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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think disruptive behaviour in schools is out of hand?

709 replies

Absentosaur · 11/09/2025 13:02

‘Children at state schools are almost three times more likely to have their lessons disrupted by poor behaviour than their privately educated peers, a widespread survey of parents has found.’

https://archive.md/HMGtJ accessible link to article .

18% 16-18yr olds go to private school, probably for this reason a lot of the time.

Do we expect the government to do something about it, particularly given they have closed the private school doors to many? What could they be doing to improve the worst state schools??

To think disruptive behaviour in schools is out of hand?
OP posts:
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Chinsupmeloves · 12/09/2025 19:33

Oh it has been in many schools for many years, especially since academy takeovers!

As a supply teacher now there are some i refuse to go to and I'm pretty tough!

The stories of disrespect, abuse, safety etc would make you your toes curl...

Chinsupmeloves · 12/09/2025 19:34

MissAmbrosia · 12/09/2025 19:32

I'm in Belgium and the commune schools offer either a "technical" or "professional" track from 14 alongside general education. So non-academic kids move to learning a trade, or office/hospitality skills some still with the option of getting their high school leaving certificate with an extra year (so Uni or higher education possible) Here you have to pass the year to move up (even in primary), so maybe it becomes clearer who might benefit or not. The system is not perfect maybe, but better than forcing GCSE's on those who are not interested or capable.

As in Germany and different types of school rather than just one model which doesn't work for all at all!

Much better and the UK should seriously learn and adapt. Xx

MissAmbrosia · 12/09/2025 19:47

I do wonder sometimes if the thought of having to retake the year might encourage some kids a bit more. It's really common in Belgium. I don't think they put up with nearly the same amount of shit in schools though. And teachers are generally much more respected.

RowanRed90 · 12/09/2025 19:53

BigBilly · 11/09/2025 13:12

That's a good idea, anyone who is underachieving just throw them out! That's a great way to solve the problem long term!

Just have a different school for these kids

Darsar133 · 12/09/2025 19:59

How about we start campaigning for the government to put plug more money into intervention? CAHMS is disgustingly underfunded, they got rid of Sure Start etc etc. Schools are for education not to teach how students to behave. Start pointing the finger at the organ grinding government not the teachers who are trying their bloody best!

JaneyDC · 12/09/2025 20:11

This is the main reason I have decided to give up teaching. The behaviour is awful these days and this is Primary! So much time spent dealing with disruptions and the SEN is through the roof with not enough funding and support. I started this career 12 years ago and so much has changed for the worst. Parents would be horrified if they witnessed how often lessons are disrupted by children.

I've had enough of being stressed to the max trying to do my best and knowing it's still not enough. I've just secured a new job out of education. I can't wait to start.

Buddingbudde · 12/09/2025 20:21

JaneyDC · 12/09/2025 20:11

This is the main reason I have decided to give up teaching. The behaviour is awful these days and this is Primary! So much time spent dealing with disruptions and the SEN is through the roof with not enough funding and support. I started this career 12 years ago and so much has changed for the worst. Parents would be horrified if they witnessed how often lessons are disrupted by children.

I've had enough of being stressed to the max trying to do my best and knowing it's still not enough. I've just secured a new job out of education. I can't wait to start.

Sorry to hear this. My children’s ages span a lot of years and when the eldest started primary the teaching assistant in each class were there to help along those who struggled with some concepts, listened to kids read etc. now they are just 1:1 with the Sen kids. It’s a good use of their time as it allows others to learn, but the teacher is now missing the important role a TA did for them

Bluedenimdoglover · 12/09/2025 20:29

The attitude of some in school is a representation of what is happening in society in general. Parents who won't monitor their children's behaviour outside school will frequently, fail to support any actions taken by teachers to deal with problems at school. Woe betide anyone else trying to be intervene outside school to prevent vandalism or bad behaviour - the parents are just as likely to turn on that person. It's a bleak picture, but it's true

Nomorechipsforme · 12/09/2025 20:36

"widespread survey of parents has found" so your post is based on a parent survey?

AKASammyScrounge · 12/09/2025 20:39

BigBilly · 11/09/2025 13:12

That's a good idea, anyone who is underachieving just throw them out! That's a great way to solve the problem long term!

Anyone who is DISRUPTIVE should be.educated separately on the grounds that it is bad enough that the wild bunch don't achieve but it would be a crime if the well disposed were not allowed to achieve either.

