Children having their own seat on a packed train.

[user1493559472]

I am on a packed train. A child who is about 3 years old is sat in their own seat and not on the parents lap, would you ask to sit down and the child sits on parents lap? People were standing.
Thank you

Exactly this.

I am surprised at the number of PPs disagreeing.

I’m the opposite - I would jump up and offer my seat for a young child! They need it more than I do.

I always sat my toddler age child on my lap on a busy train, but I would never ask someone to do this.

I just sit on the bags if they don't move them, amazingly they have always whisked them away before my bottom hits the seat. You can't do that with kids though, it's frowned upon. 😆 😆

The train companies sell far more tickets than there are seats full stop in the expectation that some passengers will have to stand (or sit on the floor). If you haven’t bothered to reserve a seat, then you are not entitled to one any more than the child without a reserved seat.

Yep. It's incredibly tricky.

If it's busy and my son's wheelchair is folded so he's sat on a train seat, he looks like a typical almost 10 year old boy but he can't even stand.

3 is getting to the cusp of being too big/heavy to sit on a lap for any length of time before the adult underneath gets a dead leg. Space is also getting tight in some of the airline type seats and no chance at a table seat, they wouldn't fit. If I had 2 kids I'd get them to share a 2 seat space with me but would struggle to have them on my lap for more than 10-15 minutes.

There's a distinct lack of "holding on" points for people shorter than 5'8 (I'm about 5'6 and can only reach vertical poles and seat backs on most trains).

A lot pay for a ticket for their child. I always did and reserved them a seat too.

I’d move my child onto my lap to make room for an adult. I think anyone with any manners would. Can’t believe there are people who wouldn’t, but then I haven’t used public transport in the UK for a long time. Where I am people give up their seats to older folk without being asked and make room for anyone standing.

It doesn't mean you get your seat even if reserved. I had to stand Cardiff to London as they'd rammed the train full and the train almost moved off without me when the guard said to move off to a different carriage then blew the whistle. I still need to claim for that.

Toddlers fit nicely in the luggage rack 👍

I'm feeling very old reading this thread. I was raised to stand for adults on public transport. As a parent, I have always pulled small children on my lap to allow someone else to sit. It's the decent thing to do.

I think it’s whoever gets on first. You don’t buy
a train ticket to get a seat it’s for the journey. Most often then not there isn’t room to put a kid on your lap without them then accidentally hitting the person in front or to the side. Most kids want their own seats and if you removed them would have a tantrum. Fair enough you can explain they can’t have their own seat as it’s busy but they most likely wouldn’t understand or have the empathy to sit on your lap without having tantrum still.

No of course not - the child has a paid seat!

What I do disagree with is people putting their bags on seats leading to people standing. A different issue, entirely.

Strictly speaking this is not correct. Children can travel for free on transport for London until they are 10 - surely people don’t expect parents to have a 10 year old on their lap. Even a 5 year old can be tricky.
@user1493559472 I wouldn’t expect parents to move their children for me to sit no. And wouldn’t ask. Depending on the circumstances I might move my 3 year old to my lap but not always.

I used to pay for a ticket (and reserve a seat) for mine at that age because it made life much easier and more comfortable.

So tricky! Hopefully we can all be a bit more forgiving of one another and not get arsey after making assumptions about one another's capabilities.

I once read that if you're stuck behind a really slow driver, pretend they have an elaborate wedding cake in the back so they're being extremely careful and cautious. How can you get annoyed at someone not wanting to ruin a wedding cake?! It's silly but it stuck with me - when I start getting annoyed by people in public, I try and think of a silly, harmless "reason" they're being that way. It does help... most of the time haha.

Failing that, you can have horrible thoughts in your head and as long as you don't say them out loud, nobody would ever know 😂

Don't be ridiculous

If a train is packed then I don't think a child no higher than your knees should be standing where literally everyone else is three times their height. They're getting too big for sitting on knees for any real amount of time at that age. On some trains there wouldn't be space either eg if there are tables.

I have never seen anywhere that free travel for under 5s carries and expectation that they will sit on someone's knees. That sounds made up.

On London Underground, children travel free with a parent up to the age of eleven - I do not agree with this rule and would not have a 10yo DC on my lap!

I don't think you can police this. You don't know if the child has sensory needs and would be pushed over the edge into melt-down without a seat, or whether the parent has had a knee operation or whatever. People who aren't selfish tossers are already taking up the least space they can. People who are selfish tossers are not going to get a personality transplant if you call them out. Your ticket gives you the right to be on the train, not a right to a seat.

Children should stand/sit on a parents lap. We always had to do so when we were children - why should it be any different now? It should be instinctive in parents to let other adults have a seat.

I couldn't begrudge a toddler (or their parent) a comfortable journey just so that I might have one instead.
Three year olds aren't the most reasonable people in the world. They tend to want to move about, just wriggle, to kick their legs. Being perched on someone's knee isn't an ideal situation for a length of time. Likewise, it's not comfortable for the adult to have to juggle the child and any bags they might have.
Public transport seating is very much first come, first served. Unless you have a designated space (either through reservation or disability), you're no more entitled to sit than anyone else. Children included.

But he travels for free by bus….

it says on the National Rail website that

Children under 5 years of age travel for free on most journeys but check with your train company to make sure. Please note, children under 5 who are travelling without a ticket may only occupy a seat that is not required by a fare-paying passenger. To have a reserved seat for a child under 5 you will need to purchase a child rate ticket. These come with seat reservations (if available), and there is also a 50% discount on most tickets.

So I would expect the parent to move them, assuming they hadn’t bought a ticket.

But she's only asking. If there is a good reason why the child can't sit on the parent's lap, the parent can always say so. Plenty of people on this thread have said they would automatically put their child on their lap if people are standing, so it's clearly not an outrageous thing to ask.

Plus a lot of train companies have it as a condition of carriage that small children sit on laps or get carried if adults need the seats, so asking the parent to comply with those conditions is entirely reasonable.