To ask DH to keep our BTL

[Nosdoc]

We own a BTL property that generates a decent income for me - it’s set up so that most of the income is directed to me. DH plans to refurbish and sell the property and us the proceeds to pay of the mortgage on our house. All very sensible but as I don’t work, the BTL is my only source of income. DH doesn’t plan on reducing the monthly payments on our mortgage, but he is going to reduce the term, so we won’t see any immediate benefit from lower repayments. I am feeling distressed because this money provides me with considerable financial freedom.

My husband is refusing to discuss and has told me the plan to sell is final.

Plenty of women manage to be high earners and mothers

Agreed.

My husband and I both work. I’m
part time. Yes I could work full time now the kids are grown up but I work 4 days. He obviously earns more than me. We have a joint account. He never questions what I spend money on. I don’t spend on hair, nails, clothes very often. The one day off I do housework, grocery shopping, batch cooking etc so we both consider that still work . I think it does come down to what do you spent this money on? Are you having a lavish lifestyle? How much are you going through on this monthly? bills are paid by him how much do you honestly need on top and discuss that with him. A compromise would be you get a part time job or some of this profit money goes to the mortgage and you take less for yourself.

Me too!

She doesn't want to work though, it's plainly obvious.

She's having a bloody good deal with doing nothing whilst her primary age kids are at school, has very hefty amounts from monthly HMO rents and spends it on frivolous things for herself. Of course being unoccupied her shopping/entertainment fills her days.

I bet childcare for primary school age kids won't cost more than HMO rent. And she wouldn't even manage said HMO so DH has to do it on the top of his job.

What a peach!

Rather than sell he should consider releasing some of the equity, this would help pay off some of the mortgage of your own home whilst keeping the asset. Yes the profit from it would go down as the payments would increase however it would be a compromise for both of you & the asset would still go up in value over the years. I’d also do a rent review & see if it is in line with market rents as this may also help with the increase in costs from releasing further equity & keep you with a decent income.

It covers a cleaner, due to a physical condition I’m unable to clean the house to the standard that I want; it partly pays for school fees for my DC; the rest is on treat and misc expenses, which I equally spend on his DC.

So what is DHs plan with cleaning and school fees if he sells this place?

Exactly. OP was quite content with the financial setup prior to her DH wanting to sell. Perfectly happy not to be involved in any of the finances, any of the decisions, any of the work, as long as she got her “income”. And when she realised that will be switched off, only then is she concerned.

So how much money do you get a month to spend on these things?

And how much spending money does he get a month, and what does he spend it on?

I think there’s a drip feed coming here. Do you not have joint DC? Is he paying school fees for your dc from this money?

Not his children.

So… your kids are all in school. so you’re not a stay at home mum, you’re just someone that doesn’t have a job.

And you’re pissed off because your husband doesn’t want to work longer than he needs to so that he can keep funding your leisure time?

Unless there is a massive backstory you are being massively unreasonable.

So, DH owned a house. For free you were gifted a share of it and get most of the benefit. It runs as an HMO but your DH has to actually run it on top of his full time job because you tried and couldn't. Your kids are in primary school and you have a cleaner but you say you are "unable to work" due to being a SAHM. However you don't want him to get rid of this house that he has to run on top of his work because you like getting all the money.

If you were a bloke you'd be called a cocklodger, OP.

Maybe go find a part time job and earn some money?

Oh I missed that. So rather complicated then.

you need to have a chat with DH and financial advisor, bricks and mortar are a long term investment and very rarely decrease in value. Another 5 years and your situation may have changed and the property should have increased.

Yeah. That said my children, not our children.

My assumption is that the HMO rent has been paying for one set of kids to be privately educated. I am even less surprised he wants to sell.

exactly. He works. He manages the HMO which was already his before the marriage. She uses this money to live on, clean the house because she can't, pay for her children to go to a private school, but apparently gives HIS children some treats. I have clearly gone wrong somewhere in my life.

If it's taking up large amounts of his time to manage the property, then it's not really surprising he wants to sell. Why don't you look at a school lunchtime supervisor in a school type role/part time school admin role, something that would be term time only and fits around school.

@Nosdoc forget about the financial arrangements between the two of you. Being a landlord now in the coming years will be a nightmare due to all the incoming legislation changes.

Also, it is likely that there will be taxes on the capital gains in the forthcoming budget. Both of those in isolation are good reasons to sell, but together, it is a no brainer.

I would suspect he’s fed up and wants a break too - including retiring early.

Or maybe he’s wising up that he’s got himself a bit of a gold digger and is sorting his finances out.

So you are a blended family. This is potentially very complicated!!

No-one is saying being a SAHM isn't a valid choice, but it has to be a decision taken jointly and can only last as long as both partners are still in agreement with it.

I'm agog that the OP can't/won't even manage the property she's been lucky enough to have been technically gifted (albeit for tax-dodging purposes, which I'm side-eyeing).

But anyway to cut to the chase:

I am feeling distressed because this money provides me with considerable financial freedom.

It doesn't provide you with financial freedom, as you are now discovering. It's just another way of being dependent on your husband.

I suppose you could simply refuse to sell your share but I'm not sure how well that would work out in the long term for you or your marriage.

The only thing that will provide you with genuine financial freedom is your own income from your own job (not from a property that wasn't yours to start with and that you cannot manage yourself).

Where do I find myself one of these men 🤣🤣

No wonder he wants to sell up , he’s drawn the short straw hasn’t he out of this deal . He gets all the work and you get the benefits AND he’s already handed most of the property over to you to start with . A bit of a doormat isn’t he by the sounds of it ….!