To be annoyed that my employer won’t let me go part time?

[Topoftheroof]

I currently work full time 5 days a week. I made a flexible working request to go part time to 2 days a week because of personal circumstances (family circumstances) but it was declined. I’m annoyed though because there are other people (2 other people) working in the company only 2 days a week so it’s not unheard of. But they won’t consider it because I’m a head of department (not in a school and nothing to do with education or academics) and they also won’t give me another role in the company either which can be 2 days a week. I feel like I could cry with stress, I can’t afford to not work at all but can’t work 5 days a week at the moment either due to circumstances. I explained on my request that part time 2 days a week might not be permanent but they still declined the request. Both my boss and the managing director are always moaning that they “dread the day” I leave because “there’s no one in the business as good as” me so it’s baffling to me that they wouldn’t approve the 2 days a week knowing that I can’t work full time 5 days a week at the moment but then at the same time always say that they don’t want me to leave the company and would do anything to stop me leaving. I haven’t decided if I should appeal it yet or not, I don’t know what to do. I’m just really upset and have been crying about it because I can’t afford not to work at all and can’t do full time at the moment either. I’m also very annoyed with my employer too for rejecting the request. AIBU to be annoyed with my employer about this?

What about job share. I bet there would be someone in the company who would love the opportunity to work 3 days a week.

I did read her initial comments that she could easily so her job in 2 days! Only in later posts was it mentioned that some other tasks could be reallocated. If 3 days work can easily be reallocated, it means the people picking up this work are under utilised, or the employer would have to employ someone else at additional expense. As an employer I would not be making these adjustments.

What you're saying is that your job can't be done in 2 day but you'd like to cherry pick the important stuff and dump the rest elsewhere. I'm sure the recipients will be most grateful.

You have a difficult decision to make obviously but it seems very clear that as much as you would like/feel the need to take child 4, it's not possible without materially affecting your ability to provide for the 3 you already have. Unless you can pay for a nanny/au pair to cover your working week? Whether you work in the office or from home.

You can't keep repeating the same fact and hope it gets you the answer you want.

Why should other people have to take on extra work on top of their own so op can do the important stuff (but not be present as a manager) - it just wouldnt work

So basically, literally no,other solution,than two days a week. Not even the most skilled and qualified and experienced of nannies/expert childcare is of no use?

She already said they rejected that.

Was thinking the exact same! I don’t think I’d be saying ‘you’re paying me for 5 but I can do it in 2’ unbelievable

I assume you are fostering and about to take on another baby?

I would just mention to you that you are making some pretty dramatic decisions around your work, and by definition your capacity for earning (outside of what you are paid for fostering).
Be careful you don’t end up compromising your capacity to ‘care’ due to financial constraints. That would be terribly sad.

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I don't understand why a nanny wouldn't work for the baby? A 6-month-old baby's needs/trauma can't be so severe that a nanny couldn't help with childcare (unless serious disability is involved of course)

If a nanny is not an option, what on earth are you planning to do with a 6 month old baby on your working days?

Is that true? That’s outrageous. Why is the assumption made that because you are related to the children you are fostering then there will be no additional costs involved for the fosterer?

According to this charity for kinship foster carers, there is support but it appears to be discretionary and tied to specific circumsatnces where the local authority would otherwise have the children in care...https://kinship.org.uk/support-and-advice/advice-and-information/kinship-foster-carers-financial-support-and-benefits/
I think the issue appears to be that there isn't a nationally agreed scheme; and support isn't available if the children are voluntarily in kinship care - the children need to be in local authority care, and then placed with relatives as part of that. It seems to be a bit of a dogs breakfast in terms of how it works. But I can equally see that there needs to be some structure, otherwise what is to stop everyone "giving their kids to a relative" who then claim allowances to do look after them. There's more than enough threads about disabled people / parents of disabled children, people who won't/can't work and how they are all a bunch of frauds / we can't afford them. Can you imagine the "my neighbour claims to be raising her sister's five children, but actually they spend most of their time at their mum's and they are raking the £'s in..." threads?

There's a national pilot going on at the moment to try to regularise the system for kinship carers, and accoding to the DfE who are running it the payments match the current allowances for those qualifying (i.e. those where the children would be in care otherwise, I believe) and weekly payments are £170 to £299 depending on the child's age and location.

Ok look for another job and then jack your notice in. If they counter offer . Decline and move on
if you accept a counter offer. They will make your life hell