Children having their own seat on a packed train.

[user1493559472]

I am on a packed train. A child who is about 3 years old is sat in their own seat and not on the parents lap, would you ask to sit down and the child sits on parents lap? People were standing.
Thank you

It does if you’ve booked the seat.

I’d probably put my child on my lap and offer the seat to a standing passenger out of kindness but if they asked me to and expected then I’d say no.

It depends on good manners. Some entitled parents have none. A child travelling free should be on the lap of the parent.

I would not ask, no, because I have found that asking parents to show respect and thoughtfulness to their fellow passengers is not the done thing.

i would sit my 3 year old on my lap. If you are in the UK the 3 year old would not have had to pay for a ticket and, just like when they don’t on planes (up to 2 years iirc) they sit on their parents lap unless space is plentiful.

i would quietly seethe.

You think the OP booked a seat on a commuter train?

In most ways my dm was crap. However she would have made me sit on her knee to allow an adult to have a seat...
Recently in Edinburgh I made ds 10 perch on my knee to give a man a seat.

I would fully expect this but would not ask for it. I would just death stare haha

I had a parent get arsey at me over this. They had their toddler in my seat which they claimed was free. Except above the seat it said it was booked

Very good point -a lot of the time commuters pay thousands to get on the train and have to stand. So the commuter paying thing is a bit of a moot point.

Why would you seethe? For the umpteenth time, when our children were 3, we travelled to relatives across the UK regularly and always booked and paid for a seat for them. How would you know the person you were “seething” about hadn’t done the same?

I wouldn't ask them to move. The child isn't less entitled to a seat just because they are a child and a ticket doesn't entitle you to a seat.

Where does it say it’s a commuter train? Aren’t most commuters in work by nearly 10?

I think on many commuter trains booking a seat isn’t an option. So in the case of the OP this point matters. I don’t expect anyone ( adult or child) to give up a pre booked train. But all our trains into London don’t have bookable seats so this would never be the case.

I'm torn on this.

My child was extremely heavy at three and I was recovering from cancer so no I wouldn't. I suspect her dad would have put her on his lap however to make room.

Same, I would’ve automatically put child on my lap and released the seat.

If I were standing myself though, I wouldn’t have asked

I wouldn't ask, but I would consider the parent very rude for not doing it.

In the past, I've sat both my kids on one seat and stood over them, because that was a better compromise than me with a toddler on my lap, and the eldest trying not to fall over.

This.

Agree with this.

Also as another poster said, you’re not guaranteed a seat unless you have booked them with a train car letter, and a seat number, otherwise it is first come, first serve.

I don’t think small children should give up seats for able bodied adults. In fact I would expect my teenagers to give up their seat for a small child on the tube, etc - obviously I would too.

Have I missed op saying it’s a commuter train? I just read “packed”. We used to travel from East Anglia to Somerset or Cornwall and the rains were always packed, whatever time of day, usually with people sitting on their cases between carriages. Would have been mad to travel with kiddies without booking seats for everyone. I certainly wouldn’t have given their seats up for adults who had failed to think ahead, too.

A child under 5 in England travels for free. So should be on parents knee. If parents have bought a ticket then no.

Some 3 year old children can be too heavy to have on your lap for a long time. Young children should not stand as they can get thrown around the train and I notice on the tube that people usually stand for children. If you have trouble standing because of age or disability you can apply for a badge and can make people in certain seats stand up.

I wouldn't have a toddler stand, but I would give up my own seat and stand next to my child in the aisle (so child sitting in aisle seat) if it was busy and someone elderly or unstable looked like they needed a seat.

I wouldn’t ask but when I was little my parents would pop me and my brother on their laps on a busy train, they is no way they’d have us take up a seat if adults were standing. Mind you, this was the 70s so we were just grateful to get a break from going up chimneys, sleeping in coal sacks etc 😂

This. When mine were that age, I'd have told them to sit on my lap as soon as people began having to stand. And lots of people are less able to stand but don't want to make a fuss/ be seen to be that person so continue to stand in discomfort. So I'd willingly move my child onto my lap, but if someone hadn't then I'd be extremely reluctant to ask unless I was clearly very old, using a walking aid of some kind or pregnant.