Children having their own seat on a packed train.

[user1493559472]

I am on a packed train. A child who is about 3 years old is sat in their own seat and not on the parents lap, would you ask to sit down and the child sits on parents lap? People were standing.
Thank you

Doubt it.

Complain to the train company and not the parents!

We are all paying expensive train fares and trains do not have enough carriages.

Not the parents to blame here!

I’ll bet there are plenty of seats beside people who currently think that their bag needs its own seat too.

What is wrong with people who want to take a childs seat. Children, disabled, pregnant ladies and elderly people get the seats first. Then everyone else can find a seat or stand. That is the way of a decent polite society.

That is true.
And having used trains in some European countries recently, if there are no seats left you cannot even buy a ticket, which would mean not travelling at all.

We had people get upset when we chose to let the kids have the seats and us adults stand - us as parents and even DGP - we don't drive do long public transport journey's - somestime when the kids were young they'd have walked a couple of miles and had more to do when we got off. It was easier for us for them to seat and rest - why any one flet need to comment in beyond me.

A PP says if it next stop on lap at 3 fine - but if it's multiple hours and we've bought and reseves a seat - why should we.

I don’t see why that’s unlikely, my work system always automatically books me a seat on the train, and it’s not uncommon for lots of other seats to be marked as reserved.

But I’m assuming OP didn’t because then her issue wouldn’t be “should a three year old sit on their parent’s lap” but “someone is sitting in my reserved seat”

I admitted that freely on the first page, but I still think the child deserves their own seat if they were there first.

If I was standing I wouldn't ask for a seat but I would put a young child on my lap.

I honestly think this thread just highlights the change of culture in the U.K. when I was younger people had more respect for each other, there was less sense of entitlement but we were all taught to respect adults and we’d always move / sit on a lap ( even when older than 3) for other adults.

society has changed, not always in a good way in my opinion. But I doubt you’d have had a 3 year old sitting on a seat alone whilst adults stood in the late 80/90s!

I wouldn't ask, but I would (and have) move my child onto my lap on a packed train. I did this relatively recently with my 5 year old on an hour long journey despite the fact she had a seat reservation. It's just good manners.

From the National Rail Website:
"Children under 5 years of age travel for free on most journeys but check with your train company to make sure. Please note, children under 5 who are travelling without a ticket may only occupy a seat that is not required by a fare-paying passenger. To have a reserved seat for a child under 5 you will need to purchase a child rate ticket. These come with seat reservations (if available), and there is also a 50% discount on most tickets."

So if the child (or more accurately, their parents) has bought a ticket, they've the same right to the seat as anyone else and shouldn't be asked to give it up. Otherwise they should be giving it up without even needing to be asked.

We travelled Edinburgh-London and back with our son when he was under 5, we bought a child ticket (we got a family & friends railcard which meant the additional cost was tiny) to guarantee a seat as didn't fancy him sitting on knees for over 4 hours!

I don't think the payment for a child is necessarily relevant. Children under 5 don't have to pay on trains in the UK, and in London they don't have to pay on tube and most trains until age 11, but you wouldn't expect a 10 year old to sit on a parent's lap just because they didn't pay. I also don't pay due to having a Freedom Pass, but I'm not going to sit on DH's lap!

Personally I don't put my 3 year old on my lap on trains and tubes, as she's quite big and it's uncomfortable. In this area I don't think there's a social expectation for her to sit on my lap - I've often had adults get up and offer a seat to my child when it's crowded, and I prefer to stand up and let her sit on her own, and that's what I see most adults do with younger kids.

Why is it good manners? You know nothing about the person who hasn't moved their child or why they are sat in their own seat?

I wouldn’t ask, no. If I was on a packed train I would probably put my young child on my lap if people were standing. If that wasn’t possible and there was a vulnerable person standing, I would offer my seat and stand myself.

Children are allowed on trains therefore are allowed a seat even if they are free to travel. Your ticket isn't a right to a seat, its the right to use the train. Unless you have a seat reservation, no one is entitled to a seat, its first come first served.

Its not about being inconvenienced. It will be uncomfortable for the child as well as the parent. Keeping an uncomfortable child on your lap, while making sure they don't accidently kick the person in the seat next to you while they wriggle isn't fun for anyone.

I wouldn't ask someone to do it as I wouldn't want to sit next to a wriggling child.

The same argument can be said to you - its your choice to get the train from the station you did so therefore why should someone who has got on before you and got a seat be inconvenienced by being asked to move.

Your choice to travel by train. Why should someone else stand just so you are not inconvenienced?

Also maybe Mum is pregnant and doesn't want a really heavy three year old squashed onto her on a moving train?

I really think train seats are first come first serve unless you have a reason you can't stand for a length of time.

I'm on the fence. I generally moved mine at that age.
But on long journeys I often paid for a seat for my toddler even though they could technically travel for free in order to be able to book two seats together because having a three year old on your knee from seven hours isn't fun.

No I wouldn’t, but I also wouldn’t expect another adult to have to stand to offer someone else’s child a seat, so it goes both ways. First come first served.

I wouldn’t ask; the parent might have reasons they can’t have the child on their lap, and if they’re doing more than a short journey, it could get very uncomfortable for the parent. The child will likely also be more comfortable in their own seat. If you need to sit down, ask someone to move from one of the seats dedicated for the use of the elderly etc.

As a parent, yes the child should sit on the mum or dad's lap. I don't understand this mentality of children having priority over adults, I personally think it raises entitled brats who aren't respectful. However, I wouldn't ask someone to move their child as there are a lot of aggressive entitled people out there and I wouldn't like the confrontation

It can be uncomfortable to stand for a long train journey.
It can be uncomfortable to have a three year old on your lap for a long train journey.

So, provided no one involved has booked a seat or has any disabilities, I think it’s just first come first served as to who gets to be more comfortable.

I don’t know if I would ask the child to move, but mine sure as hell wouldn’t be sitting while an adult stood, unless for some good reason I couldn’t take him/her on my lap.

As a fully grown and able adult, I wouldn't be asking a small child to give up their seat. Get over yourself.