Children having their own seat on a packed train.

[user1493559472]

I am on a packed train. A child who is about 3 years old is sat in their own seat and not on the parents lap, would you ask to sit down and the child sits on parents lap? People were standing.
Thank you

If I were travelling with the child I would sit them on my lap but I wouldn’t ask the parent to move them.

According to the railway rules quoted above ONLY if the seat is not required by a fare paying passenger

Fair question. Sometimes I will have given my child a seat which standing myself, other times the other way around. Probably changed with age I’d say. When he was, say, 8 and we’d walked a lot, I’d have given him a seat while I stood. Now he is a hulking 13 year old nearly as tall as me and with much more energy, and who will generally have been sitting down at school most of the day, I’d be more likely to make him stand while I took the free seat!

How do you know the parents havent paid for an extra seat? I used to for my ds as no way would he have sat on my lap without having a screaming tantrum.

Had many a CF ask for the seat. I would show them his ticket and request they book a seat in future if they tried to get cheeky.

Children are people too and it would be far more dangerous for them to stand.

As a rule I’d move my older children to my lap or stand up to be polite however I would not automatically do that with my youngest due to unseen medical issues I have, so I may well come across as a rude parent. I’d always make myself uncomfortable for someone who looked worse off than me ( elderly, pregnant, physically disabled) but not for a random adult who looks perfectly capable of standing.

How can a three year old feel entitled because they are sitting down on a train? At that age they probably have zero understanding of the social constructs around the situation. They might even feel that its not fair for them to have to sit when all the grownups have the fun of standing oon the train?

I would never ask. But as a parent I would have automatically pulled my child onto my lap at that age if I saw someone standing.

Also, I don’t think the fact of whether or not the child’s seat is paid for is relevant. There is no charge for young children, but that doesn’t make them less entitled to a seat. Here in NI people over 60 get free travel. Does that mean they aren’t entitled to a seat?

Some people LOOK perfectly able to stand, but in fact aren't. Me being one of them.

That's not the expectation at all. Where does it say that children under 5 need to sit on parents lap when you buy a ticket?

OAPs get concessionary tickets, does that mean they get less right to a seat than a full paying customer?

No, of course not.

Children under 5
Children under 5 years of age travel for free on most journeys but check with your train company to make sure. Please note, children under 5 who are travelling without a ticket may only occupy a seat that is not required by a fare-paying passenger. To have a reserved seat for a child under 5 you will need to purchase a child rate ticket. These come with seat reservations (if available), and there is also a 50% discount on most tickets.

I think on a busy commuter train the child should go on a lap - unless there’s a good reason they can’t which you wouldn’t know by just looking.

I wouldn’t ask them to put the child on their lap because you don’t know if the parent does have a medical reason etc why they can’t be sat on.

If I had a half hour journey then I might put my three year old on my lap. If I was travelling for eight hours with a three year old then absolutely not. And bear in mind if we are leaving London in rush hour we might well already be six hours into our journey as London is a significant change point. I would very unimpressed if someone who was travelling just half an hour up the line told me to put my exhausted three year old on my lap during a long journey.

My kids and I usually squish into a row of 2, so putting the little one on my lap wouldn't make a difference. I don't make them move for other passengers unless they look vulnerable/like they need a seat. If an older or otherwise vulnerable adult comes on the bus or train, I will stand myself and make my kids sit cross-legged on the floor.

Most train companies allow under 5's to travel free, with the expectation that in busy times they sit on their parents lap.

I did used to book a seat for DC on long journeys when they were under 5.

According to the railway rules quoted above ONLY if the seat is not required by a fare paying passenger

We perhaps have more respect for Kinder nowadays.

Same

Ah, fair enough. I just checked the situation here in NI and it’s exactly the same. It’s kind of irrelevant to me in that I would always have sat my child on my knee if an adult was standing, but interesting to know there are actual rules about it.

I would be interested to know if there is any evidence for this new idea that it is far more dangerous for children to stand.
In some situations it’s more difficult because they can’t reach the strap or handle they’re meant to hold on by, but generally they have less far to fall, are more stable because they are shorter and are likely to recover much quicker from any minor injuries than an elderly person.

You thinking something doesn't make it so.

I wouldn't ask someone to move unless I had booked a specific seat. I think the "rules" are that children travel free and are entitled to a seat if no-one else who has paid to travel actually needs it though, here in Scotland at least.

I wouldn't stand to offer a seat to a child either unless it was eg mum with little one who she could bring onto her lap.

Of course not.

I wouldn't.

This is a reason why I hate public transport. I recently got on an incredibly busy train in the summer holidays to the point my son's wheelchair had to be folded as his was the 3rd wheelchair to get on and DH carried him to an available seat.

The train got busier and someone asked my son to stand up and had the audacity to roll his eyes when I quickly jumped in and pointed out that the folded up wheelchair belongs to my son and he's unable to stand. There was no way I was moving him to sit on my knee making us both uncomfortable but even more so after how rude he was about my son's mobility issues.

Will always travel by car now, it's completely put me off.

Yes.

Of course.

The correct thing to do in a crowded train should be to get as many people as possible to travel as comfortably as possible.

It's much, much better for the average child to sit on the average adult's lap comfortably than to leave someone standing on a train for a long period of time.