New DP useless around the house

[HanhanRuns]

DP moved in with me in July - his first time living away from home. I feel like I have to micro manage what he does to help out in terms of chores/housework and it’s already starting to grate. Even basic stuff like the toilet seat and lack of aim - when I raise it he says he forgot and ‘he’s learning’.

Any tips for dealing with this? Other than sexual incentives or withdrawal of these services which seems to be the only advice I get from my friends and a couple of work colleagues!

OP, you need to see a solicitor. Now.

My 9 year old has never left piss on the toilet seat. Surely a 28 year old has mastered it by now? Even if he hasn’t, WIPE IT UP YOU MORON.

What do you mean protected? A mortgage broker only has an obligation to make sure you can afford the repayments and not to sell you a dodgy product, but has no obligation to tell you anything about the legal ramifications of putting your boyfriend on the deeds of your property or allowing him to pay towards the mortgage and deposit.

Do you have parents or family? Did you discuss him buying into your property? If I had found out that my daughter was going to put someone she'd never lived with onto her deeds I'd have been livid and would have been doing everything to try to stop her.

How long have you been with this man?

sexual incentive to aim for the toilet? I have 2 sons, both adults now. Not had to clean up their urine since they were around 5yrs old.

Please don't leave OP.

How was it explained to you by the mortgage broker, you may not have understood the technical mumbo jumbo, but what did he explain with regards to who owns what and what happens if you split? Did he match the value you already had in the house?

If you have been wrongly advised, lied to or coerced into signing this mortgage agreement, there may be a chance to take legal action and escalate your complaint.

Oh good god above. He has no problems. You do. Him. He thinks you're a mug and is going to make your life hell.

There was a post giving you some lateral thinking ideas. Pull the rug (house) out form under him. Go scorched earth. He won't expect it. Tell him you'll be selling up as per that person's post.

Even though you will lose out financially it will be glorious to bamboozle him like that.

Wow, what an unbelievably rash thing to do.

He needs to live by himself before living with you. Tell him that. It's disgusting and unless you want to be his mum, it is a very bad idea to let this go on.

Mind blown. It's your house, actually was your house, it's now half his. Half of the full value, not just the amount be gave you.
Why did you not speak to a solicitor?

Op look past the harsh comments. You need legal advice. This man could take half your house and by the sound of it he’s manipulated you into this position with his mate advising making you think it was proper legal advice. Pissing in the bowl while he didn’t have a stake in the house long enough to get his claws in then his true disrespect for you comes out the second the ink is dry?

I had an ex with similar financial motivation. As Soon as he had a stake in my property he completely changed. I wish to fuckbi had wised up much sooner. You try fix the relationship because it’s so difficult to untangle but the longer you leave it the more financial damage they do to you.

get legal advice. Is there a break clause or something to get him off the deeds as you were misled legally. Ask a solicitor ASAP

Putting your head in the sand now is the worst thing you can do. It's not going to go away by itself.

Assuming you are in the UK, OP, get onto Rights of Women now and start to understand the ownership structure you have agreed to.

This sounds unhinged. Can you confirm that I have understood the following correctly?

DP lived with his parents/elsewhere while dating, and stayed at your house 2-3 times per week with no significant issues. You were in a tough financial spot so agreed for him to purchase a portion of your property and move in? And the cleanlisness issues started after he moved in?

I am sorry to say that if this is real, I have just seen that you have confirmed he is a joint tenant. You have signed over 50% of an asset that you had so far been paying for, with a partner who clearly thinks that he can treat you like shit now he's got his feet under the table.

He's taking the piss.

Sorry.

Hell no to looking after someone’s son for them

Get him gone

His mummy must be thrilled he moved out!

Did you really just say sexual incentives to get a man to act like an adult

What a turn on

a 28 year old should really have been independent of parents for a while. He's never been responsible for running his home, life, maintaining a home. You are mummy mark 2

Get your own independent advice about how to untangle this mess. And if you do sleep with him, for goodness sake have rock solicitor contraception or you'll have two kids not the one you have now

It went over your head? I can hardly believe this is real. When you took out your mortgage did you understand what was happening or did somebody do it for you?

Half your house?! You need legal advice and this “broker” needs looking into asap to see if there is anything at all that can be done to reverse this.

Is this the old Lee and Herring joke where children are always 28 years old???
But seriously, he has not been toilet-trained at 28? He pissed all over the place at his parents house for 28 years and nobody stopped him?
Jesus wept...

I had one like this. Getting rid

Honestly scares me seeing women who think this is normal (I did too, it’s conditioned into us as it suits men very well)

Absolutely this. This is what happens with ‘failure to launch’ men, who have never had to clean up their own piss from the bathroom floor, cook meals every day, do laundry, grocery shopping etc. Not a starter as far as I’m concerned.

OP, this thread probably feels like an acid bath right now, but it is only because there are so many women on here who have been through bitter separations and divorces, and who have been taken advantage of by partners or worn down by "cheeky fuckers".

If it feels harsh, it is because people are frustrated on your behalf.

Take some time, breathe, but do not back away from understanding your position and getting some proper legal advice on the ownership of your home. This truly is not an issue on which you should bury your head in the sand.

I don't mean to pile on you OP, but this was very very silly. You and your OH own the house wholly, together. If he dies it's all yours, if you die its all his. Neither of you own any defined shares or has any more power over the rest of you. I hope there is someone out there thinking of doing something similar who sees this.

If you split and can't buy him out of the property and he can't buy you out, the property will be sold and equity divisible in equal shares to both of you. You have essentially given this man half the equity you have been paying towards since you bought the property. Please seek legal and financial advice.

I'm curious how you updated the deeds without legal advice/involvement.