Teacher told my child that child is not a Muslim

[Jkam24]

My daughter has recently started reception and asked me today if our family are Muslims, to which I said yes. She then started crying saying her teacher told her that she (my daughter) is not a Muslim. Is it unreasonable to be angry about this?

My hate of what? This is your personal issue. As I've said already, the comment you are imagining happened would have no bearing on your child's religion, should it be true and it wouldn't have achieved anything for someone with an agenda.

Your child is not fallible and clearly you feel hasn't recounted the interaction without being overcome by emotion surrounding the whole topic. You were not there. You can ask for clarification or you can jump straight to accepting that if it sounds nonsensical, it likely is. Not everyone is out to get you and if you think all different opinions or disagreement are discriminatory as a matter of course, you're going to have massive problems as she moves through school.

@soupyspoon it was not a veiled comment, it was an implication of something that may have happened. It is not a microaggression to question whether something has phobic undertones. Can't see where I've tried to shut people up - please continue!

I feel like there's a whole load of context missing here. The conversation as the OP posted it is quite a bizarre exchange, there must be more to it than that.

The grammar school teacher from Batley is still in hiding and has PTSD. He was cleared of any wrong doing but it looks like his life and that of his children are ruined

I’d put money on it. It was said without thought I expect, not meant maliciously, just foolishness

What's an implication of something that may have happened?

One of mine told his teacher his nan was in prison

She wasnt-he'd overheard his father saying she'd MOVED almost next to it!

That took some explaining...

This x100

We don't know what the teacher said but it's doubtful it would be that.

@GeorgeClooneyshouldhavemarriedme not intending to have a go at the teacher hence I posted here and accepted that I should just talk to her with an open mind. Why are people so hostile and aggressive on here?

Hopefully, it is just a mix-up in communication. Don't feel awkward about raising it with the teacher. I had to query numerous things with my son's teacher at that age, and every time, he had misunderstood something (and he was supposedly one of the brightest in the class!).

If it turns out your daughter is correct, then, of course, you have every right to be angry and should take it further. Please let us know how you get on.

I don't think it's unbelievable but I think it's likely due to a misunderstanding or a mistake which should be easy enough to clear up. The OP is asking if it's reasonable to be angry and subsequent posts suggest she suspects there is prejudice at play but I don't think she has enough information to justify either her anger or suspicion just yet and assuming the worst before approaching the teacher for clarification is not particularly helpful.

Yep. I have just read the recent stuff. OP pull the thread if I were you. Mumsnet is full of them derailing it to get a chance at bashing you because dare you bring up an issue related to being Muslim. You have people telling you it can’t be true, someone saying your child is crying because of how you are raising them not the interaction at school and then irrelevant opinions about whether a 4 year old can identify as Muslim. Honestly seek help elsewhere because as I said Islamophobia isn’t an existing issue according MNS.

You’re going to go up to the teacher and ask her if she said your child is not a Muslim?

Grow up.

Thank you everyone! I will have a conversation with her tomorrow and will think hard on making sure I'm not framing it like an accusation. Will update but I'm almost 98% sure I got irritated over nothing and that the conversation was completely misunderstood rather than some form of trying to tell a child they can't have a religion because they're too young or whatever other potential motivation there may have been.

Oh come on, her DD was upset, why wouldn’t she ask what happened.

Ugh we have had this a few times, mainly in the dinner hall with the serving staff trying to stipulate which option the child was allowed based on their skin colour e.g. "no you can't have that you need the halal option" or trying to give a black child the non halal option. I (the teacher) had some choice words.

I would be concerned if they are making snap judgements based on skin colour though and would be questioning this.

That said my (white non religious) came home in reception and asked if he was a Muslim so you know, kids 🤷

If your child doesn't know how do you hope her teacher will know? I have a child the same age, they come out with some hilarious imaginative stuff when you ask them about their day, I'd take what your child says with a pinch of salt.

Thanks @teaandyarn and @BluntPlumHam I think you've hit the nail on the head - naively didn't think a mum community would be straight bashing but learnt my lesson! Not everyone can be reasonable and nuanced without getting worked up because it is a religion related topic. I'm going to leave it up so others can see what people are like on here. And again thanks to those who answered critically without rudeness or bias.

Well done, go in with an open mind, I'm sure that it will be cleared up.
I don't doubt that teachers and other professionals might hold some unpleasant personal views, I doubt they would be stupid enough to share a private opinion, especially with DC, it would be career ending.
Let us know, if the thread survives. 💐

@40andlovelife correction I'll have a polite conversation with her to get a feel of what happened and then everyone will get on with their lives. Who hurt you people 🤣

From experience, you've got to approach the conversation with the assumption that your child got confused. Even if you think it's unlikely she got confused, try and convince yourself that she was probably confused, and this will help you to keep your emotions calm and controlled (some of the other posters may scoff, but I don't care, it is very easy to get emotional when we send our little babies off to school and they come home saying someone's been funny with them!) So just tell yourself "she's obviously got a bit confused, she's obviously got a bit confused", then say to the teacher, "My daughter was a bit upset yesterday, as she said that you'd told her she's not Muslim? So I don't know if she's got confused or something, but I just wanted to make sure you know we are Muslim". Keep your tone inquisitive and your smile friendly.

@Pdam I do not hope her teacher will know, rather I hope her teacher wouldn't seem it appropriate to dictate either way whether a child should follow a belief system or not.

@CatrionaBalfour apologies yes she has been registered with her religion, but I don't expect teachers to know all the children's religion with the thousand other things they have to do. My main concern was what I've mentioned above.

I think it is a miss understanding.
Possibly your child said ‘am I a Muslim, miss?’ And the teacher replied ‘I don’t know.’ Your child only heard ‘know’.
Or perhaps your child said ‘I’m a Muslim, is my friend Muslim too?’ And the teacher said no.

I bet she said something like @to me you are not Muslim, you are a lovely child called [child’s name]” I bet she meant well. I hope so anyway.