RSV season warning in family chat

[AutumnIsHereAnd]

My SIL has today shared a “warning” in our family group chat to say we are no longer allowed to kiss my nephews (even on the HAND!), because of “RSV season”. The boys are 4 and 15 months. AIBU to think this is absolutely ridiculous, especially given the fact they’re the ones who are always poorly?! She’s said if any of us kiss them we won’t be seeing them for the rest of winter!

You don't like her very much, do you?
Why do you have an issue with her setting boundaries for her own children?
By all means ask if they've had bugs recently, that's normal, but your flouncing and overreaction is ridiculous.

So your problem isn’t the RSV.
Your problem is the hypocrisy.

I have to say I agree too that you don’t need to go nuclear, it is hugely frustrating, I get that.
But then it’s also very easy to say ‘seeing we’re back into the cold/flu/RSV season, I’m not looking after any child who has even some sniffles. I was too unwell last time’
That way You’re pointing out her hypocrisy and protecting yourself from any virus/bacteria going round.

I'd like to know what are the chances of transmiting RSV through extended direct contact overnight with hugs but not kisses, and the same but with kisses.

It's irrelevant, the parent has asked for no kisses and OP has to respect that.

It's relevant to me.

You don't care about her either, do you.

@CracklingFlames please go and educate yourself about RSV

Okay - easy solution. Let her know that you will not be babysitting if they have runny noses, etc.

As a teacher, I am very close with my kids, I hug them, hold their hands, listen to their stories. They ask if they can come to my house to play and on multiple occasions have had children ask if they can live with me! Never have I kissed them. Just stop kissing her children.

And don't cut off your nose to spite your face. If you want to kiss them, you obviously love them and like seeing them. So just behave in a way that their parent likes which is in no way detrimental to your relationship with the child. Win win.

She's pissed off with nursing sick kids all winter.

I've had a winter like that it was long and depressing.

I was with you until that. You've totally out-batshitted her now.

Those poor kids. They love their auntie, but now they won't see you. And the four year old will soon find out that it's your choice not to set him.

You love them enough to kiss them, but not enough to act like an adult.

So this is a thread because you hate your SIL and want us to all join you in a pile-on, because you’d enjoy that?

Not really - why should OP pick up all her kids illnesses but she won’t let OP comfort her kids. It’s very hypocritical.

Now obviously OP can be the better person and just say ‘fine’. And I’m sure she will and is just venting on here.

To be fair, I wouldn’t be kissing any kids through winter..

Amazed at the amount of adults who seem to lack self control when it comes to kissing other people’s children. Just…don’t?

Yes it is all a bit crazy and I have no idea why people are defending her on here. Her kids are much more likely to make you ill but she doesn’t care about that when she wants free babysitting.

I’m guessing when you’re ill you have to take time off work? All became she wants a night out when her kids are ill. Yet you’re the bad guy…hmm

She is allowed to comfort them though - a hug is more than sufficient. There's no need to kiss other people's children.

Children under 5 are the most likely age group to die from contracting RSV.

Your sister in law has set a boundary, respect it.

Maybe she’s pregnant again but doesn’t want to tell anyone yet - RSV can cause problems in pregnancy.

That's a good idea. Our sons know that if there's illness in their families we don't want to see them. Grandpa has health issues. We don't inflict our germs on them either.

Do nothing, say nothing and don't kiss them. Rise above this level of batshittery and leave well alone. Arguing the toss with people that don't have even a basic understanding of how viruses, bacteria, moulds etc. work is lunacy.

Don't be a heartless cow and ignore their parental decisions, regardless of what you think of them. They've stated it's important to them and defined their boundaries. Of course you can sulk and refuse to see them over the winter to make your point - but don't be petty

It's airborne so kissing is pretty irrelevant. If you're in the same room, the sick person will be breathing out infectious particles which others will breathe in especially if ventilation is poor. Which is why hand washing is insufficient for dealing with RSV, COVID, flu etc. You need airborne mitigations. Ideally the sick person wears an N95 mask. Open windows, run air purifiers, favour outdoor activities.

And she can be as their parent and you as an adult are being more ridiculous and immature, stomping your feet because you can’t kiss another person’s children when it is not a necessity. Plenty of people bond with children without having to kiss them and if you think the only way to bond and maintain a bond is to kiss a child, that is a problem.

Ah, OK - petty is the way to go

I thought so, thanks.