To be annoyed that my employer won’t let me go part time?

[Topoftheroof]

I currently work full time 5 days a week. I made a flexible working request to go part time to 2 days a week because of personal circumstances (family circumstances) but it was declined. I’m annoyed though because there are other people (2 other people) working in the company only 2 days a week so it’s not unheard of. But they won’t consider it because I’m a head of department (not in a school and nothing to do with education or academics) and they also won’t give me another role in the company either which can be 2 days a week. I feel like I could cry with stress, I can’t afford to not work at all but can’t work 5 days a week at the moment either due to circumstances. I explained on my request that part time 2 days a week might not be permanent but they still declined the request. Both my boss and the managing director are always moaning that they “dread the day” I leave because “there’s no one in the business as good as” me so it’s baffling to me that they wouldn’t approve the 2 days a week knowing that I can’t work full time 5 days a week at the moment but then at the same time always say that they don’t want me to leave the company and would do anything to stop me leaving. I haven’t decided if I should appeal it yet or not, I don’t know what to do. I’m just really upset and have been crying about it because I can’t afford not to work at all and can’t do full time at the moment either. I’m also very annoyed with my employer too for rejecting the request. AIBU to be annoyed with my employer about this?

You can’t have a big responsibility like head of dept and only be there two days a week. What if a decision needs to be made on your day off?
also if you can fit it all into two days like you said what are you actually doing for the rest of the week?
Personally I think you need to step down into a non leadership role- you can’t be a good leader and a victim at the same time.

I guess you can be annoyed if you like but it's their decision & you talking your way out of a job completely! As an aside sounds like you taking too much on at home and how will you support 4 kids working 2 day week?

Ignore this I didn’t read the whole thread and now I can’t delete it!

A lot of people want to adjust hours after DC but it's a request not a done deal Op, legally you can ask but they aren't obliged to agree. If you work two days and the rest of your work is handed out to other staff how is it fair for you to get paid for five days?

OP that's different. You're job can't be done in 2 days, if it involves redistribution of a large portion of your work on to others.
Team morale would be impacted and their productivity dipped, and maybe they feel your lens of just because you've planned to divide it out doesn't match the teams current bandwidth, responsibility levels and ownership and oversight. This doesn't sound like a leader either, give all my work to the team without considering the impact on that team.
As a senior ops leader if not sign this plan off.
Because it's not doable within 2 days as it stands now.

But live made other suggestions to you about how you make it more appealing to organising but restructuring the time off request to make it more palatable (above).

Other things to consider:

• would they allow you to do a sabbatical?
• can they offer you adoption leave?
• can you take a fixed term unpaid leave/parental so your job is their to return to
• can you use your annual leave in a smart way to shorten your weeks for a period of time?
• could you compress your hours to 3 or 4 days?
• could you split your work day do do an early shift and late shift and have more time free for the important child hours? (Longer days overall but more flexibility).

I'm so sorry that you're doing something admirable and finding it so tough to practically organise. This is a life changing decision, but it's very tough on your employer as they don't have to accomodate such a wildly different circumstance even though dependants are one of the core reasons they could offer flexible working.
You are not unreasonable to feel overstretching and upset but I do think the 2 days thing is unreasonable to the business and just because you've decided it's ok, doesn't actually mean it is. Your proposal isn't fair on your team.

You keep saying that you could do your current 5 day a week job in 2 days a week. That’s something your employer is going to take notice of; you are telling them you have no where near enough to do which is a dangerous thing to say!

EDIT - just seen you meant via a job share, my mistake.

I don't u destined how your current job which is 5 days a weeks can be done in 2? Will you work longer hours in the 2 days ? Will there be less work? Genuinely confused x

Sorry, haven’t read the whole thread, but could you go to 3 days a week and potentially be “on call” for the other 2? Have your phone available during working hours so if they need you then they can ring?
Also, I’m not sure but don’t you get what is essentially maternity leave for adopting? Could this give you some breathing room? If the baby is 6 months old, would they be eligible for the 9 month funding soon?

I really don't see how you can argue that you could do your current job in only 2 days but that you couldn't wfh for some of the full-time role as it's "complex".

This. And telling them you could do your full time job that they are currently paying you for in two days a week is a bit risky say the least.

@Topoftheroof- I would go back and offer 4 days a week but with 2 working from home. To be reviewed after 6 months and agreement you’ll go back up to full time or 4 days in the office if targets aren’t met / it is having a negative impact on the wider team /your direct reports.

(then I’d make sure my WFH days both followed an office day, end of office day have a number of emails ready to send in my drafts, log in on wfh days to send them a couple of times though the day, check nothing has turned up you need to deal with and treat it as an easy day.)

Jesus, okay! I don’t work in TV production, how would I know? I was trying to be helpful unlike the millions of others who keep telling she’s BU but not offering anything.
And, like I said, I wasn’t sure about the adoption thing.

If someone had tried hard to go down to two days a week because anything more was impossible due to childcare, then they came back with a plan that involved a lot of WFH, I'm afraid I'd be super suspicious that they'd be looking after DC on those working days. In the situation the OP describes, I think it's going to need a bigger solution rather than tweaking a bit here and there. Either she needs to not take on the 4th DC, or change her role to a more viable 2 day job elsewhere or find a way to make it work with professional childcare. Trying to adapt a HoD role in TV production to being sole carer for 4 very young DC with complex needs is too much to expect of an employer or of herself.

WFH is tricky because of the children and also the baby I’m taking too.

Sorry I am reading all these replies. I’ll respond properly later on. I’m still trying to work out what to suggest to my employer and the MD.

Yes okay. Sorry, my mistake, but what I was suggesting was that she does the extra day plus offering her employers her skills on the other two while being at home. If OPs work is allocated to others then she can still be somewhat available if said others need advice.

Anyway, I didn’t mean to be so snippy when I replied earlier, so my apologies.

Longer hours wouldn’t work unfortunately.

You are between a rock and hard place. If I was your boss I wouldn't be able to support your application. And if my siblings had children I needed to care for, of course I'd step up. But honestly I think your job and the DC needs are incompatible. You need to take a moment to think, talk this through with real life support and figure out what you are best able to do. Its not your employers responsibility to deal with your family issues.

If you can offer 3 days it might help otherwise sounds like you will have to give in your notice is there nobody else who can help out? It seems mad that foster care system is letting you have these 4 kids working full time. When I applied to foster they wouldn’t even consider me unless I had at least 2 people to support me. This was only for weekend relief. I understand kids need to be kept together but any human would struggle with 4 kids and work full time. If you need to be at home 3 days a week you’re going to have to decide what is best for you and the kids? Could you claim UC?
if the shoe was on the other foot and your employer wanted to reduce you down to 2 from 5 and expected you to maintain your workload and you had no responsibility would you not be pissed off. I hope you get sorted for the kids sake but your employer isn’t responsible for your choices even though they are for good reason.

So do all your work for the week Monday and Tuesday and then show them that actually they don't need you 5 days a week and that you're a piss taker who's been essentially stealing money from them by being paid for 5 days a week work but only doing 2!