To be annoyed that my employer won’t let me go part time?

[Topoftheroof]

I currently work full time 5 days a week. I made a flexible working request to go part time to 2 days a week because of personal circumstances (family circumstances) but it was declined. I’m annoyed though because there are other people (2 other people) working in the company only 2 days a week so it’s not unheard of. But they won’t consider it because I’m a head of department (not in a school and nothing to do with education or academics) and they also won’t give me another role in the company either which can be 2 days a week. I feel like I could cry with stress, I can’t afford to not work at all but can’t work 5 days a week at the moment either due to circumstances. I explained on my request that part time 2 days a week might not be permanent but they still declined the request. Both my boss and the managing director are always moaning that they “dread the day” I leave because “there’s no one in the business as good as” me so it’s baffling to me that they wouldn’t approve the 2 days a week knowing that I can’t work full time 5 days a week at the moment but then at the same time always say that they don’t want me to leave the company and would do anything to stop me leaving. I haven’t decided if I should appeal it yet or not, I don’t know what to do. I’m just really upset and have been crying about it because I can’t afford not to work at all and can’t do full time at the moment either. I’m also very annoyed with my employer too for rejecting the request. AIBU to be annoyed with my employer about this?

Head of production.

There was another role (albeit a demotion) in the company that they also could have offered me but they declined that too.

Line Producer? Production Exec? Very full on jobs … never known one who wasn’t working ALL the hours and beyond - especially at the moment when budgets are crushed, teams are stretched and schedules are like playing Sudoku.

I really do try and support parents in telly and always enable drop off and pick up but it does mean people working in the evenings (commissioners not being fans of changing the delivery date and all that) but I really don’t know if I’d be able to make 2 or 3 days work. Have you contacted Pregnant Then Screwed? They may have some suggestions too.

Not for being kinship foster carers.

I haven’t heard of Share my Telly Job actually so I’ll have a look at that now, thank you so much x

OP you are marvellous for fostering but this level of commitment is not compatible with your life circumstances. You have no partner to help you and a FT job. As much as you want to help these children, you aren't really in a position to.

I wonder if they won’t offer you a demotion as it could be used against them in the future ( discrimination, constructive dismissal) could you apply for the lower level role?

Lots of employers won’t hire someone who’s overqualified so it makes sense that they won’t give you the role that’s a demotion. Despite your reasons for wanting that role, it’s often not the right fit for the company, not least the person who’d have to manage an ex-Head of Production in a lowlier role. They want someone at that level who’ll use the opportunity to develop, which you’ve already done. You’re seeing all this through the prism of your very specific and pressured needs because of the baby and other three children, and trying to prove it’s all possible but it’s really not compatible. Which is why single mums with 4 young children aren’t heads of production, but are more likely to be childminders if anything. I’m not trying to talk you out of your career, god knows we need good women in senior roles in tv, but I think you’ve done incredibly well to make this work with three and that four is just too much. I get it’s ’not that simple’ but this cannot be all your problem to take on. It’s too much to ask. Hope you find a way through without losing your career or your sense of your own priorities in amongst it all.

Yes, I'd be very careful about this if you do go back to them.

I’m probably wrong, but are you not entitled to some kind of “maternity” leave like when someone adopts?

I also came on to say sometimes if you find and bring in a jobshare person companies are more amenable to it.
Hadn't heard of Share My Telly Job, though; that sounds quite promising.

They may have disbanded since the pandemic but worth a look or a shout out to any former members / owners on something like ‘TV Switch Up’ or ‘TV Mindset’ on Facebook if not. You can post anonymously on them if you’re worried about anyone from your prod co seeing it.

It’s really not that simple though

Isn't it? Surely you speak to social services and explain your predicament. You can't do what you can't do.

You are not in a position to take the fourth baby. You have to say no. It really is that simple.

Sounds like you need to find another job that offers the hours you require. You can ask but companies don’t have to agree. You have done yourself no favours telling them you can do your job in 2 days, so they now know you have been useless for 3 days a week they have been paying you, so the sooner you leave the better.

It honestly isn’t that simple though

Can you say with (almost) certainty that the redistributed work you have proposed won't put added pressure and workload onto other teams and individuals? It seems inevitable that it would.

A two-day head of department seems bonkers to me, quite frankly, unless in very niche circumstances (and yes, I have worked in TV production before, though don't now admittedly).

I empathise with anyone going through stress with work aligning with personal life, but at the end of the day, your job isn't a charity. The job is there because there is a job to do, and you're not entitled to have a job created to your exact liking.

Can you explain why?

I think it kind of is. You aren’t going to persuade the company to accept two days a week as a head of department with line management responsibilities. You aren’t going to get a similar job in any other company either, no-one will want to take that on. You can’t afford not to work. However tragic the circumstances the only thing that can give here is that you are not in a position to take on a fourth child. Four foster children is an absolutely full time job.

I’d be very surprised if you can persuade your company to do three days either, although three spread over four shorter days might be worth a try and fit in better with nursery hours. Good luck with the meeting but I do think you need to be a bit more realistic.

In what way would it not be simple? You mean there would be a big fallout with your family because you can't take the new child? Certainly. But you simply don't have the capacity. You are already a single parent to three young children, with a full-time job. You can't take a fourth or you would lose your career. It is simple.

No that’s not the reason, the reason it’s not simple is not because there would be a fallout with family.

This is your life though. It matters. Your resources aren’t endless.

If you receiving foster care momey weekly why cant you pay for a nanny or a childminder or private nursery for the baby. Then you won't need to leave your job

Agree with this. If you are willing to lose 60% of your income going 2 days a week, juts get a nanny.

I’m amazed Social Services even agreed re the youngest child you already have, with your full time career. A fourth, and without their demanding that you go part time, seems very rash.