My son has gone on the march

[funkadelic]

Hi, have been on here years but only lurk, don’t post. But today is the day.
I am in bits. My 22yr old DS is in London on this march. I am shaking and utterly appalled. We differ on politics massively and have done for some time. I work in education, have travelled and am bit of a lefty hippy but to be honest it’s becoming more about values and morals. He is fully immersed in the manosphere algorithm and I’ve always thought he is exploring himself and things and have chats about why he has the opinions he does and try and understand his point of view. I try not to belittle him but try and get him to critically think about things.
But this I can’t deal with. I am so upset that my son has gone to this, and that it is something that is so far away from me and my values, something that I thought I had instilled in him as well.
I am totally aware that it’s triggered embarrassment but that is my issue and I’m not putting that on him. He is still my son and I love him and his passion and interest in the world, just in something I believe is so wrong and makes me sad.
Please talk some sense into me.

Would you have gone on a March a couple of years ago when the Tories were in charge?

The OP is going to be hard pushed to teach tolerance for other views, and model tolerance, understanding and respect, when she has so little tolerance for his views.

She's come to Mumsnet in bits and shaking. That is hardly being open.

Many on the left talk about tolerance as a tool for debate and convincing - rather than a genuine acceptance that others are entitled to hold a different view

Why? Why would you want to go and lend credibility to these utter fuckwigs, whose ideology stems from a place of hatred?

Horrified! Devastated!

My child doesn’t share the correct opinions and thoughts. It’s almost as though he’s an individual capable of thinking for himself - how awful!

Yes he does live at home? What’s that got to do with it?
And he lying?!! Wow! Such experts on my son and mine’s relationship?!! 😆🤣 if he was going to lie I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t know he was there!!!

OP hopefully he'll be appalled by some of the signs, chants, abuse of police he sees on the march and will realise the organisers are far from decent people.

Well he's using critical thinking.

We've got three sons the youngest a student. He and his father I'm pretty certain are poles apart politically so don't discuss politics, thank god.

My political views at 18 are now so very different to them at 55, and I've changed my mind many times over the years. He needs to explore his own thoughts, and it's fab that you're able to embrace that.

My take on these marches is that people want their voices heard. And it's becoming very apparent that Government aren't listening...

@funkadelic

So you didn't know what your DS was doing on/around the march.
and you Try to not belittle his views.

It sounds like you may want to actually listen to what he is saying instead of hearing what you want to hear.

No, Yaxley-Lennon has been demonised as a racist because he is a racist.

He exposed nothing. That would be Jayne Senior. He exploited that exposure for his own purposes.

Solidarity @funkadelic I have a teenage ds and his views worry me too. I’m putting my faith in the power of open, respectful dialogue and debate. I do a lot of listening, not just to his surface views, but to the underlying fears and hopes too (because in those things we have so much commonality).

Your ds may land on a different spot on the political compass than you do, but he sounds like a thoughtful, reflective person and that’s what we need at all points on the spectrum.

Then I'd be saying to him if he has enough spare income to go and be a Nazi, he has enough spare income to be renting his own place.

Perhaps you would care to explain why so many members of his EDL have convictions for child sex abuse?

https://hopenothate.org.uk/2022/01/11/tommy-robinson-is-a-hypocrite-when-it-comes-to-opposing-child-sexual-exploitation/

The main thing is that your son doesn’t get involved with the police or the extreme elements have organized this. It’s one thing to have an opinion, quite another to do engage with a hot temper and suddenly find you’ve done something that gets you a criminal record. Young men are impetuous.

I wasnt politically minded a couple of years ago so it wouldnt have even entered my head but the country is just getting worse and worse, im not sure how anyone can deny that at this point and people are completely sick of it and want their voices heard. Will this march do any good, i dont know but what else can we do when we feel so helpless about the future? By the way, im not some naive young kid, i am 52 years old and i apologise to no-one for my views.

I was simply saying it’s possible to want to observe, and not take part.

There’s no reasoning with someone who refers to others as fuckwigs for having a different opinion. You’re the problem, but you just don’t see it, so blinded by your own hatred and intolerance. It’s amusing that you dish out the ‘hatred’ you claim to dislike in others. You’re just as bad.

Well you're one type of mother OP is another.

There's the fluffy pink tea-shirts and pints and Faragy jokes side . Then theres the ultra right wing speakers which robinson has invited and their pseudo nazi admirers.
your son will see through the razamatazz. There's a big bubble blowing but like all bubbles soon it will burst.

None so blind as those who will not see.

I just don’t understand how people like Yaxley-Lennon, Farage and Tice have hoodwinked so many people.

Good on him 👏🏻 👍 👌 🙌

No, you don't need to apologise for your views. But your support of a neo-Nazi will mean people draw certain conclusions about you.

Thank you. I was going to say the same but struggled to keep it polite. The utter crap that people spout is so disheartening. We live in a dumbed down nation and, boy, does it show.

You're clapping the message 'Heil Hitler'?

My children can have their own opinions. If their opinions are racist, I'd be horrified and devastated yes. I agree with you about Labour and Conservative voters talking about their differences by the way, but I think the conversation goes very differently if one of them is in the National Front. Going on a Tommy Robinson endorsed march isn't a matter of a difference of opinion. It's aligning yourself with violent racists.

Immigration levels have been through the roof since the 90s, and were high back to the 70s. Many people were concerned about this all along but have been completely ignored.

The majority of people turning out today will be normal working people concerned about the direction in which the country is going. Accusations of racism and being "far-right" have been the primary tool of silencing such opinions since the 1970s - quite successfully judging by some of the thinking on here.

OP - has it occurred to you that your son may be right, or at least have a more valid opinion than you seen to think? His best friend being Muslim may have opened his eyes to some harsh realities.