Children having their own seat on a packed train.

[user1493559472]

I am on a packed train. A child who is about 3 years old is sat in their own seat and not on the parents lap, would you ask to sit down and the child sits on parents lap? People were standing.
Thank you

If they are under 5 it's unlikely

Just have an argument for argument's sake, why don't you?

Why is it a dreadful hardship? I managed to travel routinely with a small child on my lap for a long time without noticing any untold suffering. I know there may be parents for whom it would be genuinely difficult, in which case all they have to do is say Sorry, I can't do that. It doesn't mean that OP can't ask.

Where are 3 year old children supposed to stand and hold on because them standing isn't actually facilitated in any way.

Difficult one - I was brought up in the era of leaving the seat for an adult if I was young enough to sit on my parents lap, but I'm aware this has changed. I do think if the child is young enough to have a free ticket then they could have moved but if the parent hasn't already done this then I think they are probably not the sort of parent you want to be asking!

No, a 3 year old needs a seat more than I do.

But train companies also allow you to buy a ticket for your under 5 if you wish to do so. I'm taking a train from London to Aberdeen next month and bought my 4 year old a ticket because there is no way either of us can manage that long squashed on 1 seat. And there is no way I'll be giving it up to anyone.

I'm guessing they think a 3 year old wouldn't be on a train by themselves and could sit on a lap?!

....in which case you'd be askung the person in that seat to move, whatever age they were.

However, as the PP said, if you haven't booked a specific seat, the ticket doesn't entitle you to one. If it did, the train company would be sued by thousands of commuters every day.

There's an awful lot of unwritten 'expectations' I think that just so happen to coincide with with who wants to sit down

Announcing your child's disability/mobility issues/SEN on a packed train is understandably not something a parent may always feel comfortable doing for whatever reason.

As I explained in my first comment, when someone asked my son to stand up in a packed train over the summer holidays, I got met with an eye roll when I explained that the folded up wheelchair is my sons and he can't stand up.

When that happens, I definitely don't feel like explaining my son's needs to people.

If there's more than one small child in the same family, they should share a seat - the seats are plenty big enough for two typical under-fives.

Like others on this thread, when I was a child I was expected to give up my seat for adults, whether a paid for seat or not.

And if the lap is already occupied?

They wouldn't be deprived of a seat if they're on their parent's lap, would they?

If me and my child were taking up two seats, yes in all honesty I would think of others and move them to my lap.

If I was standing up (your OP implies the parent is), no I wouldn't sit down and put the child on my lap, unless it benefitted me ie. that scenario would be a selfish act.

Probably not. I'm more stable, lots of seats don't have enough room for a three year old on a lap and sitting next to him probably wouldn't be that comfortable either.

I regularly travel from London to Leeds and back with my 2.5 year old. Of course we take 2 seats if they’re available, and of course he sits on my knee if someone is standing. We haven’t paid for him a seat so he can sit on me (I agree it’s not ideal but it’s certainly not a dreadful hardship for me as has been suggested!)

Even if the child is under 5 and notionally free, they may still have a ticket and thus be entitled to a seat. With a family railcard it's actually cheaper to buy a ticket for an accompanying child under 5 because the railcard gives a 33% discount on adult fares as well, so long as you are accompanied by a child who has a ticket, so we regularly bought train tickets fir our 1/2yo DC.

They don't have to stand, they can sit on parent's lap. If for any reason that's not possible and the parent is sitting, they could stand by or in front of parent and hold on to their legs or hands.

Oh for goodness sake, so being so ruddy pedantic for the sake of trying to make an argument where there isn't one.

On long distance trains if you want a seat you reserve one.

on short distance trains it’s first come first served except for priority seats.

As I have said before, you are assuming that a 3 year old understands the social construct surrounding the seat. I also think that in the late 80's/90's there wasn't magically no pearents who couldn't have a child sat on their lap for any length of time.

A three year will understand what its parent has bothered to teach it. That might have to be in very simple terms but it’s absolutely possible to teach a three year old good manners.

I think some people on this thread are being quite disingenuous. All this righteous huffing about how children are people too when no one has said otherwise 🙄 juxtaposed with moans about how uncomfortable it is to sit with a three-year-old on lap. And then those of us who are pro toddlers sitting on laps are the entitled ones? 🤔

My children are free on the train until they are 11- I don't think he will fit onto my lap that long!