Maddy70 · 12/09/2025 20:43

smallpinecone · 12/09/2025 18:25

I wouldn’t feel differently, no.

If my child was that disruptive at school, I’d remove them. My child is no more important than the thirty others in the class. What right have I to deprive others of an education in order that my child be included? Is my child’s (questionable) education to come at the expense of every other person there? It’s the height of selfishness and self-absorption.

And where would you remove them to? What a daft post. The support really isn't there.

MiniBeesMum · 12/09/2025 20:48

We recently moved house to a tiny village in a different local authority to get our teenagers away from the schools in the city we lived in. They went to an enormous school full of young people with behavioural issues where both were bullied and assaulted to the point where one was terrified to attend. Now attending a tiny school with minimal behaviour issues.

I actually rated the teaching staff highly but the behaviour policies were unbelievably bad. The consequence to the 15yo boy who choked my 12yo to the point of leaving marks on his neck was a day in reflection....

It's night and day. My young people are so much more relaxed and able to learn without that constant anxiety about when they're next going to be assaulted.

I'm a former primary teacher. Behavioural issues are unbelievable. Even from nursery age. Some of these children genuinely haven't a chance. The vicious circle of poverty and antisocial behaviour is at the bottom of this. This alongside the fact that schools are being asked to cater to SEN children with high needs, but not given enough money to make it work... the system is broken and all the children are being failed.

UpstartEnglishTuition · 12/09/2025 20:59

OP: To answer your question, let's talk, honestly, about the 'RETENTION' part of that throwaway phrase, 'recruitment and retention'.

I'm one of many, many thousands of experienced teachers who have decided enough is enough over the last couple of years. After over a decade, I left at Christmas, and despite being an 'outstanding teacher' and award-winning tutor, you could never tempt me back into the classroom. If you dig into the reasons why there are so many of us jumping ship, pay is seldom an issue. But increasingly - go to somewhere like Teacher Tapp for validation - you'll find that behaviour is closing the gap on workload.

Tutoring is fulfilling in so many ways that teaching no longer was ...

Too many of us who are driven and enthusiastic educators, and subject specialists too, are finding that they spend astronomical amounts of time playing whack-a-mole managing student behaviour (and the paperwork outside of lesson time which it entails), and rarely reaching the silent majority who'd like to learn. And we are not backed up for 'holding the line', whatever senior management might say.

Part of the problem is the way that schools are judged on exclusions, as if poor student behaviour is their fault. Internally, despite a LOT of talk to the contrary, individual teachers are also judged when students throw furniture around the room, refuse to cooperate, etc. Heck, they're even judged when truanting students from other classes come into our rooms and cause havoc. In some schools, behaviour systems are overwhelmed by the sheer numbers of students involved. You get into a situation where you are encouraged to take a tough line on unacceptable behaviour, then criticised when you do, because it adds to senior leadership's workload / hassle.

I can personally vouch for situations where I could not remove someone from a class for refusing to do any work, 'because they were not impacting anyone else's learning'. But within a fortnight, the entire class downed tools when they realised that the senior team were not punishing this attitude.

That's to say nothing of my experience at another school where a student followed me home after school and assaulted me within 50 yards of my home - and I was expected to teach them as if nothing had happened after a short exclusion.

Experienced teachers get fed up when REALLY awful behaviour - which school should be teaching kids will cause them real problems in the adult world - is met with excuses, and/or parent hostility. I get that no-one wants to feel accused of being a bad parent, but our combined job is to help these youngsters survive in the adult world.

Frankly, and from experience - I should not feel that there are areas of a school which I should avoid at breaks or lunchtimes. Similarly, if there are multiple times a week when I feel genuinely afraid for my physical safety, and I have no backup, then I need to find another place to work. Which other profession has to look over their shoulder when they are walking home from the Co-op with a couple of bags of shopping?

To sum up: behaviour IS completely out of hand. Some of that is down to schools, but a lot of it is down to parents. Either way (and not including myself here), many of the best and brightest aren't willing to work under these job conditions.

smallpinecone · 12/09/2025 21:03

CrispieCake · 12/09/2025 19:21

Come on. The parents are probably already on their knees caring for a child with significant needs and now you think they should become educators as well.

Just like you, they've paid their taxes, they're entitled to an education for their child.

Some parents do reluctantly home educate against their will. Complete failure of the system.

Another viewpoint is this - why should the mainstream school system be set up so that your child succeeds and other children fail? Why should it suit certain personalities and not others? Why should it favour compliant children with good academic ability over other children? What makes these children "special" so that society caters to them while ignoring the needs of other children?

