New DP useless around the house

[HanhanRuns]

DP moved in with me in July - his first time living away from home. I feel like I have to micro manage what he does to help out in terms of chores/housework and it’s already starting to grate. Even basic stuff like the toilet seat and lack of aim - when I raise it he says he forgot and ‘he’s learning’.

Any tips for dealing with this? Other than sexual incentives or withdrawal of these services which seems to be the only advice I get from my friends and a couple of work colleagues!

You are actually attracted to a man who can't even piss properly???

It doesn’t get better, and it’s amplified x100 if you choose to have children with him

This. Brokers deal in mortgage borrowing. Purely getting you a mortgage deal.

Solicitors work in your interests.

Choosing a friend is never a good idea.

If I were you, I’d speak to your mortgage lender OP, see if you get adjust it based on misinformation.

get rid now, he’s taking the mickey out of you and this is a very slippery slope into misery!

Yuck. You couldn't pay me all the money in the world to live with a man again.

This. And the putting his clothes next to the toilet.

How much housework is he doing?

He owns the house as well now, so probably thinks he can do what he likes in it, lie piss on the seat. The more I read, the sillier you appear to have been OP. This won't end well!

The fact that new commenters aren't reading the OPs updates and think it's just a case of bad toilet habits.
Giving half your owned house away to a new partner who has barely been in the property 3 months, on advice from his friend.
Please OP get proper legal advice and don't let on to this guy about it at all until it's sorted. What a mess.

Not dear. And not a partner. Did you sign up to mother a 28 year old, hold their hand and coax them through the absolute basics of being a functioning adult?
Get some self respect and get rid.

The votes have probably been based on the OP not the drip feed.

Agree. She’s been incredibly unreasonable signing away half her house on the advice of his dodgy broker mate to a bloke who reckons the only way to stop him pissing all over the bathroom is for her to give him a BJ

She needs legal advice and fast - what a mess

Was the lump sum he put in the same as your equity

For the love of god tell the useless fucker to do one. There is nothing on earth that excuses this what a child.

Was the lump sum he put in the same as your equity

The broker advises on finance. Not legal and beneficial ownership. They are regulated to recommend a finance product. Not how you own your home.

You’ve told him and he says he’s ‘still learning’?! Od do fuck off stupid boyfriend! It takes being told once then you check, wipe, clean. How is he not totally embarrassed?

Did his mum wipe the piss off the seat for him????

Oh dear.

He needs to pee sitting down.

Yeah, this is the way to go. I trained my DP (sounds stupid but it's true haha) by doing this. If he left something a mess, or left pee on the floor or skid marks in the loo, I got him to stop whatever he was doing and come to deal with it. He soon learned it was just easier to do it.

I said to him that every time he doesn't do something, he's assuming someone else (i.e. me as I'm the only other person!) will deal with it for him, and unless he's planning to pay me as his maid, that is NOT happening!

I'm sorry but that's a cop out and you're going to learn a very expensive lesson if the relationship breaks down.

You are an adult. You need to protect your hard earned assets. If someone is explaining something to you, be it financial, legal, mechanical etc, do not smile and nod if you don't understand. Make them explain it to you until you do understand - that's their job. Going cheap and avoiding lawyers will cost you in the end. Legal fees are an investment. You should not do what you did on your house without independent legal advice. It would be worth your while to speak to a lawyer now to see what your options are. Did the financial advisor tell you to get your own, independent advice? He should have as he had a major conflict of interest.

A lot of people (not just men!) start off like this, but if they're willing to learn, why not give him the chance? We've all had to learn things, whether it's sorting internet, the car, or basic household stuff. Ideally you wouldn't have to show him, but nor should I have had to explain to a uni roommate how to do basic cooking/use a washer etc. I could have just told it it was her own issue, but I explained things, and she then was fine. Plus if you tell someone how to do things "your" way, that can end up easier than a squabbling pair who criticise how each other loads the dishwasher. If this guy is otherwise a good person, why lose what could be an amazing life? I know too many people unhappy and complaining about their partner, and funnily enough, they always talk about sending him back to Mum-like they only blame his mum for not preparing him for life, not dad.
Now, if he refuses to learn/expects you to do all of it, that's more of an issue. Sure, some couples do decide that one will work and the other do all the housework, and regardless of gender, that's their choice, but it's really better if both can at least so some stuff, as it's frustrating if someone's ill and their partner can't even make a cup of tea.

Undoubtedly the way to go, but how off putting to be put into the parenting role.
Most unattractive.

When my husband moved in, I asked about us sharing jobs around the place. He looked confused, sat back and put his feet up on the coffee table and said "I like to relax when I'm at home". We were divorced only 5 years later. I should have split up with him right then and there. Get rid. Not worth the stress.