To ask DH to keep our BTL

[Nosdoc]

We own a BTL property that generates a decent income for me - it’s set up so that most of the income is directed to me. DH plans to refurbish and sell the property and us the proceeds to pay of the mortgage on our house. All very sensible but as I don’t work, the BTL is my only source of income. DH doesn’t plan on reducing the monthly payments on our mortgage, but he is going to reduce the term, so we won’t see any immediate benefit from lower repayments. I am feeling distressed because this money provides me with considerable financial freedom.

My husband is refusing to discuss and has told me the plan to sell is final.

It’s not just up to your husband it’s a joint decision, I m in a similar position but my husband works and I get my income from the interest from are savings . How is he expecting you to fund your life style once the house is sold ? And why is he in such a hurry to sell ? if it’s only affects the term and not monthly payments ?.

So you don't work, can't/won't clean and won't manage the rental property that's in your name either - all while your husband works, finances you and all the children, pays for a cleaner and deals with the rental property.

I'm not bloody surprised he wants to sell.

if All kids at school then look for a job to get some income

I’m assuming his wages go into the bank aka pot - cover the mortgage and bills and you are not allowed money from this pot

I was responding to you saying that men need women to support them working type thing.

That isn’t the case for most people in my experience. And the idea that in 2025 men need a good woman behind them to facilitate them working is very outdated.

I definitely wouldn’t want to work f/t, presumably in quite a high paying = high pressure job and then manage an HMO for someone else really.
So no blame here but you will have to discuss your future plans and finances as a couple - eg/can you remain a SAHM - does he know how much money you need, and for what and do the finances add up.
Maybe there’s further issues but if he does pay the mortgage with the money that leaves you ok if it ever came to financial splits, as it is your asset too.

Is this a reverse?

it sounds like the property is a considerable burden on him, and he sees no upside.

if you want financial independence, you need to get a job.

This - it sounds like the OP could work but she'd rather her husband pays for her 'treats'. To me this smacks of entitlement.

It matters because your DH has clearly decided that he is no longer willing to support you to be a SAHP. So you have three options if he refuses to discuss it - sell it and you have no income going forward.

Sell it, get a job and tell you DH he needs to pick up 50% of the childcare and the childcare costs.

Or refuse to sell it, initiate a divorce and take half the assets, because his unwillingness to have a conversation is really unfair and shows he doesn’t view you a an equal partner.

If he can’t afford to replace the income. How is he going to manage to pay what that income is paying for now

Can you look for a full time job to replace the income. Obviously because dc are at primary school you will need wrap around care which he will also need to pay half of as well as half of the cleaners costs and school fees. As well as doing half of the pickups and drop offs
Half the cooking, shopping, cleaning. He can’t just come home anymore and not have any responsibilities

I would say he wants you out at work. The problem comes when he expects you to do everything you did before and his life not to change.

Sell it, stop factory farming tiny rooms and inadequate housing to people who probably work their arses off for your treats money with no Hope of ever getting a mortgage.
maybe a family will be able to buy it rather than another landlord who offers no additional value and simply controls access to essential commodities like housing because they happen to have more money, and is able to extract value from other peoples sweat while they do fuck all

Any of the work? She is caring for the children ...that is work

the7Vabo

It can be the other way around too, a number of my friends are main earners, the other works in a lower paying job/ sahp to facilitate it but yes sorry, just having a day, went off on a rant!!

How many kids do you have with him, or do ye both have young kids from previous relationships, how many in total and what ages

So what do you buy that your DH would regard as "frivolous" OP?
You've also written in this post "my DC" and "his DC" - are they one and the same or do you have DC from previous relationships? How many DC do you have?

Perhaps the money from the BTL is working harder else where. We have a BTL which I get the income from however my husband wants to sell that as he says the return is very poor and we would get more elsewhere....

You need to talk to your husband about where your funds are coming from.

You are a female cocklodger.

It's already here. Getting clear information from OP is like pulling teeth!

Assuming a stereotypical set up, which could of course be wrong, then it is likely his children don't live with them full time and likely spend more time at their mother's house.

As she pays school fees for her child, it's not impossible that the child is at a boarding school or is at school for longer hours than a normal school. Again, this may be wrong but fee-paying schools do tend to have longer days and Saturday schooling for day pupils.

There may not be as much full-time caring for multiple children as is being made out.

So your H’s plan is to sell the BTL to fund the reduce the mortgage repayments on your family home and he wants to retire early. What are your plans and have you discussed them with your H?

You say that the management of the BTL was too much for you but can you must be able to appreciate that your H probably doesn’t want the stress either.

You and your H don’t sound like much of a team. He wants to simplify his financial obligations and you come across as someone who wants no profit from the BTL but you don’t want the responsibility of managing it. Both positions are fine to take but you should at the bare minimum, discuss them.

I think you desire for financial freedom and independence without assuming any responsibility is myopic at best.

So Dh works, manages the BTL and sees none of the income. You are a SAHM with a cleaner I think you need to get a job your children are primary age what do you do all day? When are you planning to return to work? Im not surprised he wants to sell he is working and has made investments so why shouldn't he have early retirement as a goal rather than financing the entire household. YABU.

OP you won’t get a lot of support on here being a SAHM . A lot of the time it sounds like jealousy. It’s a joint property and your husband doesn’t get a final say . Explain your concerns send him a message if it easer to relay all your worries.

No she's not, they're all in school. She doesn't even do the housework.

Yeah I hate it when people suggest that men are only able to advance in their career because they have a SAHP.

There’s childcare, cleaners etc etc that they can outsource too. And plenty of men are more than selfish enough to prioritise their careers over their family regardless of whether or not their DW or mother of their children are willing to pick up the slack. Being a SAHP is a privilege many can’t afford and the benefit from it is for the children, which is a good reason to do it. But these high flying men would still have their careers regardless if their wife was also in employment too.

Why do you not go to work?

OP what are you hoping to get out of this thread? Because you're not going to get anything remotely helpful if you drip feed.