While we might care most about our own children (and there's nothing wrong with that), we should all be committed to the idea that all children should have their needs met.

Again, not my problem. ‘They’re entitled to an education for their child…’ well so is mine, and isn’t getting one. Neither are thirty other children in that class. So we’ll throw the rest of class under the bus to benefit one, who’s no more special or deserving than the others?

Everyone wants their child’s needs to be met. That’s my point. But meeting those needs shouldn’t come at other’s expense and detriment.

smallpinecone · 12/09/2025 21:06

Maddy70 · 12/09/2025 20:43

And where would you remove them to? What a daft post. The support really isn't there.

Home. Anywhere but my child’s classroom. I don’t really care, it’s not my problem. My child being able to receive a decent education because of constant disruption is my concern.

Papyrophile · 12/09/2025 21:08

If there was a way to get DS what he desperately needed without impacting others’ education, then of course I and most decent humans would have done that. The fact that there isn’t needs to be laid at the door of the LA’s and education policy of successive governments, not of individual parents.

I have just missed out a huge chunk of posts between the above and now, but it all comes down to money, or the ability to fund what's needed. Councils can't, and most ordinary people can't find the £100k pa that individually tailored SEN provision costs. So who pays? If the parents can't, and the local authority is (IMO correctly) spending their budget on the NT majority, who will mostly pay tax in the future to repay the investment.

Papyrophile · 12/09/2025 21:18

Has anyone sent a link to this thread to Bridget Philipson? She really needs to read it.

EasternStandard · 12/09/2025 21:23

GiveDogBone · 12/09/2025 18:04

This is because many, many parents are terrible parents (and you see plenty of examples of this in MN threads).

But what on earth do you expect the government to do about it?

In fact, people like you who don’t think people should take personal responsibility for anything, and that the government can and should solve all the problems in society are a major, major part of the problem.

I don’t want them to do much more than stop putting barriers up for dc who do want to learn doing so.

Quit the ridiculous VAT style policy that puts more dc in state and lowers access out of it, and stop trying to use parents who do care to improve the system without extra funding or other better changes.

Needmorelego · 12/09/2025 21:26

smallpinecone · 12/09/2025 21:06

Home. Anywhere but my child’s classroom. I don’t really care, it’s not my problem. My child being able to receive a decent education because of constant disruption is my concern.

Wow 🙁

twistyizzy · 12/09/2025 21:28

Papyrophile · 12/09/2025 21:18

Has anyone sent a link to this thread to Bridget Philipson? She really needs to read it.

She doesn't give a shit. She isn't interested in actual education.

EasternStandard · 12/09/2025 21:29

Papyrophile · 12/09/2025 21:18

Has anyone sent a link to this thread to Bridget Philipson? She really needs to read it.

I think she’s totally immune to this stuff.

CrispieCake · 12/09/2025 21:36

smallpinecone · 12/09/2025 21:03

Again, not my problem. ‘They’re entitled to an education for their child…’ well so is mine, and isn’t getting one. Neither are thirty other children in that class. So we’ll throw the rest of class under the bus to benefit one, who’s no more special or deserving than the others?

Everyone wants their child’s needs to be met. That’s my point. But meeting those needs shouldn’t come at other’s expense and detriment.

Actually it is your problem, whether you like it or not.

Unless proper provision is made for them, these children will be educated alongside your child regardless of whether it reduces the quality of education available to your child. That's the reality of the situation. The only way forward is to make alternative provision more widely available from the start, so it's not just children in absolute crisis that qualify.

If you want to remove your children from school and educate them yourself, it's of course up to you to provide an education which focuses solely on their needs.

BasilLemon · 12/09/2025 21:38

BigBilly · 11/09/2025 13:12

That's a good idea, anyone who is underachieving just throw them out! That's a great way to solve the problem long term!

Underachieving is not the same as being disruptive though.

hungryduck · 12/09/2025 21:40

smallpinecone · 12/09/2025 21:06

Home. Anywhere but my child’s classroom. I don’t really care, it’s not my problem. My child being able to receive a decent education because of constant disruption is my concern.

If your child isn't recieving a decent education, you are free to home school. Or pay private.

Absentosaur · 12/09/2025 21:42

Nomorechipsforme · 12/09/2025 20:36

"widespread survey of parents has found" so your post is based on a parent survey?

Yes. It’s in the OP.

OP posts: