To be annoyed that my employer won’t let me go part time?

[Topoftheroof]

I currently work full time 5 days a week. I made a flexible working request to go part time to 2 days a week because of personal circumstances (family circumstances) but it was declined. I’m annoyed though because there are other people (2 other people) working in the company only 2 days a week so it’s not unheard of. But they won’t consider it because I’m a head of department (not in a school and nothing to do with education or academics) and they also won’t give me another role in the company either which can be 2 days a week. I feel like I could cry with stress, I can’t afford to not work at all but can’t work 5 days a week at the moment either due to circumstances. I explained on my request that part time 2 days a week might not be permanent but they still declined the request. Both my boss and the managing director are always moaning that they “dread the day” I leave because “there’s no one in the business as good as” me so it’s baffling to me that they wouldn’t approve the 2 days a week knowing that I can’t work full time 5 days a week at the moment but then at the same time always say that they don’t want me to leave the company and would do anything to stop me leaving. I haven’t decided if I should appeal it yet or not, I don’t know what to do. I’m just really upset and have been crying about it because I can’t afford not to work at all and can’t do full time at the moment either. I’m also very annoyed with my employer too for rejecting the request. AIBU to be annoyed with my employer about this?

Not that it fully resolves your issue with needing to reduce hours, but have you been given a fostering allowance as Social Services have removed the children. If not do push for one, it may mean a financial assessment, but you should absolutely not be pushed into poverty for this, and also check you are getting what you are entitled to on turn2us or entitledto. If the children have been left needing more support than their peers and for longer than a 6 month period and it will continue you can claim DLA, even without a diagnosis of anything.

I hope you are allowed to reduce your hours as that is a lot to deal with. You are amazing!

They are a business and whatever you say about you being able to do your job in two days, that actually won’t work for them as a HOD they need you in five days

why don’t you see if they would reduce your hours each day so do perhaps 2/3rds of your current daily hours and see if that works? Then maybe ask to reduce to 5x half day

the other alternative is to go ahead and find another role that does 2 days, good luck on that

These are the circumstances

You're going to need the full time job back at some point as the fostering may be temporary. Hire a nanny or au pair part time to do school runs etc. Without a partner you will need someone else to support. There's an organisation that employs older women to care for kids after school etc. unless you're ready to move on accept it.

Will the foster care money not replace your wages? I thought people were paid for foster care?

After looking at my bills, outgoings and mortgage etc I have worked out that I can’t afford to not work at all.

Any flexible working request must not be to the detriment of the business so you can understand them being concerned about such a big jump from 5 days to 2 days. 3 days may be more workable
for them.

Are any of the children disabled?

Are you adopting or could you adopt them and take adoption leave?

Can you get foster payments at all from the council?

Could you take parental leave, at least in the short term? You can take I think 4 weeks per child per year and if the child is disabled you can take it in chunks of individual days. So if you went down to 3 days a week using parental leave that would cover almost a year (4 kids x 2O days each = 80 days or 2 days a week for 40 weeks ).

Obviously your employer still needs to agree it but they can't refuse it entirely, they can only delay it.

It’s long term kinship fostering with a view of moving to SGO.

But the 4th child I am taking on is a 6 month old who is not in nursery yet. 2 of the children that I have currently are in school and the 3rd is in nursery but I struggle to work full time currently so I definitely can’t work full time once I have the 4th child.

This is the industry that I work in too.

So you can fulfil you entire role - the work you do now - in 2 days? How?

Seriously? How have you not noticed that you're quoting yourself here?

Deleted as meant to report

I know that I was quoting myself. As some posters were asking questions that I had already answered on previous comments so I was quoting my old comments so that they would see that I had answered the question previously, sorry

Only if you're sitting doing nothing 3/5th of the time!

Wouldn’t you be entitled to some kind of maternity leave type equivalent given the age of the 4th foster child?

It sounds a highly stressful situation and, to be quite honest, I am somewhat surprised that social services would place 4 children of such young ages with a single working carer. What do they expect you to do? How do they expect you to support these children / house them and manage the stress alone? Is it the right choice to take on a six month old when your entire career is potentially on the line in order to facilitate it?

You are head of department, so do other employees report into you? I wouldn't be impressed if my head of department wasnt there for 3 days a week. You mentioned some of your work being covered - so another employee doing your work.....would they get more money?
You may well have to look for another job.

They are not required to offer you an alternative role.

Flexible working requests can be rejected based on the needs of the business. You say your job can be done in 2 days. So realistically are you sat about doing nothing for 3 days a week? If the answer is no, then you cannot day your job can be done in 2 days.

There are very few companies that would allow a department head to drop to 2 days a week. Unfortunately you either need to put together a better argument and offer of how you will cover the role in less days/hours or find another job. For example, if they wont permit you to drop to 2 days a week. Can you negotiate to work 50% of you hours across 5 days and then flex when those hours are done, i.e. Monday Wednesday Friday working 8-1 and Tuesday Thursday 1-5.

Can other family members not help with this?

It's admirable that you want to keep the children together, but if one else in the family is able to step-up, it's not fair on you.

In my honest opinion, don't do this. The children have been through enough, the whole dynamic will change if you take the baby.

Let the baby be fostered elsewhere to start with, with the proviso the siblings will have regular contact, maybe the baby staying with you and their siblings at weekend etc., and with a view to them moving to you permanently in a couple of years.

I say this as an adopter to a child who had siblings, so I am not saying it lightly.

Can the local authority offer an allowance to help you keep the children. I know some do when pushed. It is far far cheaper than paying for a standard foster carer and they're less likely to keep them together too. It sounds like if work don't agree to provide you with something suitable you won't be able to take the baby.

How on earth would you be able to squeeze 40 hours of work per week into 16 hours per week??? I’m not sure you understand what you are suggesting here…as you are basically saying you believe your employer is paying you to do nothing for the majority of your current work time

It’s admirable that you’re caring for these children, but being the (sole?) provider to four children and telling your employer that you’re basically only productive for 40% of your working week is a stupid and very short-sighted move.

I could have a meeting with them about 3 days a week instead and see what they say but I’d need to see if I could make 3 days a week work first.

This

Keep negotiating. Ask again for three days. If they refuse, ask again requesting 4 days.

If they refuse again ask for a pay rise and start looking for something else.

If they genuinely couldn’t do without you, you would hope they would met one of your requests.