern that it would potentially make it difficult for women seeking a TMR after their 20 weeks anomaly scan.

So when you say you’d lower it you’d also go back to laws that criminalises late term TMRs? Otherwise what would you be concerned about?

It seems you think k there’s reasons worthy of abortion and reasons unworthy. Why do YOU get to decide the worthy reasons?

The age of viability is the point at which a baby can survive outside the womb. The current record holder was born at 21 weeks, and seems to be doing well. There’s your evidence that you are wrong.

So when you say you’d lower it you’d also go back to laws that criminalises late term TMRs? Otherwise what would you be concerned about?

I don’t understand this. I want to make TMRs more accessible, not less. Surely that is clear.

It seems you think k there’s reasons worthy of abortion and reasons unworthy. Why do YOU get to decide the worthy reasons?

Nope. You’re inventing opinions for me again. My only view on restricting abortions is to do with gestational length. Nothing more, nothing less. It’s really not complicated. I do not agree with late term abortions.

LayerCakeOfStrangers · 14/09/2025 14:35

Locutus2000 · 14/09/2025 14:11

well rape is hardly a clear cut crime.

And there it is folks.

Yep.

Scratch the surface on these so called feminists who claim “I’m pro choice” and you actually find a raging misogynist there

LayerCakeOfStrangers · 14/09/2025 14:35

Goditsmemargaret · 14/09/2025 14:15

I'm not anti abortion - I've had one - but this argument always irks me.

If people see it as murder then they will feel morally obligated to try to stop it going on around them.

And normal people are entitled to ignore them

Lelophants · 14/09/2025 14:36

LayerCakeOfStrangers · 14/09/2025 14:35

Yep.

Scratch the surface on these so called feminists who claim “I’m pro choice” and you actually find a raging misogynist there

Wrong again.You’re making it emotional.

LayerCakeOfStrangers · 14/09/2025 14:37

Lelophants · 14/09/2025 14:31

You like to make a lot of assumptions.

I do assume that pro life people, who are woman haters, aren’t the type to take a favourable view on women who’ve been raped.

Misogyny is usually a consistent characteristic. Never met a person who victim blames women who’ve been raped who is also pro choice.

LayerCakeOfStrangers · 14/09/2025 14:38

pointythings · 14/09/2025 14:31

However, I am also aware of women (personally) who treat abortion like an option to 'sort it out' afterwards. Reaction rather than prevention. This, for me, is a huge issue

And how would our society benefit from these women being denied abortions and forced to carry to term?

Women must be punished for being sexual, don’t you know!

I honestly think some people think women should only have abortions if they wail weep and apologise.

pointythings · 14/09/2025 14:38

The age of viability is the point at which a baby can survive outside the womb. The current record holder was born at 21 weeks, and seems to be doing well. There’s your evidence that you are wrong.

The % of 21 weekers who survive and do well without significant impairment is tiny. Outliers happen, but on a population level outcomes haven't improved significantly for decades.

LayerCakeOfStrangers · 14/09/2025 14:38

Lelophants · 14/09/2025 14:32

Exactly! How
can people
Not
get that?

Because
we don’t
Give a shit
If other people have a moral dilemma
Over someone
elses choice

Not every opinion is relevant or should be entertained. If someone told me they feel they need to morally object to someone else’s abortion I’d say “Right. That’s nice”.
Why must anyone justify themselves to religious nutjobs?

Goditsmemargaret · 14/09/2025 14:39

LayerCakeOfStrangers · 14/09/2025 14:35

And normal people are entitled to ignore them

'Normal people'? People who agree with you (and me)?

LayerCakeOfStrangers · 14/09/2025 14:41

Lelophants · 14/09/2025 14:34

im not saying this is right, but a friend of a friend kept doing this. Fourth time her parents said she was selfish and pressured her to keep the baby. She hasnt had an accidental pregnancy since. 🫣

I always hear these elaborate stories about friends of friends…but only from anti choice people.

Funny that

TooBigForMyBoots · 14/09/2025 14:43

Lelophants · 14/09/2025 14:34

im not saying this is right, but a friend of a friend kept doing this. Fourth time her parents said she was selfish and pressured her to keep the baby. She hasnt had an accidental pregnancy since. 🫣

Or she has stopped discussing her abortions with others.🤷‍♀️

LayerCakeOfStrangers · 14/09/2025 14:44

ProfessionalPirate · 14/09/2025 14:34

The age of viability is the point at which a baby can survive outside the womb. The current record holder was born at 21 weeks, and seems to be doing well. There’s your evidence that you are wrong.

So when you say you’d lower it you’d also go back to laws that criminalises late term TMRs? Otherwise what would you be concerned about?

I don’t understand this. I want to make TMRs more accessible, not less. Surely that is clear.

It seems you think k there’s reasons worthy of abortion and reasons unworthy. Why do YOU get to decide the worthy reasons?

Nope. You’re inventing opinions for me again. My only view on restricting abortions is to do with gestational length. Nothing more, nothing less. It’s really not complicated. I do not agree with late term abortions.

There’s your evidence that you are wrong.

I already said that babies born earlier than 24 weeks don’t change anything in medical terms of viability. That’s really not how it works. It’s like saying someone reaching 43 weeks of pregnancy should change how long we tell women they’ll be pregnant for

don’t understand this. I want to make TMRs more accessible, not less. Surely that is clear.

You said you were concerned that lowering the abortion stage will affect people looking for TMR. Given current laws allow potential termination up to full term, there’s nothing to be concerned about unless you want to change that law too.

