To ask DH to keep our BTL

[Nosdoc]

We own a BTL property that generates a decent income for me - it’s set up so that most of the income is directed to me. DH plans to refurbish and sell the property and us the proceeds to pay of the mortgage on our house. All very sensible but as I don’t work, the BTL is my only source of income. DH doesn’t plan on reducing the monthly payments on our mortgage, but he is going to reduce the term, so we won’t see any immediate benefit from lower repayments. I am feeling distressed because this money provides me with considerable financial freedom.

My husband is refusing to discuss and has told me the plan to sell is final.

When do I do laundry and meet teachers and make meals and do picks ups and stuff? Are you actually asking that? It’s not that tricky to imagine the life of a working parent is it….

Funnily enough children of working mums still ‘need’ them
working doesn’t prevent us caring for our children

Who pays for all the bills and repairs associated with the rental property? I would hope these expenses come from the rental income and not DH's salary or family savings.
OP, I get you want to keep this easy money coming in. But it's not easy for DH by the sounds of it. And his long term plan is very sensible.
As I understand it, the rental income is your spending money for yourself, not for families needs.
Presumably you have separate access to family money for household spending and children spending and necessities for you.
You will have to either agree with DH a lower and manageable amount for your own 'fun' money or you divorce him and get % of rental property, % of residential home and whatever else is family savings and assets. Then you deal with the associated regular expenses and find out that funds for frivolous expenses are not that easy to part with.
Just be sensible and support DH carve out a secure future for your family without unnecessary stress for the foreseeable future. There is a limit to how much money this man can make without getting himself ill from stress and exhaustion and you and the family would benefit from long term security.

OP isn't being "unfairly clobbered" - people can only respond to the information they're given and we're clearly not being given the whole story.
OP tells us in her first post that "DH doesn’t plan on reducing the monthly payments on our mortgage, but he is going to reduce the term, so we won’t see any immediate benefit from lower repayments ... My husband is refusing to discuss and has told me the plan to sell is final." and in another post "He does all of the maintenance, taxes, dealing with estate agents and tenants. He will refuse to do that if I refuse to sell."
So, they've discussed it sufficiently for OP to know her DH's rationale for wanting to sell and that he's prepared to coerce her into doing so. I cannot believe that OP hasn't voiced her concerns during these conversations about her lost income or that her DH hasn't responded to those concerns - she's just not telling us.

If it requires more work and maintenance than you can manage as a SAHM surely its also too much for him to manage on top of what I presume is also a full time job. I think you're being unfair on him OP. I think you need to discuss what he expects you to do for money once it's sold though.

Did your H tell you not to work so he can control you? He's controlling you now.

You've been made to feel incapable of managing anything financial.

Is this anything to do with his culture where women are controlled?

Your marriage sounds toxic.

These should be joint decisions.

It matters because he is able to make unilateral decisions, you can’t manage the property yourself and he doesn’t give you any money from his salary?

so you need a plan for when you lose this income stream? If the children are in school this will be easier to manage.

I am a working parent but not everyone has a job that fits around school. I do this stuff while my child's at school mostly.

Is he a full time landlord?

You said you have another property too unless I've misread.

I just think you have to come to an agreement on something big like that, otherwise the relationship feels unbalanced and there's resentment.

Are you both on the same page about you being a SAHM?

Have you had a discussion about receiving money from his income if you current source of income goes?

Do you trust that he'll stick to agreed conditions of selling the house e.g. you receive x amount per month from him?

If it was me I'd be okay with selling the house if I trusted he would provide a reasonable income for me and not lord it over me.

✨ Evenings and weekends ✨

I don't really understand when people say they're a 'SAHM' but the kids are out at school all day. If you want an income - get a job.

DH doesn’t plan on reducing the monthly payments on our mortgage, but he is going to reduce the term, so we won’t see any immediate benefit from lower repayments.

If he's reducing the term, you will either have to increase the monthly payments, or pay off a chunk of the mortgage. There is sometimes a limit on how much this can be in a year.

When do you work then?

I am just amazed at how much spending does she do if the kids are at school and she doesnt work (no commute costs)

hair, nails, gym, spa?

unless there is a curveball and the husband doesnt pay for food or kids clubs and so on...

even so. get a job

Well I work a three hour commute away half the week and I also still manage…so let’s not pretend that being a SAHM parent is a full time job and working alongside it is an impossibility. It’s so patronising.

Sorry but it was his house and he does all the work/admin for it. You just get the profit from it. I think it is unreasonable for you to try and stop him from selling it. He is wanting to use the money from it to help your future financial situation ans reduce the mortgage and your annoyed your free “pocket money” is going. As long as he is willing to fund you being a SAHM then I don’t know what you have to complain about. If you want more spending money then get a part time job around the children.

"I use the BTL income for all my spending."

What does he expect you to live off without this income?

I got your point until you said you wouldn’t manage the property. You can’t have it all ways ie him doing everything and you just skimming off the profit. If you want to keep it learn to manage it.

Because you are utterly reliant on your husband financially - he's even given you an asset, and has to manage it for you as you are unable to. Don't you see how incredibly vulnerable that makes you?

How is he going to sell it if it’s owned mainly by you?

Sounds like he’s bored of being the only one to provide financially and the SAHM is no longer something he agrees to.

Fuck me. What do you actually do?

So basically he does all the work and you get the money??

To be fair it could actually be that her husband won't let her go out to work, it's not unheard of. OP hasn't really opened up about what his thoughts are on all this.

Perhaps your DH doesn’t fancy doing all the maintenance and organisation of the property and coordination of the respective tenants anymore on top of working a full time position?