Children having their own seat on a packed train.

[user1493559472]

I am on a packed train. A child who is about 3 years old is sat in their own seat and not on the parents lap, would you ask to sit down and the child sits on parents lap? People were standing.
Thank you

The argument is under five’s are not entitled to a seat as they haven’t paid for one. Manu families have more than one young child so where do they go if the can’t use a seat? The idea that a three year old is safe standing in front of their parent and hold their leg is ridiculous.

Better for who?
You?

It would be a nice thing to do, but I wouldn't get mad if they didn't. Perhaps the mother wants a comfortable ride without holding the child in her lap. Making mothers hold children capable of sitting independently on their laps to allow able-bodied adults get seats is a kind of social enforcement of the caregiving burden in my opinion. Another penalty they must face for having a child. The child is no less deserving of a seat. And the mother probably deserves a ride in comfort. I find this constant feeling that mothers must be visibly uncomfortable to accomodate another able bodied person's comfort to be tiresome.

Train designs have changed a lot since most of us were young. Less poles, less stuff to hang on to at a lower height. Back in the compartment days you could stand in front of parents between their legs but now that would be impinging on the person opposite's knee room. Seats are also more defined rather than being true benches less seat pitch so you would struggle to fit a child in the gap, I think the tables are lower too - so the environment is less "friendly" to a small child standing or sitting on a lap.

A three year old won't feel entitled but if they are taught they are the same as an adult and not to offer a seat I personally think they grow up with a lack of respect for elders and feeling entitled when they eventually grasp social constructs (which actually doesn't take too long!)

Poor, poor child. His friends will mock if they see a 9 year old on their mum's knee.

No, they haven't. HTH

How is she not denying them a seat, exactly? A lap isn't a seat.

Oh my goodness, where have I said they should stand and hold on for dear life?If there is no space avaliable on lap then of course they should be on the seat - no one is arguing with you - except you in your head. Stop trying to be a typing warrior and take in what you are reading rather than 'trying' to wind me up. Not going to bother reading your crap now so jog on!

Are you aware there are other posters in this thread?

🙄

Did they pay extra to book that seat? Then no! They paid for the seat, it’s theirs.

YANBU. A child small enough to sit comfortably and safely on an adult's lap should absolutely be on a lap if there are adults standing.

It's rarely comfortable to have another person, even a toddler, on your lap.

That's what I always do if we're on a train. My mum always drilled into me that I was to give up my seat for an adult who wasn't seated, and would offer her own to a pregnant, elderly or disabled passenger who didn't have one. I think it's the right thing to do. But I don't think you can demand it of someone who hasn't. There are all sorts of nice things that people can do for others if they choose but don't have to if they don't and I think this is one of them.

Ooh, I don't think I'd ask my child to give up a seat I'd taken the trouble to reserve for us, though, not just for a random adult with functioning legs who hadn't bothered to reserve themselves a seat.

Did the pass-agg "hope that helps" really add anything to your comment? 🙄

I meant comfortably and safely for the child.
But this does rather go to the point about the pro-seats-for-toddlers crowd on here and entitlement.

Oh, ok. You can see how often I travel by rail 🤦🏻‍♀️

in that case, yes I’d put a child on my lap if I hadn’t paid for their seat. And assuming they are small enough.

yes indeed, but I was commenting on the people who have said that leaving the child sat in the seat will AUTOMATICALLY cause it to become an entitled brat.

What a ridiculous comment. If his “friends” mock him for being inconsiderate then they’re not the kind of friends worth having.

Even travelling on public transport as an adult, my friends and I would sit on each other’s laps to free up seats for other people; it’s just a thoughtful thing to do. Although thoughtfulness increasingly seems to be so last century.

If I'm doing a long journey with GC I pay for a ticket for him even though he doesn't need a ticket at his age. I do it so I can book seats for both of us. So some under fives may have a ticket.

I suspect a lot of the difference in views is down to the distances people travel by train.

What is the cut off age? I was on a packed bus with my 8 year old sat next to me, a man got on and demanded I put her on my lap so he could sit down ( was not priority seats!) I told him that I wouldn’t be doing that and he screamed abuse at me and called me a pig. Ironic thing was there was a woman opposite with a bag on the seat next to her but he didn’t ask her to move it.

Length of journey is very relevant. Popping a child on your lap for half an hour is very different to a five hour journey.