Grown man just shouted at DD2

[Pinkypantspurple]

We are on our third train. 5 hours into a journey . I have DD2 and DD3.
Colouring, reading , toy animals. A few goggles and the odd roar from the toy dinosaurs !
I just had to take both to the toilet to DD who was 2 this month could have her nappy changed. There was a tiny cubicle and as I laid her head on the floor ( no facilities ) she came distressed and scared which was made worse by the handier going off .

We returned to our seats and she was crying for 90 seconds and then she did let out a scream .

A grown man aged 45? 50 shouted for ‘For God sake shut up!’
I was agog.

The children have been quiet as mice for the past half an hour .
They Are 2 and 3 and I think they have behaved so well . I have sat on trains webere children have giggled or cried or babies cried non stop and I have and would never shout.

I feel upset and angry and annoyed . AIBU?

Who cares?! Stay home if you cannot abide other people shouting!

See how that works?

You definitely need to get a grip and should probably stay home though, though you sound really unhinged.

This^ personally I probably wouldn't have gone off because I'd find a grown man shouting like that intimidating and I'd have been worried about what he'd escalate to if this is how he thinks he can speak to a 2 year old and I'd worry about ds being in the middle of that but if I was a passenger watching that without ds with me then I absolutely would have challenged him on it. What a twat.

Goodness, how do most of us (particularly not men) manage to make it through life without shouting at vulnerable people, like children, the elderly, those with special needs, when we're going through a hard time?

It really is possible.

Whatever is going on in his life doesn't excuse taking it out on those around him, who are far less able than him to stick up for themselves. Or, indeed, move.

People feel weirdly entitled to shout at children in a way they wouldn’t at adults. I’d bet good money that he wouldn’t have yelled at a grown man who, for example, was playing music on his phone, or crying. Or two adults having a loud conversation. I doubt the toddler was the only irritant on the train (trains are full of annoying people), but she was the only one he yelled at.

He’s a knob.

He left and went elsewhere? So whilst it wasn’t great he shouted, he removed himself from the situation?

Fuck that cunt!
If I were there I would have screamed at him for this. Unless he looked scary in which case I would have told the conductor about the aggressive tosser shouting at kids. What a bell end.

You seem to be struggling with comprehension.

We’re talking about an adult man responding to a distressed baby with shouting and swearing.

Of course I have overacted in public before. Maybe a huff, or a rolled eye or a shaken head.

I absolutely have never ever shouted or sworn at a stranger. Much less to or in response to a baby 100%

It’s interesting how posters say ‘you don’t know what he’s going through’ etc etc about an adult who can regulate their emotions, but when a child who can’t regulate their emotions they’re ’more annoying than you realise’

Well put, I agree.

I did challenge drunk men on a train about 10 years ago. Told them to stfu and wind their necks in and went to a different carriage with my kids and complained to a guard.

I suppose if it had been a child I’d shouted at I’d be a thread on here.

Completely irrelevant comment, my comment already addressed this entirely.

I have autism. When I’m over stimulated I struggle to regulate my emotions. It’s called autistic meltdown. Mortifying for me, it does happen in public.

the last one was in the supermarket where I ended up on the floor with my hands over my ears. And my partner had to help me to the car.

I don’t go out much any more but.

2 year olds can’t regulate their emotions. 45 year olds should absolutely be able to regulate their emotions in this situation.

it’s ironic that a 45 year old becomes so deregulated that he shouts in public about a disregulated 2 year old.

at 45 he knows what grinds his gears. It’s his job to deal with it. Wear ear plugs, noise cancelling headphones, quiet carriage etc. it not for the world to suppress normal behaviours so as not to trigger him.

They don't have a right to disturb other people and the screaming thing is getting out of hand.
Why is there this need to scream!

You seem to be struggling with comprehension. We're talking about the fact that you have definitely, irrefutably, lost your rag at some point in public and that therefore you must stay home forever if abiding by your own rules.

You can stop digging now.

Um, what? No, I can 100% say that I have never gotten angry enough to shout at a child (or anyone) in public.

No one should “abide” men shouting at the vulnerable.

it’s disgusting cowardly behaviour and it’s very odd to be be stabbing for it.

its amazing how these men rarely shout at their boss, or their client, or the guard with the authority to kick them off the train, or the group of rowdy men. It’s always lone women, small children, waiting staff etc.

its a misogynistic power play.

This! A fucking men to this.
if he doesn’t like noise he should have headphones

I can say with absolute certainty that I have never ever in my life got so angry in public that I've shouted at anyone let alone someone else's toddler.

This man cannot control what happens around him, he is absolutely accountable for his reaction to it though. And if that reaction is to take his own stress/overwhelm out on others around him then that's unacceptable.

He could have got up and moved to another carriage. He could have been more prepared and worn noise cancelling headphones. He could have arranged a taxi or lift if he didn't want to deal with other people. He could have spoken politely to op and asked her to keep the kids quieter if he was sensitive to noise. So many options that do not involve roaring and shouting at a 2 year old.

As an aside
i don’t think I could do a 5hour journey on a network of trains involving three changes with two small children and one in nappies.
Whilst I applaud the use of public transport it might be easier on you ( and the kids ) atm OP to drive. If that can be an option for you

The ability to regulate his emotions for a start.

No. If he can't handle society, he should remove himself from society.

I’m older than 45. I do all that. Sometimes I still meltdown.

it’s why I don’t go out. Coz I upset the normals.

45 year olds can very definitely NOT always regulate their emotions as all humans can snap when constantly pestered and harassed and are experiencing a cortisol dump and higher blood pressure.

And as all he did was shout and leave you have no point to make.

But you already know your comment is irrelevant.

Have you met a young child or a baby before, ever?