To be annoyed that my employer won’t let me go part time?

[Topoftheroof]

I currently work full time 5 days a week. I made a flexible working request to go part time to 2 days a week because of personal circumstances (family circumstances) but it was declined. I’m annoyed though because there are other people (2 other people) working in the company only 2 days a week so it’s not unheard of. But they won’t consider it because I’m a head of department (not in a school and nothing to do with education or academics) and they also won’t give me another role in the company either which can be 2 days a week. I feel like I could cry with stress, I can’t afford to not work at all but can’t work 5 days a week at the moment either due to circumstances. I explained on my request that part time 2 days a week might not be permanent but they still declined the request. Both my boss and the managing director are always moaning that they “dread the day” I leave because “there’s no one in the business as good as” me so it’s baffling to me that they wouldn’t approve the 2 days a week knowing that I can’t work full time 5 days a week at the moment but then at the same time always say that they don’t want me to leave the company and would do anything to stop me leaving. I haven’t decided if I should appeal it yet or not, I don’t know what to do. I’m just really upset and have been crying about it because I can’t afford not to work at all and can’t do full time at the moment either. I’m also very annoyed with my employer too for rejecting the request. AIBU to be annoyed with my employer about this?

I know you said you have to take in the 4th child, but it doesn’t sound like that’s a responsible thing to do. If you can’t afford it and are already struggling with the 3 you have.

Why can’t you continue working full time and hire a nanny / mothers help? Your only other options is to look for another job.

A nanny wouldn’t work because of the children’s needs and trauma unfortunately.

Ive just sat and read this whole thread.

I am so confused. If its kinship foster caring, how are none of them siblings and where is the 4th coming from? Why cant a nanny or nursery/au pair set up work, unless of course the baby has medical problems from addiction in pregnancy etc.

I think if you explain why you actually need to.drop to 2 days, youll get more productive responses.

Whilst fostering in any capacity is admirable, it really doesnt sound like you can afford to take on the baby.

It is more than likely that there are things outlined in the children's care plan or to do with their particular circumstances which mean some of the suggestions being made aren't possible but which, quite correctly, @Topoftheroof cannot reveal here.

2 of the children are siblings but the others aren’t. I did say previously that they weren’t all siblings. Sorry if I wasn’t clear though.

So why do you need to take all of them?

You must be aware of the current state of the tv industry atm and I am sorry to say it but there are plenty of excellent people who will be desperate for a full Time staff job who can do 5 days a week so I can see why they are not jumping at you offer to reduce your day's - you are sadly very easily replaceable, even if they are telling you they can’t do without you! And they will be able to replace you with a much cheaper replacement. Also not sure how you think a HOP can only be present 2 days a week when everything changes hourly/daily which needs sign off unless you in post production?
A commend you for taking on fostering but can you not be paid from the council for this?

How are you managing the nursery run etc at the moment?

Have you also looked into taking parental leave for a few months when the baby arrives? I'm sure you must qualify. It would give you some breathing space – and some pay – to work out your next career step.

Could they still all be related to her - maybe cousins to each other? Bad luck to have two people in the family not able to look after their children, but it's possible.

It’s a complex situation and hard to explain.

if They did approve, and in the future you wanted to come back full time , how would it work? You have arguer your job can be done in two days so they may use the same logic back to you. Also can you find someone else who is on a senior level who is willing to job share?

It just means both parents have died.

Fingers crossed for you OP. Television is a really tough and unsupportive field.

If you have responsibility as a single person for three traumatised children - all of whom aren’t related to each other - and you are taking on a 4th infant - then I would want to see how social work have come to the view it’s in the best interests of all the children if you can’t keep your job but also can’t care for the kids equally?

I am not being challenging personally - but you are trying to fix an impossible situation. You’re already stretched and you aren’t getting enough support to care for the children.

I appreciate what you are doing and how you are juggling everything. But at the end of the day long term emotional and financial stability for the kids is very important.

Then, with respect, you need to find another job that can fit in with that. All people do!

i believe what’s closing your judgement is the expectation from employer based on irrelevant comparisons with other colleagues on 2 days. Even your title is to say. you are ‘annoyed’ at their decision. You seem to have just expected it and/ or believe it is they who should change so you and your challenging circumstances can work/ happen. I don’t believe this is a helpful way to approach any job situation. Again, you have my sympathies and hope it all works out!

can you claim UC etc? Most pp in your situation just stop working, unfortunately!

It's annoying, but you can't really force them, if they can prove the company can't support it. Personally, I'd look for another job which suited my family and personal life better. It's irrelevant really, if they "dread the day" or whatever. You have to put yourself first, in the same way they put their business first x

Why do you martyr yourself for kids that aren't yours? Fostering three little kids as a single working woman is already heroic. You don't have to take on a 4th if it means giving up your career

So you state that you can do your job in 2 days a week but are now doing it in 5 days so you are being overpaid for 3 days when you obviously have little to do. Your employer should be glad to only paying for 2 days a week going forward.

What about ask for 3 days or get another job

That’s not how I meant it/that’s not what I meant.

So what do you do for the other 3 days?

Are you 'stressed' from not having anything to do?

You’re at a tipping point - if you take the 4th child, you cannot work and have the baby. I would push back on the LA and ensure you’re getting carers allowance to allow you to take the 4th child. 4 children is not reasonable without carers allowance. How much are you getting per child?

Hrft. Firstly new job legislation, not yet statute reinforcing rights to apply for flexible working and employers needing to have valid reasons for refusal.

Secondly. If you can fo your job jn 2 days a week, do it and 'wfh' the other 3 days.

I'm like you and can't work FT for family reasons. My manager is amazingly accommodating but the higher up give my direct manager a bit of grief. My manager says they know I'll put in extra hours to make up for it whenever I can and would rather not lose me and have to train someone else.

I’ve not read all your replies but could you request a trial basis so that you can show it can work?

you could speak to ACAS for advice
www.acas.org.uk/contact