Children having their own seat on a packed train.

[user1493559472]

I am on a packed train. A child who is about 3 years old is sat in their own seat and not on the parents lap, would you ask to sit down and the child sits on parents lap? People were standing.
Thank you

How ridiculous that a 3 year old gets their own seat,whilst adults stand! Children now are brought up to be rude and entitled,not taught any manners.I would have told the adult to move the child,no pandering from me.

Why would an able bodied adult need a seat more than a vulnerable, small 3 year old?

Surely that depends on the journey as well as the ability of the parent as others have pointed out what about a mum who's a few weeks past a section, or other abdominal surgery? The first train stop from our station where I live to the next is just under an hour, do you expect my almost 3 year old (who is the size of a 4/5 Yr old) to sit on my knee for that length of time? Plus bags?

The other thing is, if you raise your kids to be considerate to others, I find they grow up popular. Who wants to raise selfish adults with sharp elbows and a “why should I “ attitude. That attitude is seen by others.

Hmm, aren’t the adults expecting someone to move so they can have a seat the selfish ones?

I wouldn’t expect them to do that. If they want to, that’s fine, but kids are people too, and if they have a seat, they have a seat.

So just to check when you pay to reserve the aisle seat you want on an airplane but a family with small kids comes along who haven’t booked in advance and now need to sit together as kid is too small to sit alone then you wouldn’t be rude and entitled but would graciously move to a less comfortable middle seat to facilitate them? Or in that case you’d think they should have been better organised and booked seats together if that was what they wanted? Just curious

With what authority? Do you usually go around demanding people give up their seats for you?

I agree completely about compassion and care for others, but I also don't want to raise my child to believe that they must automatically defer to any adult who makes a demand of them and I want them to grow up with confidence and positive self esteem which involves believing you are entitled to take up some space in this world.

As far as I can tell from this thread, op is (unless I'm wrong) an able bodied adult who has felt entitled to a seat occupied by a young child when she has no idea of that child or parents circumstances, the day they've had, invisible health conditions they may have etc. I think often people expect children to make space for them or become smaller/quieter/ more compliant etc to suit them but we don't expect this of any other adult and really, that's because children are very, very convenient to expect this of because we can exert power over them and they are so much less able to advocate for themselves. And I think that's really sad and is why as a society I'm glad that more people are starting to have a more child centered approach. I think we're very far behind a lot of other countries in that respect and it plays out in other areas relating to child wellbeing. There's a balance between teaching your child to be helpful to others, while still teaching them that actually their needs are also important and its OK for them to advocate for themselves no matter who that's with.

The problem of course is that, much as people might like to dig in their heels, no one really wants to sit next to an unaccompanied 3yo.

No they probably don’t but equally I don’t think anyone who says no to moving is being rude or entitled and I wouldn’t disagree that people on planes with kids should really book seats together. Ultimately if there are reservations available anyone with a ticket can choose to book them and if they don’t then realistically it’s not reasonable to expect someone else to fix that for them by making their own journey less comfortable.

I would put my under 5s on my lap on crowded trains or buses. Had to do ot just a couple of weeks ago. That way three people get to sit on two seats.

Yeah, and I’d tell you to fuck off (or similar).

No pandering from me.

It's a nice gesture for the adult to have the child sit on their knee if they are willing, but bear in mind that it's very uncomfortable to do this for an extended period of time. I'd probably prefer to stand if it was going to last more than 20min.

No, normal mums with common sense. Admitedly, senseseemed to be more common in the past than now, however. Of course we were not perfect but we can all learn from each other. Feel free to try my suggestion with your child if the need should arise.

You’re actually the one who needs to learn manners here. You wanting to have a 3 year old (someone who will be more unstable than you) stand while you, an able bodied adult can have a seat is pretty pathetic.

If someone asked me to move my 3 year old and you were able bodied, i’d say no.

If you were disabled/pregnant etc, i would offer to give you my seat while I happily stand.

My mum also complained about this on buses once and it was definitely a ‘i demand respect because i’m an adult’ thing rather than ‘i need a seat’.

That isn’t what National Rail says.

Children under 5
Children under 5 years of age travel for free on most journeys but check with your train company to make sure. Please note, children under 5 who are travelling without a ticket may only occupy a seat that is not required by a fare-paying passenger.

Only people on mumsnet actually pay for seats on planes though. Most people on flights haven’t paid for specific seats so it’s an imagined problem. People with kids absolutely shouldn’t have to pay more than everyone else.

Oh give over, this stuff was parroted earlier.

Whatever it says in some ridiculous small print from the 70’s this is not how railways in 2025 operate.

They do tell utterly selfish twats to move their bags, however. And in real life the actual ‘entitled’ get arsey about that,

Funny it’s on the NR website then. I didn’t think the internet was invented in the 70s.

https://www.nationalrail.co.uk/on-the-train/train-travel-with-children/

The rule is from the 70’s 🤣

Jeez this is hard work. I’ve travelled a lot on the train in different companies over the past 30 years never have I heard a guard ask someone to move a child.

There is a lot of guff in terms and conditions, that is just an example of it.

National rail don’t run any trains.

A three year old can’t stand safely in a moving train. You are assuming the parent/adult is able to accommodate them on their lap - big assumption.
If you’d TOLD the adult to move the child, I don’t doubt you’d have received short shrift and looked like a bit of an idiot.

Yes my personal experience is much more of seats being taken up by bags than by little kids when trains are busy.