To ask DH to keep our BTL

[Nosdoc]

We own a BTL property that generates a decent income for me - it’s set up so that most of the income is directed to me. DH plans to refurbish and sell the property and us the proceeds to pay of the mortgage on our house. All very sensible but as I don’t work, the BTL is my only source of income. DH doesn’t plan on reducing the monthly payments on our mortgage, but he is going to reduce the term, so we won’t see any immediate benefit from lower repayments. I am feeling distressed because this money provides me with considerable financial freedom.

My husband is refusing to discuss and has told me the plan to sell is final.

So your dh is doing this on top of his actual job to give you spending money.
I understand why he wants to sell it

Is there a reason that you absolutely cannot work?

On the face of what you have said , your husband owned the property but transferred a share to you - so it never cost you anything. Then he covered all the costs of it and the running of it but you had the income from it ? He pays the bills , so this is your ‘fun’ money , to spend when the children are in school and he’s at work? He also pays a cleaner to clean the house ?

If there is more to it, then please do say , but I think you have to admit that this really does not seem like he is being unreasonable to not want to have to do all that any more when you’re children are in school and you could work … the house he paid for , he is getting nothing from and he wants to use that to shorten your mortgage which leaves you in a better position in the future ?

I presume he will still be covering all the bills as you have no income? So surely you could get even a part time job , to give you some income ?

It sounds like the original agreement was you manage the BTL and look after the children and he works full time. But the goal posts moved to him working full time and looking after the btl and the children being at school.

Tread carefully OP because you might think you have all the cards right now but the minute he calls your bluff and divorces you, you are up the creek. Half of the equity in the properties and cms will be a much less financially comfortable existence than this one. Especially if you can't manage any of the rentals so can't keep them on yourself and have an out of date cv that will only get you back in the workplace as a minimum wage worker.

She’s still a SAHM even if her kids are at school. She’s the one doing school runs, sorting uniforms, helping with homework, cooking meals, and keeping the home running smoothly. When the children were younger, she probably saved the family thousands in childcare costs. She may have missed out on career opportunities and promotions by staying home, while her husband could focus on his career without worry.
I’m a SAHM with school-age children, and it absolutely makes our lives easier. My husband goes to work, and when he comes home the house is clean, dinner is ready, the kids are bathed, and homework is done. That means we can actually relax together as a family. It may not be for everyone, but for us, it works for others OP hasn’t actually said her husband would like her to get a job . If they don’t both agree with her stying home that’s different

So it's really his property in the great scheme of things?

Have you come up with a list of benefits to keeping it other than it's giving you money?

Obviously it's not convenient to your DH.

You need to get a job. Or learn to live on whatever the amount he's comfortable to give you. And be sweet to him so he continues paying for your DC private school.

Your DH is NBU to want to get rid of the BTL.

However, he should be agreeing to have a proper conversation with you about the whole issue, and how you keep some independence.

OP you've had a great deal, but does seem to be coming to an end.

Your DH wants to sell the BTL to reduce the mortgage term on your resudence, so he can retire early.

You seem to want him to continue to work full time and manage the BTL property, so that you can have a comfortable lifestlye without having to work.

I'd be really pissed off if I was him.

But it's not for him to worry about OP's independence surely? it's for her to sort this out?

At present he invests time and effort in this BTL and gets nothing out of it.

No. You don’t pay, you spend the money from the BTL to finance your lifestyle and your child school fees. No wonder feel aggrieved. You Take (a lot) and don’t contribute practically or financially

We’ve just exchanged contracts on selling our BTL. I’m really pleased. Of course if I’d been just sitting back doing nothing while the income rolled in I wouldn’t be so relieved.

I’m with your husband.

Most Private schools offer wraparound care as part of the fees so it's very likely she could have 8-5:30.

It would be a poor decision on many levels to remove a child from the same school as their siblings in order to retire earlier. But is that something your DH would be likely to complain about you spending money front the joint account on? He surely knows that the BTL money covers that?

If he doesn’t want your own child to go to the same school as your joint children and is prepared to refuse to pay for it, he is being very unreasonable. But it also means you need to be thinking about how to split up from him. It’s damaging to bring a child up in an atmosphere like that with obvious favourtism towards siblings. You can’t stay if he thinks of your own child like that. (Also a big pointer towards the need to start earning your own money again).

No
you pay additional fee for after school and breakfast club, not included in fees

Wise words, MumOryLane

Jeez. You know other people do all that AND work don’t you?

Hahahahaha, she’s not going to tell you that ! Op has successfully avoided any question that she doesn’t want to answer so far.
Seems DH has had enough of being taken for a mug and has finally put his foot down !

It doesn’t seem like OP was particularly bothered about having made some huge career sacrifice, she’s bothered her unaccounted fun money is coming an end.
She also has a cleaner, so really her tasks are very minimal and easily done by working parents too. Hell, she could work PT and it would still give her plenty of time for cooking and homework.

Like you said it’s great if everyone is on board with it, but the husband doesn’t seem to be anymore and the logical solution is for her to find her own income.

It would be essential for us to know what he considered as frivolous and whether that’s unreasonable or not.

No OP. YOU don't pay for your child. Your husband pays through the BTL. you're not earning anything, so you re paying for nothing.

Your husband owned the property before you were married, he manages it and sorts out all the maintenance and hassle that goes along with it.
You stay at home with your primary school aged children and don’t want him to sell it because otherwise you won’t have spending money and your DH will be aware what you are spending the joint account money on as that will be the only money you have access to?!
Im not surprised he wants to sell it, and really, as he does all the work for it and owned it prior to the marriage you can’t really expect to have too much of a say.
If a woman on here was saying that she had an HMO that she managed and owned prior to the marriage that she wanted to sell but her DH didn’t want her to sell it because he doesn’t want to work and also doesn’t want her to be able to comment on his spending, she would be advised to leave or he’d be called a cock lodger….
I found your attitude totally bizarre, I don’t ’have to’ work we could manage without me doing so, but because I don’t want anyone thinking they can dictate how I spend money I make sure I EARN MY OWN…. I too have children, I pick them up from school, do homework etc they aren’t traumatised by the fact their Mother works, they know that if you want money for stuff you have to earn it and save and that it’s my wages that enables them to have all the extra things that they do.

So you could do it, surely? Don’t let him holding this over you be the reason you choose to bow to pressure.

Nice work if you can get it.

Well yes, it is a joint concern.
There needs to be a discussion about how finances are to be managed now. It seems like there are other rental properties in the portfolio so perhaps it makes sense to divert some of the income to OP.
I'm sure it won't take long for the DH to realise that if OP is to work then he will need to pick up some of the slack in terms of childcare and housekeeping. There are very few jobs which are short hours, term time only and pay anything like enough to make it worthwhile losing the flexibility that a SAHM brings to a higher income partner.

As a dyslexic, I was looking forward to a thread about a BLT sandwich, I am bitterly disappointed

I would look at starting to take over some of the work of the rental properties. Take some pressure off him and build some independence for you.