My only view on restricting abortions is to do with gestational length. Nothing more, nothing less

And yet you think you can decide a certain section of women are monsters and baby killers based on YOUR view. Smacks of arrogance TBH

LayerCakeOfStrangers · 14/09/2025 14:45

Lelophants · 14/09/2025 14:36

Wrong again.You’re making it emotional.

I didn’t realise you spoke for other posters.

And yes that comment about rape, from an anti choice poster, shows obvious misogyny

LayerCakeOfStrangers · 14/09/2025 14:46

Goditsmemargaret · 14/09/2025 14:39

'Normal people'? People who agree with you (and me)?

No, people who don’t feel they owe an explanation about their life choices to religious strangers

MyHeartyCoralSnail · 14/09/2025 14:46

LayerCakeOfStrangers · 14/09/2025 14:44

There’s your evidence that you are wrong.

I already said that babies born earlier than 24 weeks don’t change anything in medical terms of viability. That’s really not how it works. It’s like saying someone reaching 43 weeks of pregnancy should change how long we tell women they’ll be pregnant for

don’t understand this. I want to make TMRs more accessible, not less. Surely that is clear.

You said you were concerned that lowering the abortion stage will affect people looking for TMR. Given current laws allow potential termination up to full term, there’s nothing to be concerned about unless you want to change that law too.

My only view on restricting abortions is to do with gestational length. Nothing more, nothing less

And yet you think you can decide a certain section of women are monsters and baby killers based on YOUR view. Smacks of arrogance TBH

Do you think women should have the choice to abort right up to birth for any reason

LayerCakeOfStrangers · 14/09/2025 14:48

TooBigForMyBoots · 14/09/2025 14:43

Or she has stopped discussing her abortions with others.🤷‍♀️

Or it’s total bullshit.

Isnt it funny how these anti choice people always know someone who’s had loads of abortions. I’m fiercely pro choice and never met anyone who’s had more than 1

”I know a girl who had twelvty abortions and she’s regretted them all”

Yeah sure you have.

Regardless, I’ll play along - imagine having that discussion with a friend. I’d think my mate was such a massive loser if they started sharing someone else’s medical information with me. And I’d worry about what I’d told them. Do these people not have anything better to discuss?

LayerCakeOfStrangers · 14/09/2025 14:50

MyHeartyCoralSnail · 14/09/2025 14:46

Do you think women should have the choice to abort right up to birth for any reason

I’ve already answered this quite a lot.

Im happy with the current laws of any reason up to 24 weeks the TMR only after that.

I don’t think the law should be changed, because quite simply it’s not needed.

buffyfaithfredwesley · 14/09/2025 15:03

I had one. I was using the pill and condoms and got pregnant. I couldn’t and can’t afford a child, it wasn’t a case of making it work, I plan my wages to the pound and it wouldn’t work. It also wasn’t a case of me being casual, the condom split and as I took the pill at exactly the same time and hadn’t had d and v, I presumed it would be fine

there is always a chance of pregnancy no matter how careful you are so if I can’t have sex in case I get pregnant (because people are saying you shouldn’t have an abortion) then I can never have a relationship and would have to be lifelong single. And also never go out in case I get raped

abortion has to be legal for women to have a d&c, it’s healthcare

RedSkyatNight25 · 14/09/2025 15:04

Lelophants · 14/09/2025 14:31

You like to make a lot of assumptions.

Easier to spew out than learn and retain anything factual or of substance.

pointythings · 14/09/2025 15:05

MyHeartyCoralSnail · 14/09/2025 14:46

Do you think women should have the choice to abort right up to birth for any reason

No, I think the law in the UK as it stands is fine and shouldn't be changed.

I'm also not someone who believes that if we allowed abortion up to birth for any reason we would suddenly have hordes of women blithely traipsing to hospital in week 39 because they no longer fancied having a baby, because I'm not a raging misogynist. So a change in that direction wouldn't make a difference on a population level.

LayerCakeOfStrangers · 14/09/2025 15:05

RedSkyatNight25 · 14/09/2025 15:04

Easier to spew out than learn and retain anything factual or of substance.

lol. Be irony

But you’re soooo right. I’m sure someone who minimises rape is super pro choice and pro woman

RedSkyatNight25 · 14/09/2025 15:06

LayerCakeOfStrangers · 14/09/2025 14:35

Yep.

Scratch the surface on these so called feminists who claim “I’m pro choice” and you actually find a raging misogynist there

I’ve been raped and abused as a child by more men than I can recall. That comment was exclusively about rape in particular being a crime with a lot of grey because of the very circumstances of rape. Wind your neck in.

Youre intentionally misrepresenting what people have said to further your own narrative, it’s getting quite tiresome. Debates are interesting if you can respect another’s view and use it to build, you’re just spewing your own ignorant views.

LayerCakeOfStrangers · 14/09/2025 15:10

RedSkyatNight25 · 14/09/2025 15:06

I’ve been raped and abused as a child by more men than I can recall. That comment was exclusively about rape in particular being a crime with a lot of grey because of the very circumstances of rape. Wind your neck in.

Youre intentionally misrepresenting what people have said to further your own narrative, it’s getting quite tiresome. Debates are interesting if you can respect another’s view and use it to build, you’re just spewing your own ignorant views.

Edited

It’s really not a grey area. There’s a very clear definition of what rape is in law.

RedSkyatNight25 · 14/09/2025 15:13

LayerCakeOfStrangers · 14/09/2025 15:10

It’s really not a grey area. There’s a very clear definition of what rape is in law.

The reality is you haven’t a clue how the justice system works in practice because you don’t know.

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